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When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

super tired today. brain is not functioning.

wanted to pon today. i must always listen to my gut instinct on this. because. . . i only had chem lecture which is going thru test papers so it is redundant and econs tutorial. my gp teacher didn't come so from 9.40. . slack until 12.30 which is contact. then 1.20 slack until 4.30 for econs lecture. how bloody waste of time this is. waste time.

i have no idea what to blog today. just tired. bought subway for dinner. bought my sis present. ok, one part of her present. still have another part which depends on how well she treats me. XD

i don't know what to do about the situation.
mess it up or clean it?
ah. no, i will not go back to the past.
i didn't suffer the entire last week just for that to happen.

the sky outside is SO GLOOMY. super dark and threatening. i think it is going to rain very heavily.

not going to kiss and tell

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

urgh. i have been living in my own world for so long that i neglected my hw. like the entire weekend didn't really do anything. no wonder my results are like shit. urgh.

now doing the chem self test thing. i totally forgot about the gp essay outline that i have to do for TWO QN. 3 and 9. bleh. have to do it by today. then econs case study also. can just throw myself off the wall.

i shld stop thinking about things. i should stop assuming and just ask for the truth isn't it? instead of making myself more upset and paranoid. i wonder why am i torturing myself this way.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

just came back from family lunch. haha. the entire tan family was there. including my cousins and everyone. had like two tables?

my mum, sis and i were sharing table with my grandma, my uncle's family and another cousin. thank god i don't have to share table with him. thank god. was sitting between my mum and my cousin. haha. my teddybear cousin. his birthday on tues and my sis birthday on wed. so kind of like celebrate tgt? his age is half of mine which is 9. i feel OLD.




the rest of the picturess are with my uncle.

currently looking at pic in my computer. i kind of miss shanghai in a WEIRD WAY. and gosh, hair styles are just plain weird. my fringe looks weird now. kills self.

at least i didn't cut my hair short. it is just VERY LAYERED.

SLPY NOW. promised not to think today. -cuts off brain supply

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i cried despite promising not to
now i just feel numb

i will miss you very much dad. X'(

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

我的心很痛 仿佛快要停止的感觉
明明时间是可以弥补这一切
我原本应该很早就做出决定
但是因为害怕 因为不想失去你
所以会变成现在这样的结局
你不管是现在还是以后
都会是我喜欢的人

如果我说我已经不喜欢你
是不是可以留在你身边？
我的幼稚 我的脾气
你都默默地忍受着
回想起来 我感到十分抱歉
因为嫉妒 因为倔强 因为怕
所以会一次又一次地伤害你

我不在你身边
你可能感到十分轻松
这是我唯一能做的事情
虽然很想你 很想依赖你
可是我的感情以变成你的负担
如果你比较喜欢现在的情况
我不会怪你的
我只想看到你开心
所以你不用担心 我会离开

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

can i please be allowed to stay by your side?
even though you are better off without me

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

whatever i did last night, it was my own decision. thinking things through and that was the decision i made. although i still need some more time to find my own life. that was what i was doing throughout the week.

i didn't want to think about feelings. will it fade or not. to me, it isn't very impt just yet.

today is a sad day. i dun even want to think about any other thing.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

jiinshiuan says:
i think he's selfish

i can't help but to agree. but then the person we are talking about, please don't anyhow assume.

are you trying to tell me that you are happy with how things are now?
is that an indirect way of saying it?
cause i really don't know.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am tired of feeling tired.
does this even make sense?
i know it is something that only i can resolve
there is something bothering me
but i am keeping it inside.
i have no idea where you are, but
you are the only one that can hear me out
why is there such a big change?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i just woke up from my nap. today wasn't that good. realised that what i was doing the entire week. trying to just bury myself amongst friends to try to be happy. to mask the despair and uncertainty i felt. yet by doing so, i am going no where. i still cannot concentrate much on studies. i still cannot figure out my emotions. i still cannot know what i want to do with my life. it is easy to say ok, i will do psychology. but seeing results, you know it is already impossible. a BCDEU cannot bring you anywhere.

refused to eat anything in school today. i have no idea why. i just lost all my appetite today. i was drifting through lessons. pasting smiles on my face just to hide my emoness. no one figured it out today. was just feeling so tired emotionally recently. when i cannot figure anything out, it is easy to choose to escape.

was trying to sleep in the lib. listening to mp3 while sleeping was a mistake. an sad song came on. before i knew it, i was blinking back tears. lucky i was sitting alone. felt then that i needed a good cry. with everything happening so far. my dad is leaving for shanghai tomorrow. no one will understand the loneliness that i will feel. my results although the best of what i have attained in a major test is far from what i am capable of achieving yet i can't be bothered to do so. i am screwing up friendships in the weirdest way possible. yet i am too stubborn to make a first move.

next week is going to suck. cause a week has passed.

i should never try to cut my hair when i am in total sleepy mode. but i guess it isn't that bad. just very layered and now my fringe is until my nose there. i almost never cut my fringe type but i just wasn't thinking much today.

is it going to continue this way? until the path starts to differ? is this what you truly want? in that case, i really can do nothing but to respect your decision. cause right now, i am too tired and emotionally unstable to make any first move that i want.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

bloody hell.

super vexed and frustrated now. feel like crying right now. for wad? just because i cannot do hypothesis testing. just because i got stuck at one qn and cannot move on. just because no matter how i try to solve it, i just cannot find the answer.

damn annoyed with my parents because since 10pm, they have been asking me to slp. keep coming into the room and stuff and i am super annoyed. like super wth right now. they don't understand that with the time i have at home, i cannot complete my work and therefore i need to stay up late abit to complete it. damn it. stop disturbing please. it is just making me more vex.

i hate no idea what i am doing with hypo testing. it shld be done during june. i just kept procrastinating until i didn't do it. well done, now i am stuck without knowing how to do it and i hate copying answers down.

prelims is in 2 months. maybe even less than 8 weeks. my results so far? BCDEU. fantastic isn't it? failed chem. i hate no idea how i am going to turn that U to at least a C or a B by prelims. econs is the same case. the rest, i just don't know how i am going to do it.

it is easy for people to say study and work hard. when you work hard and no results come out, i really feel like giving up. i know it is one of the last obstacles i have to go thru. i know that results is all i must think about. but screw it. i really don't feel like caring.

my jc1 basics are all screwed over. i feel like running away. i feel like ignoring the entire bloody world out there and just hide in my room. i dun even want to mug anymore. it is just making me more upset. i have been pushing aside my feelings just to give ppl what they want and i myself am miserable. keep telling myself that if i can do it for 4 days, as long as i pass the one week mark, it will be easier to go through it. but i feel like i am breaking alr.

i really dun want to lose things that i feel are impt to me
but i am really losing it all.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

sueanne is a happy girl. haha

was kind of annoyed at first cause i just came home and my hair wasn't dry and i was hurried to change and dress cause we suddenly was going to serangoon country club for dinner and i didn't have time to dress properly and stuff. but one this is good, my hair didn't suck.

so my dad and mum went off to use the sauna there while my sis bugged me to play pool with her. i have no sense of aim nor balance. yes. so end up, had to play with her. first round, she naturally won since i was noobish. but 2nd game, my aiming improved like mad and i was hitting the balls in so i won the 2nd game. 3rd game was playing 9 balls so. . . she won cause she was being so annoying! she kept trapping the white ball. haha.

so we went to walk to the restaurant and my mum was there. ahh. ok, wad i ate. escargots. SNAILS. yes. i was never happier to eat snails then. then lobster bisque with cognac. then panfried codfish!!! ahh. i love codfish. then the dessert which i secretly ordered was a choco torte i think. it is something like the soffiato that yiwen and i ate. the chocolate just oozes out and it is hot! and there is vanilla ice cream. ok. that is a sin. but i swear that it will be better than sex or wadeva. chocolate is good.

