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When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

woke up like 15 minutes ago. didn't want to wake up though.

really feeling kind of sick like stomach feels pain and weird and i slept without the fan on at all. and i was like cold sweat? dying already.

if i die, i think boon jin will run his car over me. stupid sadomasochist guy. urgh.

dying. how how how? tml still going to kbox at 1.30. i wanna go play! X(

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

feeling abit zzz cause my stomach feels weird. i swear i didn't eat anything that i have cooked so far.

being alone at home is lonely. my sis ran to dunno where. sigh. was watching hana kimi the taiwan one. i know i very slow but i haven touched tv for a long time. WU ZUN. ahh. cute. totally cute. 181 cm. ideal height. for a 29 year old, he looks very very young. ok, must stop comparing these guys to spore guys, feeling disappointed like mad now. sob.



how sexy can one get?


ok. now travel and living channel. anthony bourdain no reservations. Charleston! reminds me of gone with the wind and RHETT BUTLER. the ultimate guy aside from clayton westmoreland in whitney my love. ok. all gentlemen and super devoted. ahh. holidays make me deviate so much from reality. sad.

DAPH TEH. stop insulting my darling. he is the best of the best alr XDDD

my nap time is now now now. but not really slpy. dunno why. bleh bleh bleh. going spastic. me bored. entertainment pls?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

when god created me, he obviously forgot to give me cooking skills.

i am so horrified. like AHH. went downstairs to make something hot with the microwave, i thot the bag can also be microwaved. YEAH RIGHT. put in for less than five seconds, got smoke coming out and sparks. quickly offed the thing and take it out. the bag had one huge burnt hole. like those burnt death paper like that. had to throw the entire thing away or else can die of poisoning.

ahh. i can't even use microwave. this is DUMB. dun care. during the hols, going to learn how to cook proper. zz. or in the future i really can poison someone.

my grandmother just came by to give dumplings! dumpling festival is coming. i love her like mad. ahh. yes, i have to communicate to her in chinese but i am used to it since she took care of me when i was young and she doesn't say i speak lousy chinese XD

oh yeah, just now was outside then was asked if wanna buy donuts cause near donut factory, say no cause someone bought for me before. zz. immediate answer was 'your boyfren ah?' YEAH RITE. like any future boyfren of mine will buy donuts for me. dun want to buy stuff. it is stupid to spend money on me cause i will just leave it aside to rot.

just stay by my side can liao. haha.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

because sueanne is horridly bored now, sueanne shall go web surfing. ahhh. rubbish. if i typed like this everyday, i tink i will go crazy.

woke up at 8.30. crazy. i slept like 2 plus yesterday? was super lack of slp and very very grumpy. feeling like a bear that got poked. urgh. was looking for clothes to wear and made a mess out of my cupboard. sad.

i think i have limited clothes. ahh. need shopping desperately and i HATE SHOPPING. please explain the irony to me pls. pls pls.

went to borders for breakfast. yes! borders at wheelock place have a bistro there and serves breakfast and lunch and etc. after that went isetan to walk and then went novena. nothing much i guess. after a happy day yesterday i was feeling rather drained today. need to catch up on my slp slp.

tml kbox i guess with patrick they all. STUPID UNCLE TRICK. will kill him tml.

someone else is stupider but i shall not mention who.



found this pic like in my lappy. taken last year! guess whose shoe. my fave guy last year XDD

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

sueanne is a happy girl. this day is near to perfect. ahhh. near to perfect. first outing with jiin and then aristal. ahhh.

firstly, woke up at 10. went to bathe and wash hair and drying takes up like close to 45 minutes. started getting dress at 11.45. was dressing and was wearing shorts then my mum was like 'you are going concert you know?' zz. changed into a pair of jeans. i hate wearing jeans. so hot and long. zz.

left the house while msging jiin. haha. took mrt to novena. whee. met here there. pretty jiin! walked to novena to fish and co fish and co. new york fish and chips. ahh. she doesn't believe me when that guy said that the soup of the day was mushroom soup. cause she cannot take seafood other than fish so if like have prawn soup she will die haha. whee. just talked and ate talked and ate. super fun. filled her in on what was going on with my life. haha.

we took like one hour for lunch? so fun. then we walked to united square for our starbucks. manage to find a seat. lucky. took out mugging stuff then went to order our drinks. caramel frappuccino. like hearts with dozens of hearts on it.

ok, then the mugging began. i was doing transition elements and jiin was doing on differentiation. then it started raining and had lighting and thunder. but we were in this glass house. nice to see raindrops just pouring down. ok, we were distracted more than once by talking. can't help it. we haven seen each other since the last i.c outing. haha





mugged until 5.15 then we decided to talk around united sq to find me a new nail polish colour since jiin said that silver is totally eew. HAHA. walked around. walked around. super fun. shopping. i want to buy a guy's sweater. but i need a model for it.

found this colour which jiin chose. we were in watsons. jiin is a girly girl. i tink she is the most girly person out of all my frens. at least she cares about makeup and stuff. we were walking in watson then we walked past one place with all the preg tests and condoms. haha. was telling her that a guy shld buy one p.t and one c so that in case the latter fails can still test. ahhh. funny.




saw this hello kitty shop. overwhelming pink. i felt i was smouldered by pink. haha. then we took mrt down which jiin alighted at orchard to go tuition. urgh. clementi is so far. i didn't know it is towards boon lay that side and i nearly took the train to pasir ris. lucky checked.

joson chua reached there so early. then msg me when i was only at red hill. ahh. lucky reached there on time. olivia. ahh. she came late. joson wanted to leave her behind. haha. walked to interchange and 96 just left. had to wait. vania came then 96 came also.

took bus all the way in. we followed the crowd. haha. reached there. end up, we the earliest. followed by jim, then boon jin, then vania and sze then etc. haha. saw jamie! so chio. ahh. jamie with make up. pretty. saw clement shihao also. ahh. clement was like asking me how long i took to dress due to our convo the previous night. haha. saw uncle trick!

ahh. then usarin was late and we were panicking cause starting soon. lucky she came. sat between jim and joson as per normal. haha. two best dressed guys in the entire area. what is there not to like? anthony was sitting behind us. haha.

then aristal started. not bad. i was busy trying to stop people. ahh. western dance is damn cool. eunice is freaking hot. danial is damn good. ahh. super nice western. indian saw giang and swathi. not bad also. malay saw kailun and aidan! ahah. quite long the performance. didn't expect it to be so long.

after that, went downstairs. SAW MS ANG. took photo with her. then went outside to see the dancers. saw mr chee!!! saw giang, eunice, aidan etc. took photos like crazy. after that, we took 96 back to clementi.

saw uncle trick at mrt. take photo! haha. not everyday my junior dress until nice nice so must take. look like uncle realli! end up only boon jin, me, usarin and olivia take mrt. haha. ahh. so funny. then olivia got off at red hill then ask uncle trick come sit with us cos he alone.

i can happily murder him lor. msg me all the funny funny sms. hint here and there. ahh. he die already. i don't care, i going to find out who is that ip girl even if it kills me. stupid patrick tan ser hua!

then alighted at city hall and took train to amk. super tired. haha. then parted ways with boon jin and usarin and i cross road to take 132. lucky still have bus. reached home at 12 plus. super tired and hungry cos fish and co was the only meal i had. sadly. i am super hungry now. ahh. and it is now, 1.20.

going out tml to borders for breakfast. happy. hungry too.

i like pictures. makes me happy. haha. sara is super chio. whoo. class couple! photos of me with my fave guys and girls.

happy cause you were there.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i think i am slowly killing myself. bit by bit. insecurities just keep building up. and i just can't get rid of them. cause i cannot ask. i don't want to know the answer.

maybe i am not levelheaded enough. is that why i cannot ask just yet? if i did ask, will the answer benefit me even the least? will it calm my erratic heart? will it even make me happy?

i cannot choose that is why it is unfair to ask others to choose.

whatever was being said to me on monday, still bugs me. i have no idea why. maybe because i know i cannot lie to myself. i know there is truth in the statement and it hurts. yet, there is no asking. why? cause i don't want to be hurt. maybe the answer i assume is wrong, maybe it is not that way. i dont' know. i risked my heart once. i cannot afford to risk it again. not on the same person.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i looked into the mirror. flushed face. cheeks pink. eyes watery. nose red. yes, my nose is running like mad. i think i having flu le. die.

hoping it will be a one day thing and tml wake up ok. it normally happens. as long as i don't burn up can liao.

why are you still not here yet?

