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When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

read through my previous posts starting from march. it is amazing how much has changed already. when i was reading my posts, i was going NO WONDER DAMN IT. that sort of thing. and yes indeed. may really regret what i have written in the past.

shall refrain from anyhow typing from now onwards. just brief stuff ba. since i bought a diary today with jiin. she says diary more personal that sort of thing. i wrote three pages for today. not about what i did but . . .

who ever that takes my diary, all i can say is. . . that person will die and then perhaps i will too. haha. just cannot let people read la. there is such a thing called privacy rite? shld have just written everything in invisible ink and need uv light that kind.

i finally found that paper and i am so freaking happy. only remembered about it when i was reading my posts. which shall i listen to? my mind or my heart? from my previous posts, jiin said to me online this 'I THINK ITS SAFER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU MORE THN YOU LOVE HIM' i never agreed with her then. now, i agree with her full heartedly

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am so glad that i went out today. actually msg jiin that i was going to be ten minutes late cos my sis wanted to do makeup and stuff and i surrendered myself to her administrations. i wished i didn't. the liquid eyeliner was poking my eyelids painful. then my left eye was quite bloodshot since i woke up.

things to make yourself feel better
1. dress up
2. wear heels.

was like of like rushing out of the house. didn't really knew what to wear so just my sis to choose and stuff. felt like dressing up. had to rush for the train cos i didn't want to wait for another train. grab the chance i gues.

i actually reached there early than jiin although i was quite late. this proves that jiin is always late. ok. lame. then we walked to taka to eat mos burger. the first meal i had since the subway i had with usarin. yummy

then we went to kino to look for organizers. there are so many. was like flipping through some. i don't understand those organizers that have the columns in vertical. i don't know how to write in them. then we saw this pretty print diary that i eventually bought. who ever says that is not pretty shall die.

then walked to taka there to look at there somemore. haha. but we still went back to kino cos i wanted the organizer there and jiin bought xmas cards. i need addresses asap for xmas cards. going to bug ppl for some. jiin, flo, boon jin, usarin, yl, jun, yun. . . GIVE ME UR ADDRESSES!

then we went to see sesame street perform. kind of spas but cute. elmo is cute. haha. then we went to see some stuff toys and stuff. gah. got something super embarrassing. like me and jiin were in this sort of toy shop in the top floor and she was like seeing all those clips and stuff and she was exclaiming kind of out loud that she will dress up her child as such and there was this lady near us that looked and told jiin something like 'i doubt you want to'. super funny. jiin was super malu and we went out of the shop laughing.

then we wanted to go for our coffee date so we went to queue at coffee club and jiin and i got tired of queueing that we just went to coffee bean instead. then the sofas were taken and i went to make jiin to buy stuff. whee. hot chocolate and cheese cake.

then we were sitting there and chatting like we did in mos. then the sofas were finally emptied and i rushed there first and gah, jiin tried to balance the tray with one hand. i was like. . . THE TRAY. but luckily, nothing fell except for a fork. jiin has subway cookie! so was just sitting there on the sofas just watching ppl walking way and we were talking about snails, horses and goats.

was really feeling better by the moment. sorry jiin! i know i was abit quiet and moody and stuff. really appreciated that you went out with me and listen to me. feeling much better already. hearts!

thanks to jun also for your smses and stuff. thanks for calling me and stuff, unfortunately i was not free. gah. feel so mean cos he was msging me when he was doing research and stuff.

went home to do the tealight candle stuff so that i can get the wax so that the ends of the bookmark of my organizer would not fray. ended up me forgetting that i am not suppose to put the lighter horizontal cos the flame would not go horizontal so. . . i ended up burning myself. at first i felt the heat but i ignored it cos i was thinking of something. so ended up the tip of the nail of my thumb turned black and i kind of scorched the flesh of my thumb as well. ouch! it still hurts.

sigh. must not play with fire or more specifically, do not play with fire when you are thinking of something. i shall kill my sis when she gets back. the eyeliner she put very difficult to remove and i finally removed it and my eyes are tearing.