was chatting with my parents and it went SUPER FUNNY. cause my parents have to go to this wedding dinner at sentosa beach and my mum was like saying that they didn't know how to plan the wedding and stuff. so i was asking them

me: so, if you were to plan my wedding, where will you put it?
dad: void deck
mum: snickers
me: ok. i go marry a malay then can get married in the void deck.
dad: who say! you can marry a chinese and get married in the void deck.
me: no no, you wanted your void deck wedding wad.

my dad is a racist. haha. if i ever marry a malay/indian, he will disown me. i swear. lol. void deck. gosh. i no comments about that.

ah. super happy about the dessert. sin on a sin. it is good.



going to be abit emoish and stuff tml. can't be helped. my dad going back shanghai on saturday and time passes so fast. i feel like crying. i tink i will cry on saturday.

ironic. the first time he left, it was also a saturday. but at least i could call someone to cry to.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

back at home. currently slpy now.

sch was nothing much. econs was rather tense cause ms heng was reminding us about how many days we left for prelims and i am like die die die. chem lecture was horrible cause we had to sit on the floor. lt5 sucks.

break was ok. was talking to daph AGAIN. she is now my break and lunch partner. haha. trying to get some details out of her. DENG is paranoid. tralala.

gp wasn't that bad. except my aq was being read in the class. zzz. and mrs nair paused like thrice to figure out the words and after that started talking about handwriting but she added that my handwriting wasn't bad. rawr. but i kind of like gp. it is the onli sub that i have confidence of passing .

free period was with yiwenwen and gracie pooh. haha. i love my thursdays. physics lesson wasn't so bad. xinglong is mean as usual. and if i were to rape someone, the first one i would rape is shalom. lol. kidding.

then pe was frisbee time. was playing passing with gracie pooh and ailin. frisbee doesn't MAKE any sense. seriously. it is a stupid game. mr daniel lee is leaving nj. sob. he is actually very nice. he was trying to rmb my name and first he called me audrey, then si xuan then finally sueanne. haha.

dad fetched me home. super slpy now.

shall do this relationship quiz. nothing much happen today. DAY 4!

1. do you like anyone now?
i dunno.

2. have you held hands with someone of the opp sex before?
yeah

3. danced with?
mass dance???

4. would you marry someone of lower financial background than you?
yes. just that, some people don't see it that way

5. if you like someone, what is the first thing you will like?
his smile. dimples also work

6. how many close frens do you think you have?
flo, jiin, daph my closest then the rest also quite

7. how many people have you liked in your entire life?
guys? 3 so far. not adding anymore for this year

8. do you prefer to be dominant or submissive in the r.s?
dominant of course, but it doesn't seem to be that way

9. what is the nicest thing a guy has done for you?
listen to me cry on the phone at 2am till 4am. thanks jun

10. how would you like to be proposed?
i like surprises. that is all.

lol. nothing to do therefore that explains that quiz. lame.

i don't want to get used to this
i want the past back
but it won't help any of us this way
why must it be me to always make the first move?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

3rd day,

drained. utterly drained.
just feeling tired all over
even the nap didn't help
heading for a breakdown soon
i just need time to think
but i am not thinking at all
i have never felt so helpless
and so not in control before
i hate it

tell me i'm the only one

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

went to school today feeling abit lethargic again. just very slpy and doesn't help when i have the entire day's lesson ahead.

gc was nothing much. was trying to do hypo testing with no avail. borrowed yiwenwen's mp3 cause had the urge to listen to chinese songs and chinese songs make me emo. i love xiao xiao by rong zu er and yue ya wan by F.I.R. ahh.

then maths lesson, mr chee was so mean to start on hypo testing without giving back papers. maybe he knew that when we get back the papers, we wouldn't listen to him. anyway, kind of got the gist of hypo testing. a summary of it is, mathematicians had nothing better to do to decide that they want to prove things which are actually correct to be wrong. and try to do so. got back maths paper. disappointed. damn disappointed. expected a B the least. but got like C? two marks to a B and guess wad? i got 5 marks of careless mistake. but at least, i won the bet with patrick! dimsum!

maths was a total disappointment. then had to go maths lecture which i wasn't listening. was sitting with eunice and yiwen plus computing ppl and all. then aidan scared the crap out of me sara and eunice. firstly, he sent a msg to sara and it was like, we didn't see him taking his hp at all. so sara replied his msg and she got a reply which seemed logical. and he still didn't touch his hp. he tried it on eunice and on me. ah. so scary. then he called sara during the lecture and guess wad? sara can hear him talking thru the phone but aidan wasn't holding a phone at all.

was msging audrey during maths lect due to boredom. haha. then went for break and ponned pe. didn' bother to go down. start ponning away. but ms tan quite strict one. went to lib to do econs essay outline then uncle trick was there! dimsum!

then was about to go chem when i realised that my hp was missing. like i searched thru my bag, i went lib to find, went canteen and still don't have. the worst thing is that i diverted the calls to my 2nd hp so calling won't help. yun and i were like 20 minutes late for chem lesson cause i was too busy trying to find my phone but to no avail.

was kind of occupied during chem and econs thinking about the phone. cause contacts nvm. i can still can get them plus all the impt numbers of frens, all i rmb so i dun use the phonebook to msg much. but it was my inbox that worried me. ahh.

usarin and yun were super nice to try to call my hp and help me find. then i went lib after lesson to try to find it again while they went canteen. when i went canteen, lucky jim said that someone found my phone and was going to the general office with it. zz. before that i was at general office and seriously, the lady there is such a bitch. tell her if got place if got lost items and she was like shouting across the office if anyone found a hp and like say in a sarcastic voice that if ppl find then will bring. wdv.

lucky albert found it. ah. super happy and was like so scared to leave my hp. before that called my dad to terminate the phone but lucky he didn't do so but i got a scolding. zz. was with deng while he ate lunch then was with daph. ah. i got nothing to say.

then aidan was playing phone sms thing with shalom. i have no idea how he does it cause i have gotten like 5 smses from him and i still dun have any idea how he does that. then shalom was super shocked. haha.

went for physics then got back physics paper. urgh. another disappointment. paper 2 totally pulled my entire marks down. with mcq, i got like a secure B. then with paper 2, downgrade to a C?! zz. the entire time was going thru physics.

after sch, was sitting with xinglong and talking while waiting for him to finish food. took 852 tgt. lol. his observations very funny but he is a logical guy. really admire the way he thinks and his studies. i mean he got like AAAAB for 3 H2s and 2 H1s? he is the only guy in the entire J2 cohort of H2 bio to get an A. really peifu him.

then dad fetched from bus stop and again started commenting on my carelessness. ah. totally forgot that if i lost anything cannot tell him or he will nag.

have to do hypo finish. then must brush up GP.

this time comment test wasn't as bad as last year's with the SUUUD but it isn't any better. i mean, i didn't study much. i was playing like crazy. last minute work nearly killed me. in the end. got like CCDEU. U is for bloody chem which i am so pissed off. with mcq and last qn. alr 20 marks! wad the hell was i doing in front. ah. pissed.

shall go do abit of work and then slp. i am very slpy.

moody these few days. sian.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

if all is true.
i guess there is no need for conversation anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

first day of school sucked as per normal.

was super slpy when i woke up. chatted with theodore until 1am online. sleepy. lucky my dad fetched me to school. nearly threw away the radio in the car. was listening to 90.5 fm and it was playing the first song 'can't get you out of my head'. the 2nd song was 'fool if you think it is over'. and i was like zzz. just annoyed.

