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When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

missin everyone already. . . daph, jo, ivy left for msia liao. . . shu and qin going next. . . sigh. . . in less than a week. . . i will also be leaving for japan. . . gonna love the time spent there but i tink it is freakin cold. . . today went for dim sum with my grandma. . .mum ordered lyk so much. . was feeling very stuffed. . .went to see cars cos dad wanted to change again. . . lyk in my whole lifetime, my dad changed six cars liao. . . was not feelin very happie cos changes did not do good for me this week. . .

each time i look at the card kai and ning gave me, i feel lyk cryin. .. two years is so bloody short la and it was lyk yesterday when i met them. . .haven shop for their prezzies yet. . . have to write alot of cards. . . submit my obtion liao. . . c4, c3 and c6. . . realli did not care liao. . . sigh. . . feelin very down. . . mi sis going out with mi to watch white chicks or dunno wad movie. . . realli gonna miss sec 2 truth. . .

got a msg for some peeps:

daphne: spas, lovable, cute, shuai gal. . . very damn nice to hug. . . gonna miss you loads when we are diff klas, but muz remember to come and find me hor. . . dun tink so much about things, juz be urself and muz remember me always. . . will always keep ur prezzie with mi and pray tat the jar dun break. . .will always love you. . .

jo: omg. . . there is loads of things to thank you for. . . for being there for mi when i am sad, spas, angry etc. . . my anime lover. . . muz remain chibi and cute always. . .miss you always and will always be frenz despite you being far away. . . do not fail to call me or sms kaez. . .

ivy: my cute little fluffy thingy. . . shinichi lover. . .you are always very sweet and cute and too nice. . . love your sarcastic side. . .muz always stay this way and do not let others change you. . . remember, a secret makes a woman woman. you finally got your wish. . . muz look me up. . .

beatz: my darlin little slacker. . . loadz of fun and luffs. . . love you loadz. . . muz take care and do well kaez. . .do not forget me no matter wad or i will come and stalk you. . . haha. .. will miss you laughs and jokes and especially craps. . .

lei: my precious lesbian partner as well as t.k hater. . . you will be my index no. partner no matter wad. . . no one can replace you. . . mrs tom felton. . . finally i said tat. . . haha. . . muz keep contact. . .

fang: huggable, squishy tracker. . . will realli miss you when u go for nj. . . muz take care and remember me often. . . muz come back to visit or all of us will come after you. . . do not worrie about us and muz learn to appreciate a good fren lyk me. . . love you lotz and muz come back to sing with mi. . .

kaili: smart pro . . . . muz invite mi to ur house to bake cookies kaez. . . ur bro is damn cute and sweet but you are realli adorable. . . love you and muz come and look for me. . .

yuting: sow discorder. . . haha. .. will miss you loads when we are in diff klas. . . will miss you buggin mi and ur rollin eyes. . . dun worri, i will come and find you. .. hope our klas is near to each other. .. will realli miss you. . . brownie baker. . .muz go to kaili's house and bake somemore kaez

ning: my maths competitor. . . will realli miss you la. . . two years is very short. . . ur letter will give you, provided you come back and see me. . . i will also visit you kaez. . .the egg is urs for the taking. . . haha. . . die die also muz come back kaez. . .

kaixin: wrote urs last cos there is so much i need to say to you. . . realli going to miss you loads. . . muz be happie kaez, do not feel sad and i promise you that i will visit you with flo and jing. . . you are realli a fantastic fren and i am sorrie that you haf to leave. . . two years is realli very short for the both of us and despite all that. .. i will always think of you. . . no matter wad, i will look for you. . . i wun forget you cos you made an impact on my life. . . dun worrie, we will make the cca work so leave without any worrys. . . see you soon and promise me tat you will come back and visit. . . i am realli gonna miss you loads and will always keep you in mi mind. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

no matter how much i tried to control myself today, i still cried. . . in the morn was ok, danced family dance and line dance. . . emotions still under control. . . then saw kai's card and started tearing. . .took photos of everyone. . . went to charity and i did not cry there. .. was taking photos with kai, xuan and wen for the last time as them in st nicks. . . then went back to klas to keep up. . . kai came down to my klas then i juz broke down while huggin her. . . juz kept on crying and cried even more when ppl started comforting me. . . i am realli going to miss them. . . photos can never replace them. . .i am dun even care about my results anymore. . . cried again in the hall when ning came to give me a card. . .i can't believe they are leaving. . . realli dunno wad to do. . . no matter wad, i wun forget them. . . they became a very impt part of my life.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