my diary is extremely pretty. shall go write in it later. very different stuff from what i am writing here. i think it is more personal and more self reflecting ba. hope my handwriting doesn't suck.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i feel so bad. i had to psed jiin today for another day. i woke up coughing like mad and it just sounded like i was crying when i was not when i was speaking. my voice is going away.

if you had walked home from amk mrt all the way home, you will be able to think things through i guess. but it wasn't enough.

called jiin to talk things through and it greatly helped alot. ilove you babe. and the best thing was that i didn't cry at all while thinking it through. i guess having had past experience helped alot.

continued chattin with jiin online. gah. i feel like calling her up and tell her to go out. i want to meet her so badly. very badly. it will probably kill my throat and cause me to suffer very badly. but to be honest, i don't want to care anymore.

the answer that i came up with after thinking for so long. just move on ba. as in, there is no point waiting especially the answer won't change even in the future. i am just grateful that things will be normal between us. it was an even better ending than i thot of. luckily once i liked someone, i won't like that person back again. it kinds of help things along i guess.

YES! going to meet jiin at one. sue is a happy girl once again. i won't be late! chances that jiin will be late is very high anyway.

sorry jun. i also feel so bad cos i msged him whether in the evening want to go beach and he said ok although i had to wait for him abit cos he will be in boon lay doing research and he has to travel all the way to pasir ris. and now i have to go home for dinner so i guess the beach thing have to postpone abit. i always ask him to do the impossible one.

shall go and get read already ba. or else will be late and i don't want to be late. that reminds me, i didn't eat anything the entire day yest. since i woke up late and forsake bfast and lunch. then dinner. . .don't talk about it. i only had pipa gao and usarin's candy. i think i have a death wish.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am dead tired. and i need to think things through

p.s jiin. if you still have your bottle of vodka. bring it tomorrow.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

GAH. i woke up coughing like mad and feeling like shit. GREAT START TO A FREAKING NEW DAY.

i don't know why i am just feeling so tired suddenly. it is like. . .i don't know. then i am being snappish to people i care about. i am starting to ignore everything around me. it is like, my hp can be ringing, there can be smses but i just will leave my hp there. perhaps i should just throw my hp away.

i never wanted in my life to wait for smses and phone calls. it will just look pathetic. to be checking your hp every now and then. i can live without it.

are people never tired of using one another? humans are just plain selfish creatures which need to rely on another to survive. but why can't there be one relationship which it is not that way?

i am just plain scared now. if the past is coming back to haunt me then i would rather give up. won't that be a better choice? the memories are still floating in my mind.

i really need that outing with jiin. thank god she is online again. i am almost starting crying already. the fact that you did so much for one person and came out with nothing makes you wary of doing things for another. no matter how much you make like another the mistakes of the past will still float in your mind and you will hold back so much more.

will people ever understand that fact. to love is to be in want. gahh.

LOVE CAN BE SO BORING

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i feel like crying. i am just so tired of everything already. it is like i don't know what to say anymore i don't know what to do anymore.

i am tired of saying i don't know to jiin and to flo. why am i so unsure of things? sometimes i really feel like saying 'just forget it'. it is like there is no point in saying anymore is there?

maybe i made a mistake. but there is no point pondering over it.

i am really tired.

jiinshiuan says:
kissing hugging chocolates masterbation sex releases endorphins
jiinshiuan says:
cheap thrills rht
[sue anne] potential breakup song says:
yeah
[sue anne] potential breakup song says:
human beings are so cheap

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

today was a mug plus play day. went to lib with boon jin and usarin to study.
I WAS EARLY! XD. so happy la. lucky the train arrived and stuff so i reached there first! then boon jin came next. idiot guy. ask him if want to meet at amk mrt then he say i go first then after that still msg me to ask if i was at the station. T________T

my bag was super heavy can? brought along the present for usarin and the dvd that boon jin wanted. ahh. thank god nv bring the sweaters along. will look like an idiot. graphic calculators are so freaking heavy.

then usarin came next and she so cute la. she went to QUEUE when there was no queue. . . funny. ended up she sprinting up the stairs while boon jin and i took lift to fourth floor. lazy. WHEE. got table! but i dunno why we rush for wad cos today was quite empty the lib. sad case. mugging. i like near to a month never use brain but i still like integration XD

then went to s11 to eat. was poking holes in boon jin vegetables. who ask him keep shout lizard at every opportunity he had. then walk to eat desert at the basement. PUDDING. XD. then we went back to lib. got cubicle. and started playing uno and daidee.