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:

1) "What did you do to your hair?"
Unless we've cut our own hair—this is not common—someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention. It's also far superior to the generic "You look different," which tells us you're as clueless as ever.

2) "They both look the same to me."
We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the registry dishware we're asking you to compare. But they can't possibly look exactly the same, can they? Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision—or worse, that you don't care.

3) "Relax."
A kissing cousin to "Don't get so worked up," this generally creates the exact opposite effect you're shooting for. When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.

4) "I've got it all under control."
Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming), or because you're missing a piece to your flat-screen television because you said you didn't need to read the assembly instructions.

5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"
Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.

6) "When are you due?"
Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, "I'm not pregnant," or "I had the baby six months ago," and you'll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent—even considerate—curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.

7) "You're being emotional."
In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question—"Is it that time of month?"—to yourself

8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."
All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope. Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.

9) "You complete me."
We've seen "Jerry Maguire" and most other romantic comedies far more often than you, and while we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's—and sometimes a woman's—mouth, but keep the compliments real and honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.

10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"
Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you she's given it up

and just to be fair top 10 things you shouldn't say to a guy. but the female one makes more sense.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i think i am going to fall sick. like stupid immune system is quite down.

woke up feeling horrible and stuff. lucky msged audrey to tell her i will be late. gastric and me are so not good frens. end up waking up at 10 plus and left the house. reached school at 11.30. like ahh. late. plus my cello couldn't be found at co store. X(

dazu was at raintree. went there and sat with dudu while the rest was playing. UNCLE TRICK! stole my cello. haha. was helping dudu do the glitter glue for the presents for the teacher and end up having alot on my hand. then joson, patrick and lichen went to canteen buy drink and buy until next day. haha. audrey solo for cello XD played a while on liu xuan's cello. don't like her bow though. then continued to help dudu.

ahh. it ended at 12.30. only went to school for an hour. then walked down with patrick to canteen. saw the harmoc guys. black. their cca shirt is black. zz. no comments. denny is WEAK. haha. cos i was grabbing on to his bag and he couldn't tug it away.

after that walked to bus stop to take 156. saw my kor anthony there. XDDD haha. each time see him feel so happy. i guess he is a happy person. 156 took forever to reach j8.

met flo at breadtalk. sorry bestie! i think she was starving there cause i reached at 1.20. i miss her like mad. the last time i saw her i guess was when we mugged at lib? one month ago. can die.

went yoshinoya to eat. haha. i have a weird fetish for such food. beef bowl! student meal! worth it. 4.50. was sitting down and talking. i miss crapping with her. listen about hc stuff. i miss hc. sort of. although i was never from there but hearing things from flo and jiin can sort of feel like know that place quite well.

alot of catching up to do. AHA. i told flo what i did. same like wad i told jiin. yup, if things were to be found out, i would be killed and slaughter. jiin said she would slaughter me if it happened to her. flo just laughed and said it was so sueanne. yeah. i am a NOUN. cool.

then we went to mos burger to mug. i stupidly only bought tjc maths and it is HARD. zz. harder than rj. ahh. i finished jc1 promo paper for rj just to do basics. stupid tj paper. made me so sad. haha. flo was doing integration. ahh. she had like a booklet for maths for her blocks. lucky. but questions are quite hard. nj paper is getting easy.

eeks. someone asked her out for lunch tml. i can't write who cos if kx knows the entire world will know according to flo. but FLO! if you end up with him, i will cry. seriously cry. like what can be worst than a stone? sob sob. ok, i rather you be with the stone than the fish. at least the stone is tall.

ahh. yeah, we shld have scanners like each scanner means rich, tall or something. if the guy don't have criteria then will have error or something like that. tralala. saw my sis at j8. that stupid girl didn't see me and lied say she was in school. YEAH RITE. if i believed her, i will be an idiot. thank god i am not.

then flo and i went to long john silver. fries! i like their fries. continued chatting since mugging is so ineffective once there is no conducive environment. new topic today, ns check up. ok, hc ppl are much more liberal and out spoken about these kind of things. i found out alot more than what joson told ppl. god. THEY CHECK THAT?! yuck yuck. ahhh.

A,B,C. i can't believe fish is A. haha. check if hanging down?! like ERRRR. how i know. gross. seriously, hc ppl are more outspoken about these. like ahh. i wish i didn't know now. scary images.

then we walked j8. zz. i hate it when i see couple rings. and then now GSS. then got rings say 10%,20%,30% off. i was telling flo, if ever ever, buy me ring during GSS. instant death. how cheapskate can you ever be? went to comic connections. haha. i tink flo is the only person i can walk in with and she will share opinions cause both of us love manga. whee.

walk and walk and walk. then after that she went to meet her mum then i took mrt home. oh yeah, XXX + romance = no solution. or X times love = not applicable. get the pic?

was sneezing my way home. sian. was bathing when ivy say got phone call. i was shouting that i was bathing and she kept asking me to answer the phone. zz. abit got shampoo and super wet can go answer phone? end up not answering.

chatting with audrey now. haha. she asking me now what craving i have. whee. you wouldn't want to know

my reprieve is gone. shit. i don't want to think about r/s. yet, i haven given an answer. how to say no nicely? can someone pls teach me?

thanks, i didn't even know you had a son! zzz.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

p.s below post is for my bestie.
nicholas is an idiot for thinking i have a bf.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

babe, i just want to thank you for being by my side
for putting up with all my nonsense
for telling me things even though i might not wish to listen
for going thru all the hard times with me
for going along with me whatever i say
to listen to be complain and bitch
for never once losing your cool with me
it has been quite a long time
i love you like hell
i hope you know it.

this week will be the first date but i know there is many to come
love you loads

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

rihanna, take a bow. this song is horridly addictive.

now chatting with clement. hmm. asking if after aristal wanna go clubbing. if s19 not going dinner then go ba. i don't really mind. haha.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

sueanne is a happy girl. i feel so accomplished today.

woke up at 11 plus. was supposed to go lib to mug with flo but then woke up too late. then used com for a while before deciding to pack my comic cabinet. haha. cause all my books in a mess so went to pack. i took over an hour to do so. by the time finish, around 2 pm and i haven eaten anything. lucky ivy cooked something but i was like guinea pig like that. she tried cooking something new, claypot rice. not too bad except i don't like ginger. X(

whatever that i am going to give away

was looking for boxes to put some books in. whee. next when i free, i shall go pack my fiction books. ahh. i felt so dusty when i finished packing. dusty. was reading some of the comics when i went to bathe. dust free!

slept for two hours then my mum called to meet for dinner. haha. it was raining though. whee. took bus and mrt there. not too bad.

met my mum and sis at bread talk then went to ding tai fung to eat dinner. i saw sec 1 classmate michelle. flo's ex sec 3 and flo classmate. xiao long bao! happy. i love love xiao long bao! then ate some other things. after that, went swensen for fries and ice cream! ahh. living a life of sin. but nvm. had abit of gastric this morn since yest only ate dinner as the only meal for the entire day.

walked abit of j8 then cabbed home. crazy. cab fares are so crazy. like from j8 to my house was like 10 dollars. and i stay in amk. bishan to amk. wow. money money flow out.

looking at the stack of hw. tsk. finish two more physics prelim and complete chem and one prelim of maths then i am DONE. but got alot of a lvl books to do. PLUS GP HW. zz. i am like leaving it until next week then hand in all at one goal. cos one was due yest and another tml but then how to hand in? i mean for those ppl that not going back sch for hols, how are they going to hand in?