tomorrow last day of school liao. . .
never thot tat i would be very sad. . .
last day as a class and i am gonna miss everyone
kai, wen, xuan, fang, jia, qin, ning leaving
going to cry lyk shit tomorrow. . . i dun care if i get sore eye anymore, juz gonna cry. . . can't stand it anymore. . . why can't time juz stop. . .juz lyk kai said. . . everyone tat says we are going to keep in touch is lying. . . tat would be impossible. . . we would forget one another and juz carry one with life. . . it juz sucks. . . all the time spent together is lyk lost with juz this separation. . .if lyk tat. . . i juz wanna be alone. . . tat way. . . i would not lose the ppl i lyk and love. . .i juz feel very numb. . . i cannot stand it liao. . . why does things haf to be this way. . . and i cannot cry to anyone, not anymore. . .i hate it. . .things are going to change, and i dun haf a way to stop it

durin cca had the farewell for kai and hazel... it was so bloody sad la. . . i did not cry, saving all my tear tomorrow. . . juz tearin now. .. i am so lost. . . all the ones tat i love are leavin me. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

practice the pearl and family dance today. . . couldn't stop luffin when they were acting la. . . very cute. . . went out with ivy and kai. . . i am officially broke until i get paid. . . bought lyk a handphone pouch, handphone hang thingy??? took neoprints and sketch portrait... the sketch portrait was very funni cos outside also ppl can see it drawing and we looked very spas. . . it was very fun la today. . . neoprints was lyk one of the most successful ones i took, other than the one tat i took with daph, jo and jia which is part of it is destroyed due to it sticking to my wallet. .. wad a pity la. .. but nvm. . .ate tako and pretzel. . . was afraid of mayo due to the kind hearted kai pointing out all the calories. .. great. . . going to be a health freak. . . walked all over j8. . . think tat going to go there again on fri cos mi sis wanna eat sushi. . . and we are going to japan lyk in less than two weeks??? she got prob but nvm. . . dun mind as long as she is payin

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i hate fridays. . .
dunno wad to say except i wanna cry

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am sick of everything liao. . . my mood was lyk going from bad to worse today. . . was so bloody irritated with her la. . . dunno wad is her prob. . . so wad if the teacher lyks her. . . bloody slacker. . . nv do anything somemore. . . onli find excuses to escape. . . was totally pissed off at cca la. . . snapped at my senior. . . not realli her fault la. . . juz tat she came to irritate me at the wrong time. . . i very seldom angry one. . . unless push me too far but then is onli i snap onli. . . so far not tat serious. . . flo also onli in four years see me snap once and i was not even very pissed off la. . . tolerance still can la. . . but juz push it or i will throw something at tat person.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

things to do:
1. videos
- shanghai trip
- ms gwee
- sport day
- cca fair
2. 3 posters for cca
3. music for the pearl
4. finish video proposal
5. redo maths text book

juz realised tat i haf deaddues tat lastest are by next week tues. . . and daph says tat she is busy. . . i am so gonna die.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

now school is very borin. . . lyk juz got rubbish activities juz to pass time. . . had a talk today. . was stayin in the av room crappin. . . then had to discuss the cca fair. . . went to the av room. . . got air con unlike the other ccas. . . doing video again and lyk already haf three videos in my hand already? muz do the sports day one and ms gwee's video by next week. . . sigh. . . muz stay back again liao. . . but use the emac very fast now. . . juz finish one shanghai one. . . actually tat one is my pres one but juz stay back and help her la. . .next year wun haf an video group liao. . . kai going nj. . . me and jing doing micromouse so onli left flo in the group. . .

came back quite late la. . . round 5.30? took the bus. . . met brendan on 76. . . didn't see him until going to alight cos all along my back was facin him while i was tokin to flo, kai and jing. . . then walk together home la. . . still refuse to help me write his name. . ask me to give him paper when we were walkin back la. . . didn't haf paper with me so he nv write. . . weirdo. . . dunno why dun wanna help me. . . lousy neighbour / bro.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

feelin quite happie today. . . chatted wif mi kor brendy. . . he so funni and weird la. . . wad's worse is tat he insulted me!!! the chat went lyk tat:

brendan : death the onli solution?
brendan : u nuts ah?
mi : u got prob ah. . . onli a nick mahz
brendan : either tat or u are bolts

got two insults from juz two mins of chattin. . . wad a nice person. . . metrosexual. . . nvm seen such a weird guy before.

mi : at least i not short wad
brendan : wei wei wei
brendan : height does not matter
brendan : i always knew tat u were crazy

third insult. . . going to kill him la. should not haf wished him happie birthday. . . juz when i ask him to juz write his name for me. . . he thinks tat i am going to jinx him. . . wadeva.