urgh. keep letting boon jin win la. wth. lousy. then started studying again. i was gettin damn sick of integration. then before boon jin left, we played daidee again. three rounds. the last round. . . usarin had FOUR TWOS. lol.

then usarin and i were studying and chattin. whee. love her loads. haha. just spill some stuff. then we went to hunt for dinner. didn't know what to eat then we went to eat subway. haha. then we walked around. she super cute la. EDWARD AND JAKE! funny sia.

now coughing like siao now. chattin wif flo and jiin online. haha. going out wif jiin on friday. i can't freaking wait. haha. her bro may be tagging along for a while. haven seen him for a while. the the last time i saw him was. . .eh. . .last year? shld be quite tall now. haha. doubt he rmbs me =(

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

went to amk hub just now to eat lunch. yum! no more vegetarian liao! pepper lunch pepper lunch! then went to walk around there. went to ink to look at bags. ahh, i saw one that i liked but $33.90! siao siao siao. i really extremely low on cash already. need to wait until bday or something. btw, anyone that wants to buy xmas present for me, it is the slightly golden coloured bag with the crown in the centre. HINT.

then went to buy subway back for dinner. walked back with my sis. super bored today. btw, shall this lizard repellent at the ntuc there and there were models of lizards. gross out la. . .urgh. i wanted to buy it but then i also don't want to see bodies of lizards lying around. . .=(

dunno why i just felt like chattin with kx. so now online, saw him online and started chatting with him. lol. that guy went back to msia and returning like 30 dec? good life. haha. super nice to chat with him one, will unconsciously want to tell him stuff.

ahhhh. told him that i not that interested in dating. . . then he say i like kid leh. not i like kids but the way i think like a kid. . .

Why yer name so long? says:
u super fen xin lei
Why yer name so long? says:
u spas nia

thanks uncle nicholas! irony la. i ten months older than him get said until like that. haha. lucky he studying in hc or i first thing will kill him if he was in nj. onli the hc ppl and perhaps onli four of nj ppl knew who i liked in the past. . . then this kx always go and tease me about it. rawr.

NO. I NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO! lol. keep asking. later u keep teasing me about it again. i shall not get bullied! lol. but miss chatting with him. always super fun one. flo's classmate in hc. i will always remember how i first knew him. it was so unusual and out of the blue.

flo brought her econs class to crash nj during the first three months. then went to s10 table to sit and that time just nice got free period. then her econs class only got like two girls including her. so like the entire table all guys. so then she intro me to kx and pr. so i just went 'i am from china'. then he damn funny, 'i also from china!' then we were like 'which part' and started speaking about china. then flo just wanted to laugh cos she knew both of us were lying to each other. then turns out, he from msian. FUNNY.

from then on, every time i crash hc is to see both of them. funny. how nice if we were able to go to the past and stay there. but then it is near to impossible liao. everything has changed.

sigh. . .shall continue to chat and watch anime. . . whee. tml going to mug with usarin. hearts.

add on:
chatting with jiin now. things i found out about her. 1. she doesnt' like guys that spew vulgatirites. 2. she doesn't like ppl she don't know to call her by her initials. haha. this is nice.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i woke up scared to death. really like stun and shocked.

i didn't want to dream at all. but i did. and i dreamt of the past. i dreamt of all the things i did with him. all those that was memorable and stuff. and guess what, i rmbed that i used to be happy with him. then i woke up and was like going OH SHIT. the sad thing is that for that case was that my happiness did not last very long. to be honest, that overall experience was tiring, depressing, emotional trauma. and even jiin said i was sad during that period of time. so why in freaking hell would i dream that i was happy?

when i woke up, i couldn't get back to sleep. anyway, it was practically 11 something so had to wake up. turned on the com and signed online. and all i can say is thank god jiin was online. dreaming isn't a good indicator. that was what she said. and she is asking me how now. . .