happy. chatting with flo and audrey now. tml got cca. if tml cca not going out then shall go lib to mug with flo. happy. i feel slightly happy. like can finish hw. XD

if can finish early then can go clubbing with clement. haha. he say he bring the guys then i bring the girls. so funny.

tralala

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

desperate people do desperate things
lovesick people do lovesick things
weird people do weird things
tired people do tired things

people whose lives don't even intersect, i wonder what will happen to them. so life will just be like that? everyone doing their own things? i desperately wanna chat. however, it is useless.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

continue ur mocking and u will notice my brother doesn't care for u even a little bit

yeah. OBVIOUSLY. thanks for the cold hard truth.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i love joann chua to bits and pieces. was telling her wad his bro told me. and she was quite indignant over it.

seriously, i don't know what is his prob. if he is not in a good mood, don't bloody come and vent it on me. don't even tell me things that you know i don't even want to hear. guess what? i don't even give a damn right now cause listening to you is probably the stupidest thing i would ever do.

fk it all. bloody hell.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

thanks for letting me know absolutely nothing.
thanks for not even hinting that u did not even give a damn
and i just have to find it from a sib
yeah. thanks alot.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

pretty. mood is good. haha.

went for cca today. was stoning thru out the bus journey. went for cca but not many ppl there at first. went with uncle trick to buy drink.

then cca started. super slpy. ahh. my mind was all bout physics prelim paper. zz. mugger. gosh, later i turn into a mugger how?

practise ended like 3.20? zz. two and a half hours only. then went to canteen with haoyun to mug physics. lucky he around to teach me physics or else i will just be stuck on that qn. haha. then the j1s finish prac so end up about 11 ppl took bus to orchard.

ahh. didn't eat bfast and lunch. no idea why. not hungry ba. haha. then end up the first thing i eat today was patrick's chewing gums and the ice cream that he treated. THANK YOU UNCLE TRICK!

went to pasta mania to eat. sheng hui came back! haha. cellobass one table. joson, patrick, lichen, shenghui and i. ahh. ordered something super weird. miso mushroom. super creamy. then uncle trick ordered al funghi? then joson ordered dunno wad. end up, four of us felt super sick. i ate 3/4 then exchange plates with uncle trick. so creamy.

after eating, chat abit then the rest wanted to go danhong's house which is at cck?! end up, patrick, minghan and i took mrt back.

super tired now and just finished bathing. but happy cause had cca. whee. i miss my juniors. but my money ss running out already. ahh. dunno if can go out without money.


i miss you yet i am not going to do anything.
i hope sigub was fun for you. idiot.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

haha. mood slightly better. clement made me laugh. super funny.

clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
go ahead and marry the stupid thing for all I care?
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
theres no way that's a song lyric haha

cause he say my pm always very emo. but i mostly take from song lyrics one. LOL.

clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
a friend once told me that dota is a girlfriend's worst nightmare

i TOTALLY AGREE. if i am rich and successful, i am going to buy over the dota company and turn it into a cupcake factory or something. guys can bloody marry dota. see how they reproduce. zz.

haha. the convo is getting funnier by the minute.

clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
i guess in a les relationship u have less of the the
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
"why can't u listen? u never listen!'
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
or the
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
"we never talk anymore! why don't you confide in me

haha. my mood is totally picking up.

clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
you're gonna like castrate your husband on his 40th birthday
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
"happy birthday honey!"
clement~brushing up on my (very)rusty arcade skills says:
*snip snip!*

the story behind that is a secret. HAHA.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

still having this stupid headache. and super super bad mood. i guess it is because of what i read. like go die. seriously. go freaking die.

was looking through my organiser and i am pretty much booked for this week. although my tues is free but i guess i am going to make myself occupied. saturday and sunday i guess one of these days i am just going to go out to shop for shoes.

zz. i totally forgot about aristel. and i went to make a date with jiin to mug at starbucks at united sq. zz. either change date to mug or pray tat aristel is later. i can't believe i forgot about aristel. but i cannot ps jiin. didn't see my bestie like since forever. and i owe her a coffee date since forever.

zzz. my mum just say that we may be going to shanghai for TWO WEEKS in dec. like super zz. firstly, i won't be able to go out with my frens. secondly, i hate shanghai. crazy. i think i will go crazy by then. somemore, japan for a week in dec also. out of spore again alot of times. although i spent two weeks in australia like in sec sch but this is SHANGHAI. i am already hating it.

sudden craving for swensen. who can go with me?

i am not going to initiate anything anymore. not with you. you think it is so fun to hear the word 'NO'? ok, NO, I WILL NOT ASK ANYMORE.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i have got a headache. bad mood and seriously don't wish to blog.
tomorrow have to go to school. feel like cursing.
love and hate always coexist, doesn't it?

Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're lied
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

your wish is my command
chat another day, no fking problem
over my dead body will i initiate another chat
over my dead bloody body

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

took my usual two hour nap. i feel horridly old. sigh sigh. had one miss call when i woke up. ahh. jiin called. gosh. msged her but she haven replied. kind of wondering why she called cause she seldom calls me on my hp. ahh.

chatting with flo now. long time no see bestie. ok, shall go mugging together soon.

hungry. feel so sad now cause i am horridly hungry. house have almost like NO FOOD. seriously. debating now whether i should go out and buy food. hungry hungry. ahh. no, i shall not touch instant noodles. hungry. boo. i feel like calling someone to ask too go out for dinner. hungry. prata?

currently bored to death. was reading some of my comics. ahh. did abit of chem hw. zz. having no life sucks. staying at home is getting boring and yet going out is even more boring. i want commons back again. at least have motivation or aim to do something.

zz. online is boring. i wonder why.

realized some random facts about me
1. i hate cucumbers and tomatoes like crazy
2. i hate olives
3. i totally hate sexists.
4. i don't really like using hp
5. sitting in front of tv for 1 hr is the max i can go before getting bored.
6. most people i am close to are all capricorns. e.g my two besties.
7. i am not as strong as i would like to think i was
8. i usually am interested in things after they are like a few months out of date.
9. i currently hate the game bridge
10. i am not as sociable as people would think i am

ahhh. bored to death now. i really shouldn't think too much. what ifs and maybes. zz. it is just confusing me more than ever. since when was it so complicated? since nov? since dec? or since thurs. don't want to think le.

i need entertainment badly.

(edit)
god. i was so bored that i went to xiaxue's blog and see videos. gosh. she went to have her tongue pierced. ouch. i have no idea why girls must be the one to have their tongue's pierced. i don't see any guy piercing their tongue.

stupid. xinyi was saying that it is for oral sex. i think i wrote about this before. but after seeing that video and like hearing her speak weird, i doubt it is worth it. i mean, they say it is better for o.s but still, why is the girl the one to do it? i mean the girl has to go thru pain and it is the guy that gets to enjoy. NO WAY. unfair. there is no way i am going to get my tongue pierced. no way on earth.
yet the goal is to keep me from falling

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

zzz. i went to my parents room to take something then my mum asked me if i am going out. then i said no cause i am too tired or something like that. her reply 'later XXX call you out then you will go'.

god. i am going to kill my sis. seriously.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

woke up at around er 10 plus? not sure. during the hols, i have no notice of time nor dates. so quite screwed when ppl ask me for dates. like living in a world of oblivious.

wonder if i shld just off my hp like wad i did two years ago. yup, didn't touch my hp for a month. then, i was just concentrating on doing my own stuff. really lived in a world of my own. it was fun. however, i doubt i can do it this year since have co prac and stuff. ahh. but feel like offing it.

sigh. my suspicions are more or less confirmed. but shall just ignore it. i don't want to complicate my life anymore further. seriously. just praying that nothing will be said about it. cause, i don't know how to respond to it. although, the answer will be confirmed negative but i think i will freak out first before i say anything. but i can relax first.