reached sch. teddy was there alr. was trying to read thru econs. then swathi, yiwen, joson, sc all came. haha. during assembly, i was having this super funny convo with sara. it went like that.

sara: you know he was telling me things that i didn't want to know
me: seriously?
sara: yes! i had to take bus with him for one hour to church.
me: GOSH. I PITY YOU
sara: yea. and he was asking me 'do all girls think about marriage?'
me: OMG
sara: then i was like 'what?!' and he said 'yes, do girls think about marriage all the time? cause she was talking to me about marriage.'
me: seriously? she did that? doesn't look like her
sara: yea. and all along we thot that he liked her more than she liked him. . .etc

lol. was laughing like mad. then after that was chem lecture which had chem test. i can't rmb a single thing. and the table was so small. it was bothering me than the paper itself. urgh.

after that was econs. got back econs paper. urgh. case study just pulled everything down. seriously just whack. ahhh. but at least didn't fail. haha. then after that was gp. . . got back gp paper. u want to know what is irony? i got 7 marks for my aq which i didn't know how to do. for my vocab. zero. bleh. but passed my gp. expected to pass. must work harder.

after that, ate with yun then went lib to mug econs. god. saw my eyecandy in lib and could hardly study.

then was mugging and mugging until civics i tink. urgh. chem is SO BAD. damn damn bad. like can't believe my eyes. urgh. was practically disturbing joson like mad. super funny.

after sch was at lib mugging but it was flooded with j1s. was msing uncle trick. haha. went to canteen to disturb him. i want to disown my junior alr. make me walk with him to his exam venue which is like tc block? ah.

return to canteen to talk to daph. haha. was trying to read econs but then gave up. daph was like got secret to share so went to one side of the canteen to talk. after that, i also wanted to say stuff to went to raintree to talk. raintree is a super nice place to share stuff cause it is quiet and the atmosphere is nice.

ah. i ended up word vomit to daph. ah. we ended up talking from 2 something all the way to near 4? haha. my econs was so screwed.

yeah. sat for the paper and it was screwed. got abit of gastric pain today. wasn't in the mood to talk except with ppl that i was close to. ah. alot of stuff on my mind right now.

slpy. just now played piano for like 1 1/2 hours. just random playing. was playing alot of songs and i even played a christmas one. so random.

slpy now. dun wish to think about anything.

i tried to talk to him. but then when i asked him what was wrong, he didn't say anything. just don't know what i can do now. i mean, it is obvious from his face, the way he move, the way he talk that something was bothering him. shall just wait for him to say it.

with this issue at hand. i can't be bothered with anything else right now.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

lol. chatting with teddy is the most interesting thing i have done today. ah. the convo is super funny. and totally got him to admit stuff. ah. i won an argument.

i shld totally get to slp now.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

should i feel happy now or just plain puzzled?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
betrayed? i never really acted positively towards betrayals. so if i am ever betrayed, i will steal all his money, make him impotent and then make him swear that he did all of it himself.

2. If you can have dreams come true, what would they be?
haha. i only want one dream to come true. i have dreamed of it literally also.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
with sand, water, wind, and surrounded by people i love i guess. don't have to be totally lavish or expensive. i am so not the gown and flowers and million of dining tables girl.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
in a way, yes. there is no absolute future for anyone. there is a levels. there is universities to consider. for now, i may want to major in psychology and yet, how sure am i?

5. What’s your ideal lover like?
ah. super scared to fill in this part cause reality often deviates from ideal
ok. here it goes.
he must be tall. at least 15 cm taller. so like 180+. must be charming and must be able to engage in conversation. i will never like someone that bores me. my parents must like him. brown hair and deep grey green eyes. or else can be dark brown hair and brown eyes. must have a toned body. must be caring and sensitive. don't want a guy that is totally in love with suaning ppl and totally sarcastic. must be able to put up with my randomness and random moods. able to tell what i am thinking off before i even say anything. shld be spontaneous and romantic. know how to flirt abit. a guy who knows a girl's heart never hurt anyone. must have good dress sense. cause seeing the guys around me, i really suspect their dress sense aside from jim of course. must have a killer smile and dimples. ah. i am really in love with smiles. side way smile. and of course, must love me whole heartedly.
i tink i can shoot myself for having such dreams.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both i guess. the fact you can love someone proves that you have a heart and being loved by someone rocks. who doesn't want to be loved?

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
who knows. depends on who is the person. i guess. and sometimes it may not be waiting. it is just that the feeling haven fade yet. i guess until another person comes along and sweep me off my feet.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
this sounds damn familiar. i guess give up? unless want to be totally drama and say as long as he is not married i still have a chance etc.

9. Is there anything that’s made you unhappy these days?
yes. unhappy would be an understatement. try lies

10. Is being tagged fun?
not realli.

11. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
hopefully with a career that i don't have. with the person i love and married. 28 is quite old already.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
my dad, my mum, my sis. my besties. my buddies. those ppl that i bother to keep in contact or chat with.

13. Would you rather be single and; rich or married but poor?
married but poor. if i am happy, who cares about money.

14. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
wake up? roll over and start cursing that i have to wake up

15. Would you give it all in a relationship?
perhaps. what is give it all? i mean i can give in my heart and soul but depends if the person is willing to accept it and whether that person is even worth it.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
neither. the fact that i can like two ppl simultaneously proves that i don't like one enuff not to like another. so i won't pick any.

17. What type of friends do you like?
friends that i can count on. that understand what i am going thru and who ask me simple qns to show that they care. who bother getting angry about stuff abo

18. What type of friends do you dislike?
backstabbers. i made the mistake of believing in three of them in sec 3. turns out to be fatal.

ok. blogged finish about the qn.
kind of bored right now.
going to kill nicholas. he randomly sent me an sms. it is a tongue twister. it goes like this ' sally picks seashell, sueanne picks snail shells.

glares.

but then i am happy. cause FINALLY. you appeared.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

chatting with teddy now. ahh. just sort of talking about nj life and how ppl are just on a one mind track. the word is inflexible i think.

trying to mug chem but nothing goes in. it is not that i am distracted. it is just that, the feeling is just sian.

went for lunch with neighbours just now at bukit timah. nothing much actually. except that i didn't know that their eldest son is in ns already. 22? dunno. can't be bothered. lunch was a boring affair that i wanted to go home quickly.

drove past njc. urgh. i dread sch reopening and having to go back to sch. i hate it. i hate the uniform. i hate the subjects. i hate tests. i hate stepping into the school grounds. and i don't want to count down to my days there cause it means that a levels are coming up..

urgh. haven touched econs. that one is already confirm fail although it is micro. i am so going to mix micro and macro up and then get screwed all over.

i wonder something now.

humans are often fickle creatures. they often want things that people have. or things that they cannot have and then persist in having it. then when they have it, they will just leave it aside because the joy comes from obtaining it and not from having it. sadly, i think i am this sort of person.

wanting something that you cannot have sucks. it is a spoilt way of thinking. cause you naturally cannot have everything in this world.

one thing has changed. now i only want one thing. but even i know that it cannot be mine. no matter how long it takes. urgh. it is elluding me.

i just want. . . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

rawr. still studying chem. group 2. still have group 7, and transition elements to touch. and econs of 8 chaps to read. die.

super sleepy now though. tml have to watch up to go lunch. jap food but my dad invited the opp neighbours to go along. sianz.

was chatting with deng, patrick, clement and nicholas online. haha. now only left nicholas but that guy is watching anime. when his blocks are tomorrow. and he say he watching due to exam stress. since when has he ever have exam stress?!