mi : help me write ur name on a piece of paper
brendan : dun want
brendan : later u go and do voo doo on me
mi : i wun la
brendan : i lazy to do. . . see my mood
brendan : i still think tat you are going to do something to me lyk curse me

wadeva la. . . he very funni ah. . . insulted me more than five times durin our chat. . . got some i cannot remember cos nv save the conversation. . . should haf saved it la. . . so wasted. . . then threaten him. . . lucky nv tok to him face to face. . . or i surely going to suffer lyk siao. . . if i remember correctly. . . he climbed over the fence into my house juz to take something. . . and he borrowed my dvd player. . . forgot to remind him of all this things. . . aiya. . . doesn't noe how to appreciate. . . also very kpo leh. . . juz now kaixin and jingzhi was at my house downstairs. . . then he came back. . . had eye contact with him i tink but i didn't noe tat he saw got ppl in my house. . . then later ask me. . . so busybody lyk an ah soh. . . aiya wad to do. . . my neighbour wad. . . both of us noe wad is going on in each others houses. . . he also one san xin liang yi one la. . . change gfs so many times. . . wad is worse tat he noes alot of my school gals la. . . last year somemore came to the funfair. . . horrid.

today had av duty. . . run here and there la. . . .was so bloody tired and perspiring lyk shit. . . . jia say i lyk washed my face. . . stupid visualiser. . . cannot work. . . had family dance. . . was so fun. . . dunno why but i lyk dancing it. . . dance for lyk eight years liao but still very fun. . . going to miss it when i graduate. . . daph was being silly as usual. . . durin the partner part, she kept on sayin left, right, turn, lyk a commander. was luffin lyk shit ah. . . was very fun and silly. . . left two more weeks onli. . . realise tat flo and i nv realli tok about wad happens if we go to a diff jc. . . brought it up today and i tink tat it finally hit her tat the possibility is very slim. . . haha. . . she was quite disappointed tat i am not tryin for three pure. . . or else got chance to be in same klas. . . but nvm la. . . same cca already i very man zhu. . .also dunno wad to do without all my klasmates. . . going to miss them very much. . . this years klas rocks. . . realli it does. . .going to miss everyone. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i hate myself la
dunno wad is wrong with me nowadays
my attitude totally sucks
all problems coming together juz to kill me
i dunno wad to do anymore
i am juz so lost
two weeks more and i will juz break down
i dun want anything anymore
i dun feel happie tat the hols are coming
juz feel sad cos i dunno wad to do
life is so boring
is there all there is to it?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i hate today. . . all the bloody papers came back la. . . wtf. . . four papers in a day. . . wanna kill us. .. and didn't do very well somemore. . . sigh. . . will not care anymore la. . . juz slack and slack and slack until i die. .. tomorrow going out with jo then later got a dinner. .. sianz. . . two formal dinners in two weeks. .. not funni. . .

i tink tey is interested in lei or vennetta la. . . so gross. . . dunno wad is his prob. . . going thru maths paper tat time. . . keep on lookin at us and squintin his eyes and raisin his eyes brows. . . throught out the whole hour la. . . we were laughin lyk siao and rollin our eyes at him . . . then tat blob thot i and lei got prob cos we were holding hands. . . not becos we are les but becos our hands were bloody cold due to the freakin aircon. . . lyk zero degrees la. . . blob was doing dunno wad hand sigh to me and lei and i tink it is tellin us to hug? he very weird then tey and blob keep on lookin at us and raisin their eye brows. . . dunno wad is their prob. . . FYI. . . tey was starin at ven, lei and i, not at sharppi or daph as they claimed. . . we haf xinhui and siew and beatz as our witness. . .muz be due to their refractive index of the eye. . . s0 look as though lookin at them. . . was cursin tey throughout la. . . keep on making lei and i luff. . . later get us into trouble. . . asshole. . .

i am tired of ur games liao and tired of u not being able to make up ur mind. i cannot stand ur indecisiveness anymore. why does it seem tat when i tink tat i noe u, u will juz change and show me a different side of u? i have no patience for u to make up ur mind liao. sometimes i wonder if i realli noe u, or u are the same person tat i was close to once before. u can't have both worlds, u can only choose one. i onli have very little time to stay with u, thus the time will not be used to wait any longer.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my legs are hurtin very badly. . . cursin daph and jo all the way for makin me walk yesterday. . . juz went out with shu,angel and wedy. . . .sufferin from walkin two days of shops. . . today was fun. . . met angelique at the mrt station then went down to dhoby ghaut? to plaza sin to meet shu and wedy. . . watched wimbleton. . . it was a damn nice movie la. .. shu was so excited tat she kept huggin her jacket. . . awwww. . .went to the arcade. . tried to play para para sakura. ..very funni. ..walked around and round. . . looked at badges. . . lyk the one about buyin the vowel. . .went to heeren to take neoprints!!! was doing all kinds of position. . . ate at taka and walked and walked and walked and ended up in kino. . . by tat time my leg was shitty. . . wedy was also very tired. . . lolz. . . both of us also went out yesterday. . . haha. ...