have two shows to watch today. over her dead boy and the hottie and the nottie. staying at home today. been going out for like five days in a row already. super tired. drained. leg hurts above all things. wallet is getting thinner. my cash is going into a deficit. which does not promote long run growth at all. haha.

changed my blog music. just a few songs. more gentle sounding this type. nice. it is more soothing i guess.

reading book. going to read my entire comic collection. did finish maths for one jc paper already. rj i guess. not that bad. since i have the papers at home already and did some before. holiday homework, wanna try to complete it. then start on revision. yest was a wake up call. chem sucks. sad case.

i realize i am holding back alot. just don't wish to say some stuff. ahh. since when wasn't i not honest? maybe now. maybe when there is so much at stake already.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am addicted to one song. leona lewis is such a good singer. bleeding love is good. the 'i will always love you' which she sang at youtube for some competition is very very good. it is like my all time favourite song. i like oldies.



super zai nice. gosh. faints. it is just the song with lyrics. the lyrics are super ultra meaningful.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

uber stun. flabbergasted.
i officially hate dota to the core now
guys who play that game seriously, NO LIFE
GOD. ZZZ.
ahhh. guys are sucked into virtual world of nothing.
yeah, it is not even enough that i hear that word from deng.
ZZZZZZZ

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

last day of school is a happy day. seriously. my mood is so great that nothing can break it. . . yet. sometimes it is better not to say too soon.

reached home and bathed and just crashed on the bed until two hours later. just finished dinner. whee. quite sleepy still. couldn't slp at all last nite. it was really bad. just kept tossing and then it is like your eyes are shut but you are very very very much wide awake. ahh. woke up and alarm rang. was cursing.

took bus this morn and sat down and tried to slp. ahh. i thot will be late cause these few days 74 is so unpredictable and it is like u can take bus early and end up late. so i just boarded bus at 6.53, totally prepared to run to assembly but i still reached at 7.20. early.

joson was already there. whee. sigh. today totally didn't want to go to school. bleh. after assembly, went for lecture. ahh. sat in the place like behind projector and totally no chairs to block.zz. the qn paper for econs was returned and i think case study is dead. ahh. stupid deng, steal my qn paper. joson also stole my qn paper. then both nv return then i got nothing to refer to. then boon jin stole my pencil box. i feel bullied like crazy. but then i folded joson's qn paper into a heart shape. lucky got back qn paper and TEDDY! he went to hide my paper and nearly forgot to return.

maths lecture, went upstairs to sit with aidan and was totally not listening during the lecture. was talking to aidan while yiwen was slping. i had personal singer. haha. aidan was singin thruout the lecture. STOP AND STARE! fun fun. gosh.

then went for chem lesson. mcq was returned to us and answers given and gosh, horridly screwed. like counted marks, if i shaded what i think i shaded, shld be like 18/30 plus minus two or three. how screwed. seriously. even if 18 which i doubt so, it is like barely a B? paper 2 is probably screwed. how? super saddening. and i thot mcq wasn't so bad. THANKS ALOT NJ. YOU HELP ME ALOT WITH MY CONFIDENCE.

then break, went to eat with yiwen and swathi and sara. haha. cool. we are the like break before maths gang. fun. went up for lesson then gosh, this lesson was the best last lesson of school i ever had. ahh. mr chee was asking us if wanna go thru hypothesis testing cause haven started. HAHA. then we all were like noo cause no mood. then he say ok, lets talk.

firstly, longhao asked what horoscope he was, then mr chee was like the super ultra sensitive type. then all of us started guessing and then he gave another clue which say very gracious one. turns out to be cancer which is like, TOTALLY NO. i was comparing him to deng. what a huge diff. then started talking things. then someone ask are you getting married. then he was like no, don't you guys know that i am gay? then the entire class just stun. then he was like suddenly flustered and go NO LA. I GOT A WONDERFUL FANTASTIC GF. lol. i guess he didn't know that we will take him seriously

then started asking him will he have children. then he say no although he would want his first child to be a girl cause say normally the older child will teach the smaller one bad things and if girl won't be so bad. HAHA. i am nice. i don't bully my sis one XD then started saying about middle child or youngest child. haha. the eldest one is the one that will have alot of responsiblities on him or her one. confirm yes. middle is the one that neither here nor there, youngest is the most protected one. YES. anything goes wrong i always get blamed first for 'not telling her to do otherwise'

then he suddenly ask if tml is a fantastic day for going out, ask us where would we go. then we ask why he ask. his reply 'so that i can avoid those places' haha. so mean. then he say cos he was at bugis with his gf then saw nj students then he very embarrassed. cause according to him, he have tendency to pda and then he oblivious to everything except his gf. WHICH IS GOOD. GUYS SHLD BE LIKE THAT.

he was saying once he was at compass point queuing up for pizza hunt when got this group of students in red shorts and shirt with PADDLES walked pass him and greeted him. he say he was so embarrassed. super funny. then we played a game of zhou ji mi ma. we were just talking about the guys. jim is the type that everyday change gf type. then mr chee decided that he and jim shld have show down and loser sing. end up, mr chee lost. then he suddenly ask if we wanted early dismissal. but we all say no. end up, punishment is he have to propose to jim cause before that he was saying jim not bad looking and asking the girls in the class if we want jim shld just go propose.

ok. here is goes. the proposal. longhao took a video of it.
mr chee: hi jim. how is the weather today? *said in a falsetto voice
jim: the weather is very hot *said in a sexy voice
mr chee: the weather is always hot when i am around you

ahhh. the entire class just scream. then mr chee didn't want to continue and jim looked so disappointed. funny. then mr chee suddenly told jim ' cannot do this in front of others. ' then before he walked out ' later see me downstairs' whoo. so fun. today's lessons were fun

then yiwen and i went canteen with grace etc. then mr wee came to join us. after that, went downstairs to usual place to bridge and play asshole daidee for a while. haha.

i went to see daph and we went to talk for a while. super long nv talk to daph alr. just update each other on each other's lifes ba. went to oasis to talk. ahh. manage to tell her some stuff. one stuff that was bothering me yesterday. which i didn't tell anyone about. totally nv tell anyone about. and she was like 'but you won't like him rite?' i guess so. ahhh. vexed.

uncle trick was having chem test at oasis. zz. going to disown him as a junior liao. lousy junior. *kick

then went back canteen and went to take bus with deng. 171! took to dhoby ghaut then take to city hall. deng is an obvious mugger. cause number 1, he doesn't know what bus can take to dhoby ghaut. number 2, he wanted to take jurong east side to city hall from dhoby ghaut. lol.

reached dhoby ghaut, then went donut factory cause he wanted to buy donut. haha. walked around raffles city cause he claimed that he nv walk here before. ahh. got this restaurant called LULU. funny. haha. walked like one round around the place. then went burger king to sit. ordered onion rings and fries. whee.

ate and talked. both of us were quite tired i guess. haha. stupid deng, went to take photo of me with his phone and seriously, that photo sucks. zz. then he slept for a while while i played with his hp. i won the racing game. super happy. then i went to read the vampire book which i brought with me. whee.

haha. then we went ben and jerry. not bad. considering deng paid for it. haha. whee. then walked around entire raffles city. zz. he made a totally sexist comment. it went 'boobs are there because of guys' i totally whacked him due to it being a sexist and gross statement. haha. was at precious thots when i saw this stuff toy which was so cute. zz. deng had to comment on it being a snail.

then boon jin finally came. like 100 millions years passed. haha. met him at cafe cartel. whee. they bullied me into ordering food. lame excuses. free bread! boon jin sucks at being a waiter/maid. seriously. telling denny now that if he wants free labour, can consider. whee.