the way nicholas introduces anime in a way, ppl will never be tempted to watch
Why yer name so long? says:
u should watch EF
Why yer name so long? says:
fking emo
Why yer name so long? says:
u sure like
Why yer name so long? says:
and the girl's f-ed u
Why yer name so long? says:
up
Why yer name so long? says:
possessive like you

[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
u keep saying boring
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
and uninteresting
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
like tat
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
how are u going to encourage me to watch?
Why yer name so long? says:
coz
Why yer name so long? says:
it doesnt suits me
Why yer name so long? says:
i'll think that the guy's a bastard

after a while:
Why yer name so long? says:
YES
Why yer name so long? says:
I WATCH WIKI LIAO
Why yer name so long? says:
HIRO WILL BE WITH MIYAKO
Why yer name so long? says:
KEI THAT ASSHOLE
Why yer name so long? says:
TOTALLY YOU LA
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
not my fault
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
and did u just now say that the girl was LIKE ME?
Why yer name so long? says:
er
Why yer name so long? says:
ya
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
but she is the main cast
[SueN][lily] didn't want to wake up to find that i was falling so fast says:
lol
Why yer name so long? says:
ya
Why yer name so long? says:
but she got noob bf
Why yer name so long? says:
in my opinoin

note the way he suans ppl while encourages them to watch the anime. FLO! if you are reading this, please learn this art of suaning. then you won't be so easily niaoed by him already.

lol. when i free then i go watch the anime. i doubt the girl is like me cause number one, i dun have a bf. number 2, even if i have, he won't be a bastard and won't be a noob. urgh. nicholas is totally dissing my taste.

easier to type nicholas than to type kae xiang. anyway, i prefer english names to chinese names. dunno why.

urgh, cannot go back to mugging.

do i really have to wait until monday?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

曖昧讓人變得貪心

直到等待失去意義

無奈我和你　寫不出結局

放遺憾的美麗　停在這裡

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

please don't make me change my mind
no matter what
don't dissuade me.
cause no matter what you do
my mind won't change
yet my heart will be torn bit by bit

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

super tired and slpy now

another downside of my dad being back is that i have to wake up early. at 10am. considering that i slept at 2 plus yesterday. i am seriously lack of slp.

went to eat prata. whee. but then i tink due to me not having habit of eating breakfast , didn't realli eat much. ate one mushroom cheese then the extra one that i ordered, i just gave my dad. full.

doing some chem notes now. inorganic chem sucks. i know it is making use of common sense but seriously, bleh. econs haven read yet. die. screwed and die. need to read thru. tml no time to do so somemore.

tired of playing around abit. flirting isn't really something that you can do everyday. it gets boring. furthermore, what on earth is flirting? is it wrong if you like someone and you still flirt around? maybe not. since you are not tied down to anything but your heart.

can i get by a week without caring and everything? i guess i can.

i can lie to myself that i don't feel anything for you at all.
for a week i can.
after all, i may have been lying all along.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

just finished chem! god. so slpy now.
tml shall finish physics and revise for chem and econs.

i hope i do not regret it.
the decision that i made on thurs
i really have no back down from it
yet it seem as though i did.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

sueanne is a happy girl.

my dad is back! ahh. so happy.

reached home and was drying my hair like crazy cos my mum was driving both of us to airport. went terminal 3. reached there, the luggage haven come yet so we walked to the other end to get ice cream from macs.

then even finish ice cream also haven come yet. then my mum ask me to hide so that surprise my dad. i thot they were going to walk off without me! haha. whee. i love my dad. i miss him driving me around already.

yeah, the moment he touched down already, i was being spoilt. my mum was saying that shldn't bring me along to airport cause she won't be able to sit in front. haha. how true.

was rummaging thru his luggage. he bought some dvds back but i doubt i have the time to watch. ah. i am so happy. tml going to eat prata! i wanna eat dimsum.

now doing chem in my room. trying to finish more of my hw first. whee. panicking with yiwenwen online now due to our lack of hw doing and studying. chem test die.

but my dad come back also. . . he koping my laptop! plus cause my room com is abit lagging so i use my laptop for quite a long time now. then he kope it! so abit lag. then my mum watches her korean shows in their room. now my dad slping, she migrated to MY ROOM. ahh. sometimes have tv in my room not so good. but computer not that bad cos i still have this com, the other room com and if both die, i can either take back my lappy or take my sis one. but that will be for drastic measures.

happy my dad back!

but i will miss you for next week.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

today was a tiring and productive day i guess. ah. tired.

went to mug at bugis with boon jin and deng today. naturally, i was late. but by five minutes only. but being late has its benefits. don't have to rush in for seats. was doing chem and chem and chem and chem. saw nice sandra brown books.

nothing much to blog about mugging except chem sucks. boon jin and deng were horny. boon jin was reading ROMANCE BOOKS. deng got this book with this guy's surname starting with LUST---- .

saw this couple pdaing in the lib. super gross. i didn't see anything but according to bj and deng, duno what on earth they were doing.

ate kfc for lunch. guys are lousy for finding seats. deng got cheated from the meal. haha. student meal? 2 dollars gone. went back to mug again. i finished chem and left about 5 qn? finished alr. suddenly have chem test on monday. bonding and inorganic chem. ah.

i tink the ppl in the lib were happy when we left cause we were quite noisy. ok. the other two were noisy and i was trying to keep them quiet. sigh.

i feel like hecking chem and econs only for monday. cause my dad coming back today and ah. i doubt i have time to study for those subs. this sucks.

need to finish physics as well. no other hw. maths just heck. ahh. wad kind of attitude is this?

we left lib at 6.05 then peied deng to buy prata. he got cheated again. i wonder why. hmm.

i took mrt down to orchard and felt so cheated cause i thot they will do something to my ear and end up only checking then can go off. urgh.

my mum is super super silly. was eating dinner with her today and she was like:
mom : wa. why i keep seeing you dress so nicely?
me: only clothes wad
mom: no wad. later alot of guys chase after you
me: don't have la. they all younger than me
mom: how about that XXX?
me: younger than me by XXX months
mom: but then he look older leh
me: really? -starts smiling and thinking that i am young-
mom: cause you very childish
me: T.T

thanks alot mom. i feel alot better.

shall go and bathe now. need to wash hair and do alot of stuff.

thanks to nicholas and flo who msg me to ask me how i was. feeling alot better now already. THANKS. LOVE YOU GUYS.

(edit)
after bathing

me: why is she crying?
-meaning the korean girl on tv
mum: because she knows that that man is her father
me: then why are YOU crying?
mum: because i know that man doesn't know that she is the daughter
me: diaoz

silly. ahh. good mood. whee.
but i wonder how long will it last

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my horoscope:
saving an insecure person's feelings is exhausting. try to avoid them all together

i wonder it this advising me or advising someone about me?

nicholas lied. no wait. he didn't lie. he said that i shld slp yet i didn't want to dream. he said i wouldn't dream or at least the dream would be good. turns out, i could hardly dream cause i could hardly slp.

not because i didn't try. but because i kept waking up.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

thanks to clement for chatting with me and distracting me and for saying that he will give me a listening ear. thanks for offering to talk with me on the phone but i felt weird doing so so i gave it a miss.

thanks to deng for putting up with my indecisiveness and my selfishness. and for thinking about my feelings first. sometimes i feel like i don't deserve you caring but you still did anyway. nearly ps u but then my conscience didn't allow me to do so.

and most of all, thanks to nicholas. like random chat with you and started to emo. i guess you were pretty surprised. thanks for not breaking out into lameness as you always due since you know that i wasn't very happy. thanks for hearing me out and then trying to explain both side of the story to make me understand.

feeling slightly better although numb rite now. just plain numb. thanks to three wonderful guys for helping me think things through and although some may not even know what happen like clement, they just tried their best.