my sis bought for me a capricorn pendant from bits and pieces!!! omg. . . it is gorgeous and damn ex. . .. love her to bits. . .. lolzzz.. .

it is not tat i want to hate her la. . . but she is damn sticky. . . u cannot blame me cos the way she makes friends is very weird. .. i mean i dun even consider myself as her fren la. ..i normally not tat prejudice against ppl but for her it is an exception. . . doesn't mean tat we sometimes juz tok to her lyk a few words then it means tat we lyk hangin out with her la. .. even i am not tat thickskin to say tat i am frenz with everyone tat i juz chat with. . . .i tried to understand her feelings but sometimes she juz gets too overboard. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

I am free!!! no more exams to bind me down!!!

omg. . . i can't believe tat the exams are over la!!! feel so high now. . . and i thot tat it will nv end la. . . feel so free. . . lalala.. went out with daph,jo and jia today. . . my legs are so painful. . ..went to j8 to take neoprints first then walked around. . . so nice la the neoprint. .. going to keep it forever. . . lolz. . . abit crazy liao. ..ate at kfc. . . daph treated me, very weird rite??? managed to psycho into helpin jo eat the bread. . . haha. . . it was so fun la. ... . . then went to bukit batok? to westmall and walked lyk siao. . . . realli walked lyk siao. . . bought four comics and . .........wad else ah??? cannot remember. . .. erm. . .. i tink. . . .. . nuthing else??? dunno. . . lolz. . . went to delifrance. . . did u noe tat jo has a stomach of a cow??? daph slept there and she looked so cute and fuzzy. . . lolz. .. i am crazy. . ..tomorrow going out with shu all. ... now very lazy to type somemore. ..

omg!!! i can't believe tat thick skin cow!!! so bloody pissed. .... so thick skin. ... can't believe it la. .. not as if i want u to lyk me. .. can't u see tat i hate u??? stop stickin to my darlins la. ... creep!!! wtf. ... wad is her bloody prob??? no wonder i hate despos . . . can't believe. .. not a bit obvious tat she is infatuated with. ... ah. ...bloody pig

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i totally love my parents la. . . today spend alot of money. . . went to j8 to shop. . . bought 8 comics (the bloody price went up from 8 to nine) and six anime discx. . . d.n.angel part 2, prince of tennis part 2 - 5 and inuyasha part 1. . . noe tat bought alot but i controled myself already. . . or else would haf bought all the discs la. . . my sis bought two comics and three boa discs. . . think tat she has the whole collection of boa liao. . . i dun lyk boa. . . sigh. . . my taste and hers lyk the total opp la. . . dad bought me a new book shelf liao... when jo they all return me my books. . . got space to put liao. . . but then i tink stil dun haf enough space. . . tomorrow going out. . . jo dun allow me to wear school u. . . so trouble some. . . jo and daph going to wear skirts. . . i die also wun wear la. .. kill me i also prefer death over skirts. . . so trouble some.. .. .dad also bought maroon 5 cd. . . haha. .. yesterday he bought a mix of songs. . . got hoobastank, guns and roses etc. . . didn't noe tat my dad had taste. . . lolz. . .i dun haf to go out anymore. . . juz stay at home to watch disc!!! tezuka is so hot!!! haha. . . going spastic. .. haf to study finish chinese first. . . onli half way thru!!!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i tink i am going to abandon this blog for a while. . . my sis can use com liao. . . so bloody frustrating. . . she can use it for the whole day one without stoppin. . .beta pray tat she get grounded. . . haha i very mean. . . sianz ah. . . dunno wad to do except to study for chinese. . . my stupid cuz ask me not to study for chinese. . . if i fail, he is responsible for it. .. tryin to memorise the chinese words. . . left one more chinese paper then i am free. .. haf been restraining myself from buying comics and anime disc. . . haha. . . going to splurge on mon with daph and jo. . . splurge again with shu, angel and wedy on tue. . . splurge somemore on wed with jo and . . . dunno hu else. . . on thurs going to the lib with ivy, jo and zq i tink to read the whole day. . . i dun care anymore cos i am free!!! feel very happie now. . . going to empty my ten thousand over things. .. i dun care anymore if my bank account is empty. .. haha. . .omg, my sis juz switched to a channel showin a huge pizza!!! i love pizzas. . . the pizza looks delicious. . . but it is in new york!!! i swear tat after my o levels i am going to new york for a month!!!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