haha. i sort of miss three of us hanging out. ahh. like after dec hols, not much chance or due to this two other guys having other appointments and DITCHING ME. sob. boon jin can't cut bread for nuts. seriously. i tried to cut but then, being a left handed, things are just made more complicated XD

just sat there eating and talking lame stuff. ahhh. with two guys, the convo can just be totally sick and perverse. my ears numb to it liao. haha. whee. lucky have butter knife there. super nice to play with. aiyo, they so scared i throw at them. but then, if they nv do anything wrong, no reason to throw rite? SMILES.

sat there for quite some time. didn't really take notice. i like cheddar fries! the sauce is nice. super unique taste. and i don't have weird taste for the last last last last last time. zz.

then after that, went toilet. ok. the guys went toilet. i looked at the queue at the female's one and went no way. super long. ahh. took mrt back. stupid guys, totally ditched me and alighted at dhoby ghaut. i can keep my balance on trains ok. just dun make me distracted. haha.

took bus took bus home. saw my sis's fren i tink at opp my house bus stop. a pity she is a les with one girl from my level. tsk. hate les. oh yeah, i saw jenny when i was taking 76 to amk central. head monitor of sngs council. i was under her i tink. can't rmb.

ahh. sue is sleepy but totally happy girl. even nicholas noticed. stupid guy, was commenting on the smileys i was giving him. but he not very good mood today. zz. he ah, always make fun of me. like will say 'go find XXX la' then i say slping. then he was like 'oh, with her ah.' T.T zz

denny say i was in a goof mood. goofy mood. ok la. not bad for last day of sch. haha. nicholas was saying that i yest so emo, today so good mood. tml is like dunno. whee.

another bet, giving until august. i see if i accurate this time again. was asking boon jin if have like karma or something. time will tell.

zz. why can't you be like him?
but then again, if u were like him
i guess . . . there would be nothing special ba.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

just finished bathing!

haha. ok. today was a fun fun day and i am in super horridly good mood.

whee. was chatting with deng and uncle trick online while i went to change and get ready to go out. haha. met jamie at amk mrt then she was there alr. ahh. she went sentosa yest and got tan abit. abit sunburn also.

took mrt down to dhoby ghaut and gosh, we both were just talking and talking until we nearly miss the stop. haha. walked one round the b1 for clothes then went into each shop to find. but mostly, we were just looking at the guy clothes cause really, guys have the better end of the deal. their clothes look very smart and casual.

it is like zzz. cause it is super unfair. haha. we were looking at clothes but some look very very nice but the price is very very nice also. finally, spent time at cotton on trying clothes. haha. wow. super nice. end up buying two. one tube dress and one sleeveless top. super pretty. gosh. i like pretty things. haha. then walked somemore and forced jamie to try this top which SHE LIKED. wow. i can be a shopping consultant.

walked around somemore, trying shoes and clothes. haha. so fun. then we got tired of walking around cause p.s only had limited shops and the rings are seriously unpretty. so went to starbucks to get a drink and sit. i think both of us pretty much collapsed on the chair cause it was like two over hours of non stop walking. whee. it was super fun to sit and just talk about school and teachers. haha. she has mr yong as physics teacher.

then we decided to take mrt back to amk hub to walk around somemore. walk walk. went to try on clothes in one shop. wow. i finally found one shirt i was looking for. jamie calls it the 'boyfriend shirt' cause according to her, it is the type of shirt that you borrow from your bf to wear that kind. haha. then she tried on this super nice shirt but didn't buy cause she didn't know how to tie it. haha. walk and walk and walk. i know what kind of shirts she like alr. collared and classic design. she likes gasping at those shirts and super smart shirt for guys. i agree with the guys one cause it looks very nice.

walked and try on shoes again, fun fun. walked and walked then suddenly, jamie's phone rang and it was my sister. T.T zzz. she couldn't contact me cause my phone was in my bag and boon jin gave her the number. ahhh. next time i will just leave my hp alone cause it is super annoying to be disturbed when you are shoppping. haha. jamie agrees. whee. walked somemore. and somemore. was super shagged when we finished walking.

haha. must make jamie wear her dress that she wore at genting. she say until very nice like tat. haha. she don't wear during aristel, i not taking photo with her XPPP

decided to walk amk central to this fashion. haha. have pasar malam. walked the pasar malam just laming the way through. whee. then jamie took bus home then i went to meet my sis and my mum.

ate dinner at the food court. first time eating there. haha. but the food is nice. like ordered hokkien mee, oyster omelette, some noodles and a beef soup i think. buffet! then went down to ntuc to buy things and put bags in car. heard this song lyric. it goes like this 'you will wear the skirt and i will wear the pants' wow. i don't mind. haha. but i tink i hear wrongly. then my mum went to buy popcorn and drinks then we went to watch the movie.

super cold in cinema. haha. the movie was nice. ahh. it is not like jiin say some 65 old man prancing around on the silver screen. it is exciting and some parts scary. i was covering my ears. ahh. my mum can't watch adventure shows cause she ends up screaming. T.T

finish movie went home. tired. haha. but today was a fun day. really like going out with just one person. yest at night was yiwen. today jamie. it is just easier to talk to one person rather than a group. i don't mind group outings but sometimes, you just want to have one person all to yourself. haha. provided that one person is not boring and i don't feel like a walking with a stone.

ahh. i really don't want my life to be complicated any further. seriously. just focus on a levels. after a levels, i will then be ready to listen. then focus on relationships. i don't know. i cannot guarantee anything now. so really, don't place too much hope on me just yet. not when there is someone else.

it will all get better in time

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

zz. stupid deng yaoliang. again sms. again woke me up and i slept at 2. don't even have 8 hours of slp alr. stupid.

haha. later meeting jamie at 1 at p.s. whee. fun fun. shopping. like finally. shopping and i share a love hate relationship.

then at 6 plus meet my mum for dinner then go watch indiana jones. i am horridly forced to watch that show which i don't understand and will probably slp thru it all. ahh. super funny. i was emailing my dad to complain about the show then all he replied was' it is indiana jones. . .. not joans. . . he is a guy' LMAO. my dad is horridly mean,

now chatting wif deng online. sigh. tml i have like four appointments. one is go gym and later eat sushi. another is go for co practise cause the juniors wanna prac so can prac with them. another is go home and wait for my sis to go. another is go eat ice cream. ahhh. stupid la. why everytime i free, no one wants to go out. then when i not free, everyone rushing. like hp like tat. when i with it, no msg no calls. when i not with it, ppl sms and call like mad finding me. rawr.

is it kind of like, if u want something, it won't want u and when u don't want it, it wants u that kind? annoying.

baka. dun like u. baka.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i can't understand you at all
or maybe i am just being too self-absorbed and too unreasonable
i guess. it just says it all

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

boo. haha. just reached home like ten minute ago. finished bathing. gosh.

ok. woke up at ten plus to 11 cause stupid deng's sms woke me up. was online bridging for a while and chatting with boon jin then went to change. left the house late cause of some things. zz.

reached city hall and boon jin and joson were alr there. so sat there waiting for usarin and yiwen. haha. then we walked around raffles trying to find a place to eat. went to eat soup spoon! gosh. my first time eating there so i quite noobish. mushroom soup! and ham and cheese sandwich. the soup was so filling. i was quite full and i just stared at my sandwish with hatred.

then yun came then we walk thru city link. looking at clothes and stuff then went esplanade. actually went to the ground floor to bridge but then the floor too cold and my butt was like freezing. freeze! then we went to the roof garden. was actually bridging by the elevator. haha. then deng came so we switch to asshole daidee.

i first time play also. zz. feel like i am so noobish. whee. first time play then first round i am KING. whee. then after that security guard chase us to outside then we continue playing. whee. gosh. joson was king for like five times and i was his queen for like four times. HAHA. just kept disturbing him. then we play this pig game. got human then go level 1 to 7 pig. haha. deng was pig first. then continue then he level 2 pig. then boon jin level 1 pig then i stupidly talk to him then i became pig and at that same time, boon jin went to talk to deng then he upgrade. end up, only me and yun level 2 pig. yiwen level 3 pig. joson, boon jin level 4 pig and deng is LEVEL 5. whee.