thanks.

when hurt comes before anger. the only thing one would feel is pain.
and when the one you want to call most isn't there
you just feel left alone

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

not blogging here anymore. unless i feel the need to.
will be at livejournal.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

procrastinating again. haven touched hw. been reading book.
sandra brown's 'playing dirty' the title already sounds so suggestive?
actually it is not. haha.

shall complete my work when i am done with the book so means 4?
then can work until at night. tralala.
saturday shld complete everything. tml is for reading micro econs.
sleepy now.

i am tired about everything.
shouldn't have pierced my ear a 2nd time. it is troublesome.
actually not very but it itches cause it is healing.
plus when you finally can take the earring out, it is going to be a bitch cause it hurts.
yeah. self mutilation comes in all forms.
the pen knife one hurts the most i guess?

when do you believe someone when he says that he likes you. naturally, i will be super cynical about it. that due to lack of self esteem but rather, how well does the person know me enough to say that? first reaction is the freeze. second reaction is to find some excuse to reject. simple isn't it?

dance with me on a meadow filled with flowers
beneath a sky filled with stars

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

urgh. i am annoyed. thoroughly annoyed today. wearing hard lens now since i was neglecting it poorly for such a long time. maybe because i was ignoring it that is why it is damn uncomfortable now. you know how contacts are suppose to make your eyes look big and stuff. no. hard lens is so uncomfortable that my eye size is being reduced. it looks plain weird.

dreamt TWO DREAMS YEST. they say if you rmb your dream, it won't come true. urgh. i wish one of them would come true. the first one. it was like FINALLY. after waiting so long that kind of thing. then awakening to reality and going URGH. the 2nd dream was about me waking up and my earrings were all gone and it sucked cause my 2nd piercing was not ready etc etc. pain etc etc.

two dreams. totally unconnected. can cry because of my first dream. something which i wanted to happen for a long time. waking up to reality was a total kill joy.

it is 12 and i haven started on work yet. die. i knew i will be procrastinating.

work to do
-physics section B. 3 section A
-chemisty organic chem
-maths - hc paper? cannot rmb.
- hypothesis testing
- finish up transition elements tutorial

urgh. so much. i wonder if i can finish by today. shld b able to right?

the four things that my mum bought from osim was delivered today. one massage chair. one surf thing. one leg massager. and another one thing which i have no idea. i am betting that all these are white elephants.

when flowers start to fade
the tree withers in vain
people walking around in circles
not knowing that there is pain

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ok. this is extremely random.

I WANNA EAT DIMSUM! ahh. sudden craving for dimsum. like CHINESE FOOD. ok this is weird. i don't normally wanna eat chinese food. but then. . . chatting with yiwenwen now. she say river city restaurant have tim sum buffet. ah. wanna go.

ok, when my dad comes back on fri. i going to ask him to bring me eat dimsum. saturday? i wanna eat. so random.

i also want jap food. but since we are already to HANABI on sunday to eat jap buffet. ah.

holidays are ending in about 4 days? this is sad. still have micro econs to mug. and finish hw. i am just happy that i completed by gp hw. hypothesis testing not done. i just realised that. too focus on all the prelim papers that i totally neglected that. chem not finished. sad.

ok. hols is totally screwing up my biological clock. slp late, wake up late. slp late wake up EARLY. that part sucks. skipping breakfast. eat lunch. skip breakfast and lunch! and eat dinner. had gastric attack. afternoon naps like crazy. ah.

i feel round and lazy. ahh. exercise. shopping is a form of exercise. seriously, it is tiring. and your feet will hurt if you are dumb enough to wear heels. not me.

chem is like. i feel like postponing it and doing it tml. but then i know i will procrastinate. and do maths or physics tml. i need to complete my hw badly. my date due is by fri. cos daddy coming back and i will totally neglect everything until next sat.

sometimes i hope that the feeling fades
sometimes i hope that the feeling stays
i wonder which is stronger

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

back! from movie date with sista.

had to wake her up then we left at 12. bought the movie tickets for the show at 1.10. i think 6 dollars for student price is much much worth it. happy that there is a cathay near my house.

went to watch GET SMART. but before that, it was time for brunch. ah. SUBWAY. wanted to go food junction but it was so crowded. at least subway we managed to get a seat. my sis did the ordering. we shared a foot long since it was cheaper. but ah. my sis ordered subway club i think and i have no idea what extra thing she added inside but it is yummy. i love subway. plus the cookie!

then went into the cinema which was freezing. freezing cold. no batman trailer too. but had the several nice trailers such as 'mama mia' and 'it's a boy girl thing' then the movie started.

it is not bad. haha. worth watching. another comedy. ah. two comedies in two days. haha. feeling happy. ahh. anne hathaway is super pretty and the rock which is dwayne johnson is super hot. i watched him in the game plan and he is hot hot. haha.




and gosh. i wanna watch 'penelope'. ok. i don't really know what that movie is about but then. . . JAMES MCAVOY. i loved him in 'becoming jane' and then he acted in 'atonement'. what is there no to like about him? although he is not very tall like 1.70? but he is good looking. blue green eyes. melts. but he is married to a woman who is not very famous and like 9 years his senior. bleh.

haha. i have tons of movies which i want to watch next. like 'it is a boy girl thing', 'mama mia', penelope etc.

my sis ditched me cause she going to watch ZOHAN with stacey at 7pm and she doesn't want to go home. two movies in a day. she watched more movies than me. yest she went to watch the hulk. ah.

shall go and blow dry my hair and think of things to do. boo.

oh yeah, wore my new heels today which were higher than normal and more painful. ouch. sob. not very good for the legs. but it makes me like 8 cm taller so i look 1.73? not very sure. haha

baby where are you?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

woke up. mum is working from home.
ah. so i am quite unsure about my plans with my sis since that piggy is still sleeping.
i heart subway cookies. how how?

feeling pretty happy today. a huge change from two days ago when i realise that that person is never going to be around anymore so. . . right now, i am in a 'i wanna see if i can live a life without you' mode. haha. deng came me that phrase when he is crazy over a SPORE drama. that drama probably sucks cause it is produced by spore actors. and spore actors can't act.

too bad i guess. i hardly touched any hw yest except chem. ah. i feel so guilty.

you know what is ironic? when i wanna chat. someone is busy watching tv. and then when that someone wants to chat. yest, i am finally beginning to watch tv. yup. pretty much ironic. and when i finish show and wanna chat, that person logs OFFLINE. ahhh. this is dumb.

i want a charm bracelet. badly badly badly. but you know, it is more intimate for a guy to buy a girl an anklet rather tha a bracelet. i have no idea why but it is just seem that way. like it is closer to buy a pair of earrings rather than a necklace. ok, i draw a line at lingerie.

i miss my. . . .bed?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

on a side note. cannot laugh at ppl.

i starting to feel abit of gastric pains. god. lucky ate the cheese fries at nebo. didn't want to eat then but someone was glaring at me. >.< so must say thanks? cause the pain would be lesser?

tml going out with sista. pray that don't have gastric pain since i will probably eat like around noon.

pls do not say that i deserve it.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

guys which are IT IDIOTS. shld just either drop dead, or pick up IT skills.
haha. i find guys which have IT skills lousier than mine, not guys.
yup. sad to say, i don't think much of them.
this post is because, clement asked me how to convert a gif file to a jpeg.
and deng doesn't know how to do the template of his blog.
ah. i wonder how many guys can solve these two problems.

haha. too bad. sad life.

p.s deng! if you can find another IT person. be my guest. i wonder how many would help you though. HAHA.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ok. back from movie outings. tralala.