happie birthday brendan!!! good luck with jc

todays test lyk can dun take lyk tat. . . home ec and chinese literature. . . home ec was ok la. . . mohan invigilated our klas. . . was not used to it cos he is damn loud. . . chinese literature was lyk sleepin time. . . finished the paper in three mins!!! and then the rest of the 57 minutes. . . i went to sleep. . . by the time i woke up, my hands were pins and needles. . . so irritating. slept on my hand. . . after tat. . . went to buy bdae card. . . haha. . . wished brendan happie birthday and he was shocked lyk hell. . . haha. . . very fun. . . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i can't find my pencil set!!! wtf. . . tomorrow got art exam tomorrow!!! dunno whether to take art next year but then the marks will affect my overall. . . today quite happie. . . nv see tat ass. . . bloody tey. . . maths was lyk shit la. . . nearly cried. . . actually i and lei say tat we will cry together after the exam but nv. . . but durin recess i was damn sad la. . . kept on huggin daph. . . lyk teddy bear lyk tat. . . haha. . . she hates it when she is called a teddy bear. .. haha. . . lolz. . . english was ok la. . . didn't noe wad the passage was toking about. . . but nvm. . . still can do. .. dotz. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am so bloody pissed. . . my anger was juz fueled. . . i hate victor tey for the rest of my life. . . i even hate him more than clement tan. . . he is an ass. . . somehow he managed to get at least haf of the klas to lyk him. . . and he is not even good lookin!!! i hate him lyk shit. . . those ppl tat lyk him has no taste!!! i am also pissed with someone!!! how can u haf so poor judgement!!! i dun tink if u cared if i left!!! fine!!! i shall leave u!!! i dun give a damn anymore!!! dun bother talkin to me!!!i swear it!!!

the papers today were shitty. . . real shitty
chinese was ok. . . juz crapped alot but science is realli. . . ahhhhhhhh. . . finished it lyk an hour ahead of time. . . didn't noe how to do some questions. . . stayed back after school to study for maths. . . ended up crappin with lei and cc about art. . .maths . . . hit jo and strangled fang becos of tat asshole. . . very sorrie. . . now fang is pissed with me. . . sobsob. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

two down and nine to go??? todays paper was ok la. . . not say hard until wanna cry but still doable la. . . english functional writing was shit la. .. did not noe wad on earth i was writing. . . spend lyk an hour and a half writing my compo??? i was amazed tat i finished my letter so fast la. . . so spent the rest of the time crappin. . . wrote about a thousand and five hundred words??? chose the roses topic. . . didn't noe wad to write for the rest. . . geo was relatively ok. . . thank god i did not waste my time yesterday rewriting all my notes. . .could haf killed myself la if i did badly for it. . . sacrificed my left hand. . . wrote for twelve hours non stop of geo notes. .. going to sacrifice it again for science. . .

went to the lib with and jo and surprisingly. . . daph. haha. somehow me and jo managed to psycho her into going again tomorrow. . . dunno why when it comes to exams i am totally not stress on the day itself??? yesterday was lyk sneezing and burnin up??? haf to write my science note. . . didn't do much today. . . spent most of the time crappin and destressin and eatin. . . i realli need a break. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

finish with science notes at last. . . took a bloody long time. . . decided to take a break so went to look at the family dance pics tat jing put up . . . i looked so bloody spas!!!. . . was very fun. . . now haf to go back and study somemore. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i realli wanna die. . . i dunno wad to to. . . i haf no sense of belongin or direction anymore. . . no matter wad i do or say, it is always wrong and i am sinkin deeper into depression. . . todays lessons were crap. . . totally shit. . . did nothing but revise revise and revise. . . i cannot stand it anymore!!! i cannot get into the mood to study. . . i dun feel very good and very very guilty of something tat i should even be feelin guilty about!!! all i can say is tat i totally hate tym, if he didn't do it. . . i swear i would haf juz died. . . i dun even noe why i bothered. . . it juz makes me scare when the truth is found out. . .and i am bloody pissed off today. . . was totally not in a very good mood. . . i juz hate tat victor tey. . . bloody asshole!!! even lei hates him lor. . . i can't stand it anymore. . . i juz wanna leave

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world