oh yeah, deng wore the shirt i bought for him. haha. super happy when i realized it. at least he uses it. unlike some idiot. zz.

then continue with asshole daidee. then joson left for tuition so we walked to marina sq to play bridge. bought ice cream. haha. then yun went home and yiwen and i got totally PSED BY boon jin and deng. ZZZZ.

yiwen and i walked to city hall mrt then on the way i got a shock of my life. saw siyuan then saw jun with his bestie mingfeng i guess. zz. that idiot said my name so loudly la. haha. but it was like a hi bye sort of thing.

so yiwen and i walked from city hall then we walked and walked until esplanade bay. ok. we went near the merlion and tasted salty sea water. then we walk one round of fullerton hotel. walked to raffles place and then found clark quay. we pro. two ppl who have utterly no sense of direction walked from city to clark quay. IN HEELS.

we were just stoning at the sea. taking in the breeze. we walked along the row of pubs and bars and was abit scary. cause like all ang mohs and there was ALOT of drinking there. it was like er. die. cause there all the ppl either go in group or at least have one guy with them. then only both of us girls then we look like spg or something like that. haha.

then we walked like a super long row of restaurants and got alot of ppl kept asking us if we wanted to eat and we got abit irritated. lol. then we finally found the place where she say the cakes are super nice but then we weren't really hungry so just stood next to the river and enjoy breeze for a while. it is nice to walk with someone who is not in a hurry who can appreciate all these.

then we walked to central. haha. quite nice. found a place to sit and relax for a while. then we went back to the place to eat dessert. super nice. gosh. some chocolate cake with ice cream and have hot chocolate oozing out of the cake. like heaven. like gosh. we were talking and saying like some ppl say that chocolate is better than sex and seriously, i kind of agreed at that moment. like gosh, nothing can be better than the cake. best. then we talked alot of things. just reveals secrets and stuff. it was nice. really.

ahh. the cake was enjoyable but slight pricey. both of us shared and service charge plus plus was 10.50 for a cake. wow. haha. but it was super fun. really enjoyed myself with yiwenwen. like talked alot. don't even need cash except for that cake. just enjoyed each other's company without anything. just talking. it was really nice.

then we went to bus stop to take bus. haha. nice. took 166. ahh. the journey was super long like 40 minutes? and i kind of felt sick by half an hour. that was my max. haha.

super fun. then was msging jamie about tml. going p.s i think. meetin at 1. whee. fun.

tralal. just chatting online now. good mood due to cake cake. ahh. happy happy. really like twins like tat. haha.

somethings just cannot be bought with money. like company. seriously. no one ever say going out need to spend money. it is just one's own perceptive. zz.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

if i can, i would murder deng.
zz. his sms woke up me la. and it is repeatedly msg.

super sleepy now. chose what i wanted to wear already. zz. have to go prepare soon or else i surely late LA.

tralala. tired and slpy.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

super sleepy now. zzz.
was bridging with boon jin and denny.

tml outing at 1pm meet at city hall. ahh. slpy. cash deficient.
i need a sugar daddy or someone to sponsor asap. XP

slow dancing in the burning room

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

dun freaking talk to me. pissed off. so bloody wth.
how ZZZ can you get?

@!%!%!$!)(!$ -figure this out
(although i doubt anyone other than deng can)

PISSED OFF.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

two things to celebrate about.

number 1:


number 2:


today marks the end of all the tests i will ever be touching this term. like HURRAY. ok. feel abit lost now since don't have test and i don't have to open my books and mug like crazy. ahh.

took bus super early this morn. saw nicholas lim on the bus. haha. quite hard to blog since have two nicholas. zz. should i call nicholas kx? maybe easier. anyway, was sitting with shuwei then zhao dong and ailin came and gosh, zd was just panicking over physics.

tried to meng read formula and then boon jin was just making me more nervous cause during assembly, he was asking me 'what does V stand for' and 'state the conservation of linear momentum' and something else.

-just finished bathing-

then went to class and mdm khoo say can sit anywhere. abit zz. then the fans don't work one. haha. was super hot hot hot. then did paper 2. it was relatively ok. doable. if would be considered easy if i had studied more for it. sigh. zz. wadeva boon jin asked me in the morn, ALL CAME OUT FOR THE PAPER. i was cursing like mad cause i normally don't listen to what he say one. ahh.

mcq killed me. seriously. it was harder than paper 2 and it wasn't like u study can pass that kind. it is u study and u don't understand what the qn saying, also will die. zz. but it ended XD

bridged for a while after school to wait for side gate to open. tralala. stupid nicholas chan! during class, i think he took my pencil box then i panick cause i couldn't find it. ahh. then he split his drink when i hit him and he went to wipe on my legs. zzz. sticky. stupid nicholas chan!

then walked out and took bus with boon jin and usarin. the weather is horridly hot hot hot. zz. went to amk hub to eat lunch. was too lazy to bring home so ate there. quite nice. haha. the subway tasted nicer when you eat it there. i think i think too much.

walked home from amk hub. super nice. although the weather was hot but there was a nice breeze. i don't understand why people don't like to walk. like from dhoby ghaut to orchard. it is WALKABLE. i always walk one. zz. i mean, there is so many nice things to look outside other than looking inside a metal tube.

haha. was smsing boon jin while eating. stupid idiot is horridly bias. BIAS PIG. then jamie msged me to ask to go shopping. whee. shopping on thurs! fun fun. super surprised when she msged me but it was sweet.

tml probably going to celebrate yiwen's birthday then thurs shopping. fri is taken up cause i have this need to go hc so depends if besties are free. sunday probably beach outing with usarin they all.

ok, the thing is that, there is no point for me to go to an outing if i am not going to enjoy myself. get it? zz.

slightly happy today. ok. my happiness is always slightly and emoness comes in truck loads. shall continue reading manga. whee. oh yeah, those who want to borrow books or vcd please tell me so i can bring on fri. lending usarin ouran high and boon jin the eclipse. er. i think twilight to yiwen? gosh. i can't really rmb. must remind me!

the thing i am doing is to that my bookself is more empty so can buy more books and my mum won't make noise about the messiness of my room. lol she won't complain about the number of books since she borrows the romances. haha.

my hair is dripping wet and deng is being spastic. cause was chatting with him then i say i go bathe. then i come back, he was like why bath so long, wad u doing inside. ZZ. this is coming from a guy who bathes for HALF AN HOUR. still dare say me.

super tired. oh yeah, have a huge stack of physics prelim papers from mdm khoo. holiday hw X(. then have one huge stack of organic chem. ahh. like they gave it after our common test end? gosh. really mugger sch. u know what is the funniest thing? i have aj prelim papers since last year and it is the same. except. . . i have all the answer. XD. lol. but i did some alr last year so i finished one holiday hw alr which is aj prelim.

if i am bored later, i will do chem. ok. i am the damn weird type that will feel like mugging within the course of end of ct. zz. like adrenaline rush super slow. zz. like the urge to mug comes after ct. ahh. i am weird.

now i am annoying my sis online. she having sch and i keep saying i going to sch to fetch her. haha. she super annoyed now. but then she is silly for believing me. AS IF I WILL GO THERE. later see my cousin. avoid at all cost.

tired tired. ok, shall mug hypothesis testing. stupid jun alr finished colinear relations. zz. and he finished hypothesis like one month go. and it is the assignment. zz. stupid mugger.

omg. i tink i deleted the sms that audrey sent about cca prac. god. all the unimportant msg but from impt person i keep. all the important sms from everyone else i delete. stupid. ahh. just msged huangyin to ask her to forward it to me.

my aunt just called on hp. lol. want to know when i finish my a levels so that can book go japan. whee. tohoku! hearts on japan. i see if can ask my mum go hk again. i like hk. super nice. ahh. i waiting to go switzerland. seriously waiting to go switzerland. nv go before. shall bid my time.

still smsing jamie. haha. i think she thinks i am crazy for wanting to mug. lol. she so good, went class outing to orchard to eat sushi buffet. now she is too lazy to go back sch to check on harmoc. HAHA.

ok. got the sms from huangyin. co dates:
26 may 9.30 - 12.30
27 may 9.30 - 12.30
29 may 1.00 - 4.00
2 june 2.00 - 5.00
3 june 9.30 - 12.30
5 june 10.00 -end of concert
have about six sessions of co until stepping down. sigh

can't wait for my dad's friend to send the bags and wallets back to spore. gosh. my dad bought me a hermes wallet. gosh. it is horridly pretty. and i haven used my louis vuitton yet. ahh. i think he bought a GUESS BAG. ahh. but i doubt all are real probably super nice imitations but who cares. ahh. the last time he came back, i have like 5 new bags? my dad is the worst shopaholic i know. seriously.