i am confused now. extremely confused. as in i moved on. for me he is just a close fren now. but for the past two days, he was always around. he was the last person i talked to before i left for shanghai and i feel extremely guilty about that fact that it was him and not other people. maybe because i didn't bring my list of numbers and i only memorised a few. but then again, when i came back from shanghai, he was the 2nd person that came to talk to me online.

i am telling jiin all these online but in greater detail. i know the chances of me ever liking him ever again like before is zero. i have that much faith. but it disturbs me alot to rmb all those things. and there is another fact that he will always be a part of my life whether i like it onot be cos we are just too similar and we understand each other more than what others understand us. and then now i got another matter to resolve.

i mean i made the decision. i made the choice. whether it is the right or wrong one only time will tell. so can fate pls stop messing with my mind? i am not going to regret what i did. or rather to say i am happy that i did that.

stop sending him back into my life to confuse me. i just don't know anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

gosh. i don't know what i will do without her online. seriously don't know what i will do if she wasn't online with me. until now, she is still willing to chat wif me, to listen to me talk. ahhh. feel so mean now.

eeks! i made her put status as online and may have hai si ta. omg. . .sorry. ahh. guys really do suck to the core. seriously speaking. sorry babe.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i just love my besties la. flo and jiin. you guys are simply the best! like 7 going on to 8 years of total frenship. win liao.

now listening to 'have you ever' by westlife. jiin send me the song. . .super meaningful.

panic attack. urgh. coughing. sigh. i just don't know what to type anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

was awoken by dyl's sms. stupid guy. leaving for vietnam and still have to wake me up. haha. have a nice trip ok? he is bringing his books to mug. tsk. nj mugger. don't understand why people will bring things go there and study. it is a HOLIDAY. holiday equals to enjoying yourself. if you can enjoy yourself and mug, i have nothing to say.

currently rotting at home. haha. flo finally blogged in our blog. i tink i replied to that like at 12 am? kind of miss her.

now currently watching the tudors. a series that i bought from shanghai about henry VII. i have no idea why i am very fascinated about his story. i have books about that period and stuff. but i think i am more fascinated about one of his wives, anne boleyn. a super interesting woman i can say. extremely smart. it just makes men like henry seem stupid in comparison.

men crave for ambition above all things. and most of the time, they miss out on what can be most important in their lives. does waiting have its benefits? i wonder. getting abit impatient already.

was chatting with jiin about what i used to do for the person i liked in the past. to be honest, she agreed to me that i was dumb and when i carried on telling her. she was like 'ohmygod you helped him with tt?. . . wth. . . sueanne. really thats stupid' and tt refers to making something. . . not anything else.

yeah, i admit. i will tend to get abit carried away sometimes. i asked yl what will a person do. then he said will ignore everything except for that person. true. that was what i did in the past. but then, i had lost so much more in the end. now i wonder, will i be willing to go through the same process again?

love can be extremely blind. sometimes so blind that you end up hurting yourself and not notice it until the end.

i am still not willing to be that vulnerable. ok, i am extremely stubborn for my own good. yet, i refuse to be as vulnerable as i was in the past. letting someone's actions take control of my emotions is really. . . i just felt like a toy.

ahh. . .i want that coffee date with jiin. but it is on FRIDAY i think. . .need to buy organiser and just talk to her. . . ahhh. i love you babe.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

从前从前 有个人爱你很久

throat still hurts like siao. jiin says my immune system sucks. yeah, that is quite true. super tired la. just looked through pics of shanghai. looked like fun la. shall blog about it tml. uploaded some of the pics on friendster. the uploading there is much faster.

guys sucks to the core. seriously. i think jiin and i agree la. like both of us having problems here and there, none of which are resolved and none of which have answers to. i just don't want to leave it dangling there. at least give me an answer damn it!

sigh, i hate this. i am like letting jiin read my chat logs and stuff. can like totally trust her. flo read it before also but now she in hk. ahh, flo keeps saying that i became damn cute la. not in looks but in the way i react and stuff. stun. can cheerfully strangle flo.