slept at 11 woke up at 1 plus then chatted with deng online. my biological clock is so screwed today. didn't want to wake up. check the online seats on cathay and then head down to amk hub to buy ticks just in case. my poor usarin!

woman! take care la. don't think of me so much until you never see where you looking! don't walk too much la. if want, i ask edward to carry you. smiles.

bought four tickets then went down to look for shoe when STUPID BOON JIN msg to say need 5 tickets instead. so had to go all the way up and sacrifice my shoe shopping. X(

lucky could change the ticket but had to switch to a later timing show. then you know in dramas where the guy and the girl take escalator in diff directions? when i was going down, boon jin, denny and brendan was going up. lol. drama.

had plenty of time to kill cos SOMEONE SAY MEET AT 2.30. shall not mention the someone. then brendan's fren came to join us. went to ntuc to buy chips and end up buying them at cheers. urgh. amk hub is lousy for playing cards. OH YEAH, i just remembered that mos burger outside can play.ahhh.

so we went to nebo for a while to eat. my lunch is cheese fries. boon jin's hp is gay. super gay. it is super slim and for a girl, normally small things would look cute. but for a guy. . . lets just leave it at gay. we had to go to cinema early cos a batman fanatic wanted to watch trailer. went into cinema and guess wad? even star wars showed the trailer. batman? no such thing XDDD

the panda is super cute. ah. i realise that i have a lousy sense of humour. although the movie is nice and funny. . . i dun laugh until ppl laugh then i realise that it is funny. slow. i can read all the calvin and hobbs comics in the world and not laugh. only smile. yeah, my sis has every book so that theory has been proven.

ahh. panda. smiles.

after the movie, went down then the guys left for the mrt station. i went shopping! i love shoe shopping. seriously. was in need of a need shoe. ok, i know i bought new heels like two weeks ago but these are flats. ah. super happy.

then darr came. we didn't do much except walk around and talk. yeah. just talking about the person who sort of isn't my close fren anymore and i was abit emoish over it. the outing today made me realise how different he was. like he would still hang around to pei me walk until late. maybe because his parents are not strict, i don't know but then it just made me realise how much i missed him being around.

darr! how how? haha. even he has no solution.

end up buying a scoop of anderson ice cream and walking home from amk hub. i only walk home when i am in need to think. seriously regret not saying somethings that i should have said. ah. time won't change back.

ok, i did my finances. and i think some ppl are going to scream. not my parents. more like bj. zzz. since i went out with my sis like last thurs. so like from thurs, fri, sat, sun, mon, tues and counting everything today, i spent about 425.06 dollars in total. ok. my monthly allowance is like give and take 300? my budget is in deficit. god. and it is not even a week yet and TML I AM GOING OUT SOMEMORE WITH MY SIS. ahh. can someone scold me?

i need to talk about it. i need someone to talk about what happened yest. how did a frenship that was so close turn out to be like this. and i know this time, that for a month of not talking, he is not going to hang out with me. not like last time.

please don't leave me alone. i have been trying to occupy myself. with going out. with work. i just don't want to think anymore.
this sucks.

no dinner tonite. dun feel like eating. it is killing my appetite already.

baby will you understand?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ok. i only had like five hours of sleep? no wait. less than that. i slept at 2am this morn and woke up at 6.45am. why do i have to wake up so early, some of you may ask. it is because i have GP HW OVERDUE. like suppose to hand in yest my 7th hw, i haven even handed in the first one.

yeah, some of you may know that i was rushing out hw since sunday. ok. deng would be super clear of that. i was rushing out hw since sunday till 1 am, go bishan lib yest to rush it out and finished it at 2am this morning. yeah. my gp hw consists of 4 COMPRES and 4 ESSAYS. and i completed all within two days. so last minute work really works but quality is bad and you get horridly slp deprived.

left the house at 7.05. was super unhappy that i had to go back school just to hand in work. travelled and reached sch at 7.35. walked in and put hw in tray and walked out at 7.40. waited for bus which arrived at 7.46. reached home at 8.15 and my mum haven even left for work yet. travelling is almost an hour and ten minutes. stayed in school for less than 5. yeah, my opportunity cost now is so high.

wanted to go back to slp but i didn't want to plop onto my bed before bathing so i went to bathe and now, i am wide awake but feeling sleepy.

replied my dad's email. ah. the contents of the email are super funny. doing chem now. finished the other SIMPLE worksheet but haven done the revision exercise for organic chem.zz. shld have done this first since haoyun say the other one was pointless to do. eh.

feel like slping. ah. being awake so early is USELESS. no one is online. but it is good to do work but i detest being a workaholic. and i am a nite worker so morning i tend to slack. haha. YES I MUG AT NITE SECRETLY. too bad. not many ppl know this fact.

ah. i am addicted to my soap. seriously, raspberry soap from body soap. smells damn nice. ah. feeling happy now. booo.

oh yeah. regarding the pain of piercing. i cannot tell you if it is less painful than a ant bite but all i can say is, a bee sting is more painful. trust me. i have experienced both.

was abit in need of consoling last nite. super in need of consoling.

i may have lost my closest guy friend. seriously. it seems such a bloody waste cause of what we went through last year and everything on top combined. it was like a soap opera. i doubt any other guy would understand me the way he does. ah. now i feeling abit lost cause for me, he was always someone that i can fall back on even if both of us don't communicate for very long. now it seems that i lost that support and i feeling super lonely and sad.

ah. if i am slight emoish today. pls understand. ah. i need someone to talk to. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

yes, i am still bloody awake now.

got two more summaries to copy down on to paper then i am done. shall go to school in the morn to hand in stuff then perhaps look for a mugging parter. haha. not very interested to stay at home to study. ah. i still have chem to do.

it sucks when your close fren is attached. seriously. i feel sorely neglected. i am glad you agree that you should be killed.

emoish. i need a new partner for kfc X(

my horoscope on frenster which i just checked:


what a bloody ironic thing. adding romance is the most difficult thing in my life.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

back from mugging session with flo. ah. it is more fruitful for me. haha.

woke up and then went back to slp since flo didn't say what time to meet. luckily woke up again to see her msg then changed and left the house. i love my sec 3 grace shirt and i know flo is probably sick of seeing me in it but it is like my mugging shirt. super comfy and it is SEC 3 GRACE. my sec four grace shirt isn't that nice.

reached the lib like 5 minute before opening. met up with flo. ah. the race for tables is super spastic and crazy. flo took the lift while i took the stairs and i reached first. haha. sat at our usual table. it shld be called the flo and sue table.

ok, took out gp things and started on aq. bleh. did like two in two hours? slow slow but my train of thots were like running everywhere. decided to do summaries at home so was focusing on aqs. flo was doing essay outlines which i love her cause she was doing on my hw. haha. hearts.

went to the s11 nearby to eat. fried meatball noodles. ah. super funny. saw ducheng there. actually is he called out to me or else i wouldn't have seen him. i tend not to notice others when i am not alone. haha.

tralala. realised that i have NEVER gone shopping with flo. seriously. we went walking around j8. spent sometime at the shoe section. i so badly wanna buy a slipper. like horridly. but nothing nice so far. after that we went to fox. ah. the shorts. 2 for 36? i love short shorts. going back to buy when i have more cash. haha. we were dragging time back to go mug but in the end no choice.

went back where i completed two more aqs. started on my essay outline. tonight shall do all my essays and summary and then hand them in tml morn. mugging with denny in the morn?

ah. towards the end of mugging session i was bored so was playing with flo's hp. was msging nicholas. that guy super smart. he knew it wasn't flo but then still continued msging. ah. cause flo won't suan him and flo won't argue with him. haha.

after that borrowed three books of sandra brown. i need romance in my life. undeniable fact.