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

in about twelve hours i will be sitting for my physics paper feeling all sorts of despair i guess.



just finished my bird's nest. it tastes weird. ok, everything will taste weird if you brushed ur teeth before eating it. tralala.



gosh. i am just disturbing joson chua like mad. it is fun.



physics suck. i don't get anything from quantum. it is just a black hole where nothing goes it and nothing goes out. sigh. try my best ba.

happy slightly. stupid for being happy over you. baka

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

你說你好累 已無法再愛上誰

was bridging with joson chua ji fan on viwawa for a while. gosh. both of us are such cheats. i play 4 nt and call him as partner. end up, we won ALL THE SETS. zai. my hearts were good, his diamonds were good. haha.

mugging physics makes me sick. literally. tralala. need to focus more on quantum since i think it will come out more and it is my weakest topic. sigh.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

just came back from amk hub. nothing much. bought yiwen's present. pretty pretty. haha.

ate lunch at soup restaurant. AGAIN.yeah, amk hub has limited choices but i doubt i will go there again cause they raise the price like crazy.

went to watch accuracy of death. abit disappointed cause it was rather boring but takeshi kaneshiro saved the entire show basically. ok show i guess.

went to ntuc and wanted to buy things but then queue too long.

gah. was slightly irritated with my mum and sis just now. was msging deng just now. msg convo. it went from irritated to like totally silly. haha. yeah deng, I LOVE YOU! bleh. yuck. add the words over my dead body behind and you will get the entire pic. thanks for your extremely sweet sms. ok, it was rather undeng like but still. lol. it went something like 'you still have a friend over here.' super undeng like but it was extremely sweet and it brightened up my mood. thanks buddy!

shall go on to mugging spree. manage to block out everything i am feeling already. just concentrate on tomorrow's test although i know it will be a total screw up.

sorry jun! was suppose to mug with him today physics but totally psed cause i wasn't in the mood and felt like dying already.

i owe alot of people dates. jiin, flo, rach, nicholas?, deng, darr, brendan, etc. my holidays are horridly limited. sigh sigh. booking system pls.

ok. i was bored so i went to find out what my name means and stuff. hebrew origin. so technically sue means lily. then anne means gracious or something. so it technically means lily of grace or something like that. cool. haha. ok. back to physics. i am getting horridly distracted.

i dun think i feel that much already.
or maybe i am just numb for the moment

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

zzz. just went to my parents' room to sit down and watch tv with my mum. after a while i quickly left the room. the stupid hk show was showing a part whereby the husband told the wife that he was having a mistress! bloody stupid guy.

turned off.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

"Anyway, I don't know why my Sister is so emo suddenly. She's playing Jay's songs. Currently it's 'Yi Lu Xiang Bei'. & She's chatting, twirling her hair with her finger, and just staring at the computer screen like she's being sucked into Cyberworld. Must be some super interesting conversation, eh?" quoted from zoe's blog yesterday.

my sis is an idiot. utterly idiot. have no idea what she was typing. and she probably typed that post when i was chatting with nicholas or something like that.

zzz. i just clicked backspace on my laptop and the screen went back. lucky have auto save or i think i will just quite blogging. sneezing like mad now. ahh. think i am going to fall sick.

just woke up and waiting for go movie. zz. they say can change it to another movie but then i don't feel like watching anything after today. no mood.

sneezing sneezing. bleh. feeling horridly sick now.

shall blogged later when i have the time. still left superposition, waves and quantum of physics. sigh. guarantee plus stamp fail la. just studying so not to fail that badly i guess. bleh. i hate this.

someone chat with me something funny yest. like saying got guy checking him out. T.T gosh. how gay. but it turns out checking him out to see when he will leave the gf so that can strike when the iron is hot. you know what i told him, leave gf la. then that guy can be saddled with a troublesome gf. ok, i am super mean.

striking when the iron is hot. what a phrase. don't wait for me

no one can guarantee that feelings won't fade
only can guarantee love stay strong for the moment

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

wanna thank jiin and nicholas for worrying about me.

jiin after reading my lj apparently thought i was on the verge of killing myself or something. don't worry, i am just doing some major reflection. no thoughts of self mutilation. given that up like long ago.

thanks esp to nicholas who have been hearing me out since afternoon. lol.

just focus on mugging physics. block everything out for now.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my heart just stopped when i read that.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

it has been such a long time since i played this song. played it just now on piano. i don't usually play it in school.

this song is special in some way. but hearing it makes me sad.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i got one word to summarise everything. fuck
seriously.
can someone pls ask? or at least try to.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am going crazy. seriously. hardly touched physics. screwed and somehow, i don't give a damn. god. sick sick sick.

just nice i wasn't in a mood and both my aunts came. grr. i wasn't in the mood for pampering and stuff. was watching tv when they came and i could hardly hear the tv cause they were talking loudly. grrrr. annoyed. as much as i know they love me and things but sometimes, i cannot breathe when they are around. i dont' have space to do my own things.

was super pissed off with myself when i accidentally booked movie tickets in ORCHARD for tomorrow when suppose to be amk hub. god. although my mum say nvm and try to cancel since we booked amk hub also but still. they say can change the movie to another day and latest is wednesday. i don't know. god. wasn't concentrating when i was booking it. my mind was on another thing altogether.

damn it. i am suppose to block everything out like i did when commons start. however, i am having difficulties in blocking everything once again.

i feel like crying, feel like screaming because i can't seem to get any work done.

about relationships, now i am truly cynical. it doesn't have when i was chatting with two guys online which say they aren't sure they will last in their current r/s. i don't understand guys. why don't they have confidence? why are they taking the easy way out? when things get difficult, instead of complaining that it won't last, why don't you try to make it work. god. guys suck. seriously. i shld really turn les. zz

the only good thing is that i am finally talking/ chatting with nicholas. things sort of cleared up but it can't really go back to before. we can't meet up anymore i guess. things are just going to be this way. it is kind of sad. i guessed i miss him in a way that i cannot msg him when i am in sch when i am feeling down or frustrated. yet today, he heard me out. but things cannot go back.

i am having a massive headache. nothing is helping. nothing. i shouldn't have blocked everything. i shouldn't have unblocked everything. and i am not stressed out over school. ironic isn't it?

if possible, destroy everything. worry all at one go and then forget about it.

doubts.
that is all i have.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

another thing to make my mood drop.
my aunt called and she started talking about me not going overseas to study. she say cause she will miss me so i better not go overseas. this is practically wad my dad says. what the rest of my relative says. because they will miss me.

miss is really not a strong reason for me to stay. if i can, i will leave singapore. unfortunately this have to be based on studies since my dad probably won't sponsor.

maybe i won't leave but since what has been happening recently, leaving would be a good thing. i don't care if it is escaping.