would you misinterpret familarity and comfort for liking? i doubt i will. although i cannot say too soon but for now, it is not like that. naturally of course if it doesn't work out, the feelings will fade and you will move on but isn't it kind of sad that you actually wasted some of your time to think about this and plan about this only to end up with nothing? this is a gamble. first time i have taken it. and i think i will lose.

ok. . . going to have coffee date with jiin. need this very badly. also having dinner date with usarin on wednesday XD.

usarin dear! don't think too much already ok? eat ice cream. anything just look for me ok? haha.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

five hour flight from shanghai can kill. whee. i am back! XD i can just kiss the ground. i currently have no voice and a sore throat. shall blog about shanghai later cause have pics to upload and stuff.

overall shanghai is not bad. except the air is quite polluted. that is the cause of my sore throat. i can almost feel a layer of dust sticking in the my throat. shopping is. . . er. . .technically, i don't really like to shop. so most of the stuff i bought were for friends etc. . . the food is quite good, if you go restaurants and stuff. as for toilets, some can b really nice whereas some. . .lets say you just don't want to go there.

miss my dad like siao. X( he should be on holiday in spore end of january. his apartment is nice. like a condominium and stuff. nice.

later have to go funeral. my dad's aunt passed away so i probably can only go online like around 9 plus? then when i went online, jun came to chat with me. he told me about mr loh. at first i thought it was my ct then he said it was the pe teacher. very sad. it is like i left for shanghai and come back to face all of these. you can't escape reality. although he didn't teach me but he was a very nice teacher, like he caught me playing bridge twice but didn't confiscate and explain to us why we couldn't play bridge. which is something most teachers won't do.

shall end off this post by replying to tags:

to jiin: hey babe! have loads to tell you. LOADS. how is your fluffy? grow back hair already? will confirm with you the day to go out. ahhh, need to unload and stuff. must tell me all about your cip stuff. i think i made a huge mistake.

to usarin: hi dearie! miss me rite? but then i not around, you went to play with coughs, eh. . . dao ming si is it? or was it mei zuo? i can't really remember which one was he but you know what i mean can liao. meet up before you leave ba. got prezzie for you XD

to yaoliang: uncle! shanghai no internet. how to reply your tag? you really that bored when i not around ah? no one to entertain you? go find your buddy. you leaving tml rite? ah, then how to pass you your present? =X i didn't say anything

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

last blog entry before i leave for spore. urgh, panic cramps. sucks.

thanks to those that wished me have safe trip and stuff, boon jin, usarin. yun, yaoliang, jiin, flo, xiang, sharon, xinglong, joson, audrey etc will try to get some stuff back.

now it is raining and my sis is hitting me with a pillow. dots. so lame. . . urgh, can't stand it. pain. i checked the temp there, highest is 17 degrees, lowest is 8 degrees. i am so going to freeze my ass off there.

ahhh. . . i wanna stay there longer. don't wanna come back alr.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

the urge to throw up is seriously high. this sucks. i hate preflight jitters. it is like horridly embarrassing. cause i have been flying since i was 7? and this always happen. i think my immune system is seriously low during this period.

finally found the mac eye liner. nearly forgot that i was suppose to bring it. bringing along my sunglasses, mp3 etc. if i am lucky, i probably brought enough clothes so that i need not pack for hk. whee.

flo has already left for hk. the next time she comes back will be like 26 dec? she is so lucky. i was furiously packing last night, bringing along two jeans while she told me that she only brought along three pairs of jeans because the rest are all there already. heavy luggage.

i really hope that i don't embarrass myself by bursting into tears the moment i see my dad. it has been over a month since i saw him. really wished that could have stayed longer in shanghai but my mum has got to work. next time again ba.

i have no idea what else i have left out to pack. my dad says only bring along warm clothes cause he has bought other things already. yet, i will be extremely stubborn and just pack somemore. better be safe than sorry.

i listening now to jay chou songs on youtube. quite nostalgic. was really happy in the beginning of the year, but this kind of happiness does not last. truth be told, i think i was stupid. now thinking back, i was just seriously made use of. sad case, but i learnt from my mistakes ba. never mind, i shall always have flo and jiin to scold me awake.