then flo went to meet her mum for tea. haha. her mum was nice to ask me along but i needed to buy dinner back since my mum and sis not eating. ah. no one free to pei me for dinner date. went to amk hub then saw timothy and clayton. haha. surprised them i think. they ask me if wanna go join them for dinner but then cause they have a fren there so didn't want to go.

shall go bathe and later chiong hw. surprisingly not slpy although i slept at 2 yest.

plans for this week
tuesday - mug? watch KUNGFU PANDA!
wednesday - outing with zoe plus watch get smart movie
thursday - mug? with? martina?
friday - mug with flo (study micro econs)
then sat onwards until next sat is all for my dad since he coming back from shanghai. HAPPY.

ok. hw left. one maths paper. one physics paper. one chem paper. THE END. chiong chiong. if i can finish all tml. i will be super damn happy and can focus on revision. ah.

oh yeah, was distracted talking to flo also.
convos goes like this:
flo: oh yeah, i told xx and xx about what u said about fish
me: what?
flo: rmb? the one where i wanted to delete my tamagochi cause it evolved to something very ugly and then fish say that i must be accepting of my child.
me: then?
flo: then you went to tell me that i shld tell him that 'not everyone is as accepting as your mother'
me: OMG? I WAS THAT MEAN?
flo: yeah.

during lunch while gossiping
me: haha. later i fall for him how?
flo: you will never fall for him, he is too ugly for you.
me: you boosted my self esteem like crazy.

ah. hearts flo. super fun. i know i am the only one that will be super sarcastic and come back with alot of remarks cause i just hate to lose an argument. yeah, if i was in hc and in flo's class, i think some ppl will just go mad. the only person i can argue with is prob nicholas cause his mind is super fast and he can twist words like crazy. oh yeah, flo will never consider stone. flo asked me to type that.

today is a nice and happy day. ah. i love mugging with flo. i love my bestie. haha. i can't wait for end of year. what is happening? it is a secret. pick up hot asian guys. ah.

smiling today. happy.

gp gp gp. need to do work. haha,

i love mugging now. yeah, clayton was astounded when i said i was mugging just now. tsk.

to me, you are 10/10

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ok. i am going crazy. today is FATHER'S DAY. what am i doing?

doing gp hw. how pathetic. chatting online talking about useless stuff. gah. ok i need a break. i need to finish 4 summaries and aqs by today. then hand in tml. i still have 4 essays to do. kill me.

the part where i pierced my ear is starting to heal and it is driving me crazy. haha. cause i like to turn the earring for no apparent reason. crazy.

pointless. the onli fun part was chatting with clement which he said me and my sis shld go out and flirt and toy with guys outside and then later say both of us are les. GOSH.

never.

i am happy if you are smiling.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i think i broke my own heart into two myself
just can't stop thinking

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

back from bday celebration. whoo

took mrt down with ivy to bishan j8. and seriously she is so funny. she didn't know that ezlink card can use on mrt as well. only thot for bus and when she use mrt, she will go take the green card.

ok. met up with my sis. arranged for my sis to reach there first to buy a present (earrings) for ivy. i have no idea why my sudden obsession with earrings. then wanted to eat at the hongkong cafe but queue too long so went crystal jade. like had to queue also but the ambiance was alot nicer. left my sis and ivy there to queue while i went to withdraw money. on the way back, bought one pink ginvera for her. haha.

went to order food. i like crystal jade. too bad there didn't serve timsum during dinner time. tralala. ordered and it was nice nice. haha.


walked around j8 for a while. gave ivy the 50 dollar angpow my mum asked me to wrap for her. my sis bought her a 10 dollar prepaid card so that she can call back home. walked around and walk around.

nothing much except for walking around. i wanted to buy a slipper. but couldn't find a pair which i liked. secretly bought back a cake back. haha. took mrt and bus back and sort of cam whored while waiting for mrt.


then my sis asked me to go upstairs to distract ivy while she set up cake. ok. i am super lousy at this. i asked her up to help me choose clothes so that i can wear tomorrow. my lies have holes. i am not going out tomorrow. lol. then my sis started screaming that there is a lizard downstairs so ivy rushed down and then we started singing happy birthday and cut cake.


ah. saw this bouquet at j8. it is not real. handmade and super pretty. i shld stop dreaming.

ivy is so cute. she just came upstairs and tried on the earrings and was super happy that she hugged both me and my sis. i guess it was worth it. i like birthdays ever since last year dec i tink. not very sure. or maybe it was my own bday that i liked and wanted to continue.

zzz. i can't believe an inanimate object is more impt than me.
fine.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

tralala. going out for dinner now.
my maid ivy's birthday today! like her alot
my sis and i bringing her out to eat and then got cake and stuff.
see ya later.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my convo with daph:

ms. 2,4-dinitrophenylhydrazine says:
so far i really dont see any good looking sg guys le
ms. 2,4-dinitrophenylhydrazine says:
haha how come//
ms. 2,4-dinitrophenylhydrazine says:
must be the food

LOL. but i find it hard to deny. AH.

note: sg stands for singapore

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

super slpy mood right now. rawr.

woke up at 11. lol. my mum is back from her trip yest and she is flying off again next next week and she may go miami soon. ah. bring me along!

got ready and left for tp mrt. ah. i was like ten minutes early? was suppose to meet yun and usarin for lunch, end up both of them twenty minutes late. haha.

ate subway for lunch. i like SUBWAY! cookie. i love cookie. ahh. then went for cip. turned out nothing much since only had like 4 kids? so end up eunice, shenchen, swathi, yun and i chatting. about aristal. about piercings. eunice had in total 10 piercings. ouch. but her hole kept closing. ah. crazy. her nail colour today was super nice. bright blue for fingers and gold for toes. nice.

tralala. nothing much today. yun and uu went shopping at city hall but i was too lazy to follow. wanted to mug with clement at amk mrt but then again, too lazy to take stuff.

dropped by amk hub to look for nail polish. haha. eunice told me where. super nice the colours and one for 2.90. ah. not expecting it to be good but it is cheap and i love colours. bought two which is blue and pinkish purple?

then bought another subway cookie and went home. ah. sin. but i love chocolate chip with rainbow candies! haha.

pics of my nail polish. gosh. o2 skin really packs it nicely. and another nail polish colour which i bought when i was with jiin and it is my current nail colour now. ah. 3 bottles within 3 weeks? but i dun realli spam buy cause nail polish dries up and it won't be that nice to use after a couple of months.





was reading isetan newsletter and hokkaido fair now! ah. or soon. 20-30 june. who wants to go with me? or i can drag my dad down. ah. i like jap fairs.

urgh. slpy now. smsing clement and chatting with deng online now. playing wahjong. rawr.

quickly come back. me lonely. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

lol. chatting with deng and clement online now. haha. clement doing this personality test on me. humouring him but it is quite accurate

asked me there is a cube in dessert, comparing it to something, wad size is it. i said a rose bud in full bloom
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
the size of the cube represents your ego
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
you do not have much self confidence
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
rather you are much comfortable when you are with a friend

colour of the cube:
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
and you chose orange
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
which shows your personality
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
it symbolises zest, creativity, enthusiasm
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
whilst red represents passion,
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
orange will tend to foreplay in intimate terms

cube transparent or opaque?
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
oh and the last bit
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
the cube being opaque signifies how much of your life u share with others
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
you keep alot of things private
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
you have secrets that no one would ever know, that you're dying to tell but can't
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
cause you would never forgive yourself if you told someone

hmm. must ask other to read this. is this accurate picture of me?

in clement's opinion:
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
i would think it gives a pretty good picture of you
clement~ cycling from pasir ris by changi beach at night says:
a fun person that is trapped by her own insecurities sometimes

good job.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ah. super tired now. spliting headache and my hair is still wet. reached home around 9. wow.