我掉進愛情懸崖　跌太深爬不出來
　
下降的速度太快　來不及踏上未來
　
妳的愛反覆徘徊　打亂我的呼吸節拍
　
該怎麼逃開　我控制不來 　

我掉進愛情懸崖　回想起妳的可愛 　

傻傻的還在等待　以為妳還會回來
　
妳的臉慢慢離開　時間快將我掩埋
　
消失的太快　我負荷不來

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i pretty much had a sleepless night.
just thinking about things.
it hurts you know
i realise i can't blog here.
going to blog in lj.
secrets are suppose to be kept as secrets

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

maybe it is good that we had that convo. maybe it is bad.
i dont' know. who knows what the future will hold.
i can't believe i was doubted. zzz
all i know now, is that i better stay at home tomorrow.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

AT 12.36 AM
THE MOOD I AM FEELING NOW IS FED UP

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

stupid deng yaoliang
stupid deng yaoliang
stupid deng yaoliang!
ahh, i want to laugh. god, what a ridiculous conversation.
ahhh. if i ever did that
i will just T.T
ahhhhhhhh
gosh gosh gosh.
so damn spastic.
but it made me happy.
super spastic. gosh.
STUPID DENG YAOLIANG!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

being online is probably the most boring thing i will do so far. even mugging is more exciting already. god, i must not be awake since i am typing this kind of rubbish.

just woke up from my two hour nap. i slp everyday now in the afternoons. i am stupid for not putting down curtains and let the afternoon sun burn me while i am asleep. now my eyes feel abit irritated.

dreamt of things that happen last year. the main thing that my life revolved around last year. have no idea why i was reminiscing this but it just so happened.

ahh. super tired. drained just for three days of test. it sucks u know.

don't want to think. don't want to imagine. i don't even want to feel anything. cause thinking needs strength, imagination runs wild. feelings are there to hinder what you do. so i am better of not doing anything of the above.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

woke up at 10 something. slept at around close to two. have no idea why i was online for so late for. don't even what i was waiting for even.

was reading my book. 'the vampire diaries - the awakening' finally a book about a girl who tries to get the guy. zz.

feeling very helpless right now. i don't want commons to end. not yet, not when everything is in a mess and i have to face reality again.

there is nothing left to be done i guess.

reading manga now. continuing on where i left off. the story just proves that guys are idiots. they are totally clueless and insensitive. they escape issues by acting blur. and they do things that they 'think' are right for you and deciding things by themselves. yeah. totally clueless.

i miss you so damn much

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

zz. reading manga online now.
god, the manga relates to me super alot. even what is being said is the same.
feel like crying so badly.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

perhaps using commons to forget about things was a bad idea. it was bad to just shut all emotions and feelings and just mug. cause commons is ending already. and although i still have one paper. it just feels like it has ended and all emotions are just rushing back at me again.

i don't know how to deal with it. i don't know how to handle it. seriously. i dont' like being in this kind of situation whereby nothing i do or say can make anything better.

chatting with jiin now. trying to ease my onslaught of emotions i guess. she asked me a very impt qn. i answered as truthfully as i could. and to be honest, i was shock at my answer itself. time doesn't heal anything at all. it just prolongs it.

everyday ppl are leaving this earth. the cyclone in myanmar, the earthquake in china. wad usarin says is true. it you are meant to leave this earth, no matter how u die, u can just walk and drop dead. but whether or not your time is up is another thing.

i just need to talk seriously. there is so many things building up that i think i can just go crazy. and i don't know what i am asking for anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ok. dried hair and it is already 9! zzz. time passes when you are half asleep and i haven slept yet.

going to wrap up my books!

reached school at 7.10 today. super duper early. was mugging chem.zz then went to hall and put on sweater and felt totally cheated cause it wasn't so cold in front. and i didn't know the paper one was a structured. so just happily do when i saw the energetics qn then as i did, just felt so tired and DEMORALISED. ahh.

tried to do as much as i could but then i think it is a gone case. the problem is that when you have the mentality that you going to fail, you confirm won't do very well. MCQ SUCKS. horrible.

they took so long to collect paper and stuff. went canteen to eat lunch with yiwenwen! then denny came and then after that it was bridging time. went upstairs for a while to take hp then saw anthony! zz. he ask me reaction kinetics qn. lol.

then usarin finished her gym work out so went plaza sing to watch movie. zz. got this guy stopped us for donation and HE IS A BLOODY SEXIST. cause if give ten dollars, can get this eng wah voucher that have six dollars off for four tickets. then he go say boon jin and denny if have four girl friends each and can go use ticket. then say if have 16 girlfriends can go watch. and he totally neglected me, usarin and yun and HELLO! we each gave 2 dollars for the stupid thing. idiot. i go have 4 bfs and show him. baka.3

went upstairs to book tickets. chose what happens in vegas. then went food junction to bridge. i love the jigsaw puzzle show there. don't know. it just seems so perfect in a hectic world. or pretty pictures just makes you happy.

then went upstairs buy popcorn and watch movie. AHA. no batman trailer. thank god.

the movie was not bad. very funny. zz. boon jin don't want to tell me what that phrase means. i am assuming that it is something gross so i am not typing it here. and i cannot google it cause i am scared of what it may show.

took mrt to taka for kino! lol. went around to look for books myself. usual habit i guess. can't really look for books when i am with someone. so even if with my sis i also go myself and wander. found books! going to read and read until i drop dead.

after that, took bus home with denny and usarin. we were all kind of falling asleep and was super tired.

reached home and noticed a bruise on my hand. don't know why. i wonder why. tired tired. was watching american idol season 7 in my parents room then wanted to watch in my room but the tv don't know why suddenly scv some channels don't have and don't have channel 18. i tink my tv in room in underutilised. must quickly go fix it.

if looking happy means you are happy then. . . i guess it is only on the surface.

it is not jealousy, it is just a truckload of uneasiness. i just don't think i can handle it.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

rawr rawr. just woke up and feeling so sluggish. left about four hours to mug for chem and i am seriously not in the mood. eqm! must touch eqm and reaction kinetics and energetics.this topics are zzz.

then later read thru organic chem and wdv there is left to prac. don't really have high hopes for chem. zzzz.

received a friendster comment from JOANN CHUA. that stupid girl. went back to msian since 2006 and hardly came back. my anime partner. baka joann chua. lol. friendster comments make me feel happy. small tokens of happiness in life.

i was thinking what if i had a middle name. ok. in my name -anne- is not a middle name. zz. there is a hyphen there for a reason. for e.g if my middle name was katherine or something like that. then it would be like sue-anne katherine teo hui zhi. how awfully long. or like sue-anne dawn teo hui zhi. ee. there is not middle name that can match with my alr quite long name. maybe that is why i don't have a middle name. ee. my cousin's name is quite nice -leon gerard teo-

zz. i told my mum yest over dinner that ppl say i speak chinese like ang moh speaking chinese. then she say YES. zz. but then she say can't b helped cause it is from my roots and something about my dad's grandmother being a malay or nonya then until my dad all cannot speak chinese as they all speak malay instead. ZZZ. so that is why have this accent or sound very unchinese speaking. ok fine, i am not really 100 pure chinese if you want to trace until very back. zz. but my mum's dad is from china so maybe that is why i look very chinese until ppl think i prc. zz. hello. my eyes are BIG.

zz. i am the only one in my dad's family that went to take higher chinese. now come to think of it, my dad's side of the family all very angmoh one. speak english got ang moh accent accent one. don't care. i like chinese although i have sorrily lacking in the language now. come from no prac for two years. wo ai hua wen! p.s i can't understand malay for nuts.

damn, i am yawnin like mad. slpy. eeeeee. slpy slpy.

vampire knight episode 6 came out already! ppl should just go and watch the show once they are free. ahh. i feel like a promoter. got this sentence from the show which i felt was very meaningful. 'it would be good if what you are trying to protect didn't hurt you.'

how true. the fact that something needs to be protected means your privacy is sort of being invaded. don't know. i guess i feel this way. the more things are being exposed, the more i would try to cover up for it. it is not normal i guess, to want to shield so much. that is the problem, i don't like people to know alot about what i am doing especially what i am thinking. the vulnerability of it all scares me.

something made me happy today. i can't rmb wat it was though.

just the presence itself
is easing to my frayed nerves

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world