oh yeah, i actually quite scared to leave my maid alone at home now. in the morning i saw a police car outside my opp neighbour's house. then at first i thought they were just patrolling the area, then my mum called and say that the neighbour's car got stolen. they have two cars, one lexus and one camry. the camry one was stolen and was located at mayflower park with the car keys inside. so at first they thought only car, then when they went home to check, their jewelry, credit cards, cash and rolexes were gone. like the entire house was sleeping and got burgled. have seven people in the house and no one woke home. scary.

didn't know these type of thing will happen. but super weird one.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

AH. it is annoying. i found out that the new blog skin as u go down my posts, the width gets narrower and narrower. so ugly la. so i can't really do much html changes since so late and i leaving tml. so changed it back to the old skin and then work on the new skin when i return. ahh. . . two hours of hard work!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i feel extremely cheated. i thot leaving for shanghai at tml 6pm. turns out to be leaving at 1.15am on wednesday. . . ah. . . but technically i have to be at the airport at 11pm plus.

i kind of packed finish my stuff. i bought like 6 outfits? don't ask me why. i am just abit crazy sometimes. whee. can't wait to go there. my dad say only pack warm clothes. he bought stuff already. haha.

urgh, i just reading the email that he send me, he heard about the mahjong session yesterday. . . and this is wad he wrote.

'How was your mahjong yesterday?
Understand that you are always with the same 2 guys, is one of them your bf?'

i just stunned diao. my dad is super. . . i dunno wad to say. even in shanghai also worry so much. the answer is NO. but he very troublesome one. ask me and my mum to bring things for him. . . now the list has extended. got nine items. . . sigh. . . bags heavy sia.

ok. . . my flight details when i coming back. haha. anyone can sms me when i not around then i will reply asap when i get back. will check tagboard also. anyone want to go out? haha. just tag on my board la. then i see if free.

arriving at spore on 25 nov, sunday at 1.55pm. . . terminal 2. flight sq0815. . . lol. surprise me ba. haha. but i shld be super tired. anyway, don't miss me too much. be back soon. i will probably blog one more last post before i leave tml. super super cold now. realli gettin sick. aircon degree is onli 25 now and i am freezing. surely die when i am there.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

super tired. ahhh. exhausted. went out with my aunt and my sis. we took a taxi to paragon. went to hollywood secrets to do our eyebrows. shit. it freaking hurt la. like go and neaten only and. . . plucking hurt. ahh. i hate pain.

went to eat at ding tai fung. that was already around 2? hungry. met my aunt's friends there. got two daughters and a son. daughter same age as me. the son was. . . all i can say was thank god i bothered to dress up today.

then we took a bus down to penninsula plaza. haha. went to alter my sis's prom dress. it was too long for her and it was dragging on the floor. but her dress is super nice. like dark red? nicer than my prom dress cos my year only can wear like pastel colours? unfair.

then cause i didn't have shoes to wear to shanghai cos most of mine are like sandals or slippers. so after sending the dress there, we went to walk around there to see if have sneakers. stupid place. all of the shoes are like catered for guys? unfair and unjust. i tried on this puma one which is quite nice but abit small. but they don't have other sizes. was going in and out of 8 diff shops? but still couldn't find. i die also don't want converse one. . . so heavy.

then we walked to raffles city to eat ben and jerry! so long never eat la. . . haha. then we took mrt down to orchard to look for shoes. . . went to isetan to look for shoes. found one lecoq one. brown colour but. . . 159 dollars? crazy. i am broke already.

then we walked to far east to look. lol. that was a bad choice. ended up walking to tangs. found the puma one which i wanted! whee. cheaper than that. my feet hurt. went down to bishan cause my sis wanted to eat porridge. she has totally lost her voice.

went to buy ice cube trays and heads and shoulders for my dad. have to lug it all the way to shanghai. then took cab home. . . super tired now. i hate going shoe shopping cause i am very fussy and can go all over the place without finding anything.

haven packed yet. die. i have no idea what to bring and i heard it is getting colder there. horrible. shall go and write down a list. more organized that way.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i slept around 11pm yesterday and woke up about 12 hours later. urgh. i feel as though i did not sleep at all. had the same dream that i dream the other night before. so that means two consecutive nights i dream about the same topic. waking up, i was like going. . . OMG. cos everyone knows that dreams never come true. or at least if you wake up and still remember your dream, it will not come true.

seriously scared. i don't want that dream anymore. and if it is going to recur again and again. . . when i woke up, the first thing i did was to message flo. that was the first thing i did. ahhh. i know really should not bother her since she is leaving tomorrow, the same day as me. . . but then she will probably scold some sense into me.