woke up at 9.15 today. lol. then boon jin reached the house first so went upstairs then deng came and brought sushi! whee. happy. put the sushi downstairs in the fridge for a while. was daideeing and winning! haha. then my stupid sis came to disturb. rawr.

so four ppl daidee then bridging. felt like a maid. lol. dragged the dvds there. then they chose spongebob square pants. a bunch of 17 year olds. played jenga. deng is lousy at that game. that game can play for very long. boon jin's hands were shaking like mad when taking the piece. but both collapse is due to mr deng yaoliang!

then played uno. urgh. the cards never shuffle properly. alot of cards same colour one. after that was monopoly. lol. super long game one. they were watching king kong by this time. urgh. was waiting like mad for the kfc to come. tralala.

then went downstairs to makan. took some pics before leaving to amk mrt to meet yiwenwen!

then went to K. OK. now i know the meaning of K and it doesn't mean kap. haha.

first thing that went into my mind was that, it is COLD. super cold. ok, then started spamming jay chou songs. tralala. nothing much to blog about singing i guess. haha. then took some pics.

boon jin and my sis left at 4.45pm then deng and yiwenwen and i continued singing till 9. haha. they didn't chase us away somemore. super nice and fun.

we were super tired and no voice by then. ah. then yiwen sang a song called 'chang tou fa' means long hair. we were just spastic all the way. and laughing during that song. ah. it is the song of the day! funny.

ok. pics. too lazy to upload them one by one so just collage them tgt. anyone who wants ask from me. lol. already send to deng some. lol.








lol. after kboxing took lift down. some bastard was smoking while being INSIDE the lift. like hello? the rest of us don't wanna die from being a 2nd hand smoker. stupid bloody ah beng.

was abit annoyed just now. ZZZ. i am not being paranoid.

why the hell were U smiling?!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

today is a happy day for sueanne.

the food was yummy. lol. total around 39 i guess. quite worth it considering what i ate. haha. then we walked to taka planning on shopping and stuff. was walking through and then my sis just say she random wanna pierce ear ask me if i wanted.

was not very good mood when i was out cause i was thinking about lots of stuff. so then the thought of a ear piercing sounded super appealing cause they say if you pierce ur ear, your fate will change. it is total nonsense but still, wanted to change my mind about something.

was walking to wisma when near taka kfc, someone whacked me, turned and see it was JOSON CHUA. the world is super small can? haha. he was studing with danhong, jiahao and serene and shanly i think. ahh. after he left, my sis was smiling. haha. joson chua is silly.

then we slowly walked to bdazzled cause i kind of was beginning to get cold feet. reached there, ask for price and asked normal qn. chose a earring which was a tiny star with a crystal inside. the piercing is free, the earring not. ahh. wanted to back out but then the lady was like painless. since my first piercing was also there in sec 1, i was like shld be ok. so did the markings and all, then pierce both at one go,and IT HURTS. zz.

ah. it was like the higher u pierce the more pain it gets. ok. fine. ah. so did the signings and stuff and going there back at one week later to get it checked. haha. troublesome but it is ok. then my sis wanted to get hers pierced at bits and pieces cause mine cost 41 dollars. walked back to cineleisure and hers was only 10 dollars. ah. sorry, my ear is ultra sensitive one. ever since i pierced another exit hole in my right ear, there has been infection, blood, pus, pain. so to me, if my ear hurts, it is nothing.

decided to take mrt down to harbour front. whoo. i super long nv go there. ok, i went there once to watch movie with my sis. but after that, no. ahh. walked around abit. trying to get into the shopping mood. haha. went for a starbucks drink first. caramel frappe. but then i got kind of sick of it after a while. all the coffee. shld have ordered a mocha. didn't know that mocha had lesser coffee taste.

then went to toys r us. lol. there the toys r us there rocks. my sis and i were having alot of fun. i feel as though we were deprived children. like there were so many games and toys that we have never touched before. ah. ok, all those are gimmicks but they are nice gimmicks.

spent a long time there taking photos and being totally silly. but it is fun. first time thinking it is good to have a sister. ok, not first time thinking but i dun always think that it is good cause my sis pisses me off. lol.

ah. we were being silly with the hair bands and stuff. gosh. i love sylvelian family or whatever they call that. small animals with house. i have a house but quite empty. lol. then lost interest before i even started collecting. the baby dolls are just plain freaky. lucky i don't have them. saw barbie dolls. then i saw beauty and the beast and started laughing. looked so mutated. ah. it is bad.


ok, wanted to watch movie but the queue was super long and annoying. was not in the mood after the queue. walked around then found this shop which spent like 1 over hour in there trying clothes. i think i went into the fitting room like thrice. ahh. finally shopping! ok. spent like 108 there. sinful. my sis also bought clothes but not as much.

then walked around somemore. then decided to walk to harbour front centre. then my sis got stopped by this guy asking survey. urgh. he say got free voucher. i feel cheated. cause we spend like 10 over minutes answering his qn and the voucher was only 10 dollars for club marc which is an expensive boutique in vivo. rawr.

walked around harbour front centre. tried hard to find flats but all hard one and toes feel squished and surely get blister. didn't want to waste money. was walking and walking. ah. my sis bought a body spray which smells like, the toilet. ok, i am being mean.

then went into this shop which my sis started buying clothes and i went to try and end up buying again. ah. 66 dollars. my damage is high high. after that, both of us went to check our net card balance. ah. huge damage. after that, wadever shop we went into to window shop, we quickly walked out cause no mood. haha.

shld have seen our balance earlier then don't spend money. end up walking. i love godiva. seriously. ahh. godiva. whee.




saw this quote at some boutique at vivo. super meaningful:

was walking, then saw the kipling shop. god. i love the bag at the centre. super nice and pretty. ah. i always have a fascination towards kipling. i wonder if it is because of the monkey. haha.


pretty bag. then we wanted to eat dinner so took mrt back to amk hub which i paid for pepper lunch.

before that, saw vinnie which was my sis classmate and now currently studying in nj and is anthony's and elyena's classmate. she was with two of my sis's ex classmates as well. one was actually my age but retained at sec 3. urgh. i sort of know her abit. lol. then she was like, 'eh, a level year rite, can still go out shopping'

then i was like OMG. i totally forgot. seriously. was having so much fun that i totally forgot that i was an a level student. ah. vinnie also say. haha. lucky can say that she having common test in two weeks and still have time to play. ahhh. but that comment spoilt my dinner abit. was worrying alr. and tml boon jin and deng still coming over to play and later kbox somemore. god.

went to ntuc to buy things. on the way, got two guys stopped me and my sis to survey. then found out that we were sisters and they were stunned. STUPID. urgh. like after we walk off, can hear them saying, sisters? some ppl say look like, some ppl say no. dun realli care.

after buying stuff, took bus back home. super tired now. going to slp soon. now 11.51am

learnt how to put pics tgt in sq using a program which i dun wanna reveal. lol.
much nicer. haha.

getting mixed comments about my piercings. jiin was like cool and stuff and she wants to pierce one on her left ear cause her 2nd piercing closed in sec 2. flo is like neutral but i have been trying to get her to pierce cause i bought her a pair of earrings for her bday hoping that she will pierce in the future. daph was cool too. guys are just EWWW. zz. yeah, boon jin rather tattoo himself than pierce. he doesn't know tattoo is more painful and IT BLEEDS MORE.

urgh. now abit disturbed. trying to tell myself that it doesn't bother me but it does. hate it. if it is true then i dunno wad. if it is not true, i am going to kill someone for lying.

i guess i will never understand you at all. dun even know if i shld try.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world