What causes or why do some dreams keep repeating themselves?

Dreams that recur (or repeat themselves) is a clear indication that some issue is not being confronted or that it has not yet been resolved. Your anxieties about a certain situation that you are struggling with may also cause you to have recurring dreams.

now trying not to type in short form. my general paper is at stake here. going out in one hour's time. i need to buy shoes or i don't have shoes for shanghai and my toes are going to get frozen off and snap off like the guy's one in pirates yesterday.

now owe some ppl friendster profile comment. going to get ready to go out already. shall type them when i come back home later. provided i have finished packing for shanghai.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

can i just marry my besties? ahh. . . flo now chattin wif me online and OMG. jiin replied my sms. she is like in freaking thailand and she replied my sms? gosh. . . she is like ohmygod in the beginning of the msg. . . ahhh. . . i feel so bloody loved la. really don't deserve both of them. flo said that we both are siao cos it is overseas sms. ahh. . . gah. . . now super vexed.

realli love both of them for putting up with all my nonsense and listen to me emo. gosh, really cannot underestimate 7 years of friendship which will be approaching its 8th year in jan. we realli shld go celebrate. it will be like. . . 8th year frenship plus three bdays celebration. ahh. . . they must be realli saints la. even i sometimes also cannot tahan myself. they just know me.

if anything happens, i will just run to find them. ok. . . maybe by the time i come back from shanghai, flo will not be around cos she going back to hong kong but i will email her. then just find jiin also. ahhhhh.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

haha. today was fun! boon jin, yl and usarin came over to the house to play. haha. then at first is boon jin and yl who came first then we stayed downstairs as my sis was slping in the room and then couldn't use the room.

then usarin came and just nice can move upstairs. we played mahjong first while watching titanic. haha. pirated version and abit uncensored. lol. but after playing two games, we were quite sian so played bridge! super long never play la. whee. . . i won! i won! i won! didn't lose over much. so fun. i want to play again.

then we played abit of uno also but we were more concentrated on bridge. haha. then after titanic, we watche4d pirates of the carribean 3. again, quality abit bad. ahh. i wanna throw away all the pirated disc. rmb last time i watched lilo and stitch and then half way, got this shadow which stood up and then block stitch's face. diao.

then boon jin so concentrated on pirates that me usarin and yl read cleo. or more like me and usarin reading half way then yl went to steal our onli source of entertainment. haha. ended up me and usarin using the mahjong tiles to build stuff. super funny.

then we played monopoly! super funny la. in the beginnin quite ok then it got more fun. ahh, i had to give yl like 10 thousand dollars, city hall mrt station as well a tax free turn just for the stupid queen astria park? ahh. . . haha. but in the end i build houses and stuff. and super funny la. yl, usarin and i joined forces and then build hotel on the braddell road against boon jin. then. . . stupid yl went to keep the tax for himself until it got revealed. ahh. . . i WON! HAHA. but won by abit. super close

then we kept playing and playing. and eating la. like chocolates, usarin's food, yl's tarts and boon jin's cookies. haha. then the last game of bridge was super prolonged. like nv give out properly, reshuffles. cards not nice, reshuffle. cards not enuff, reshuffle. like reshuffled four times? haha.

then after that, yl, usarin and i took bus to thomson to eat prata! haha. like were there one week ago? whee. mushroom cheese prata! then usarin ordered indian rojak then we share. haha. we reached there about 7.10 and we sat there and talk until 8.45pm.

just talk about random stuff. haha. finally told them who i liked last time. they said it was super obvious. diao. but then just told them briefly things la. haha. then like story sharing session. super nice. i like to sit and talk rather than go shop and stuff. like can learn more about each other.

wa. . . yl! me and usarin dui ni gua mu xiang kan. so brave la! realli changed our perception of him. super nice la. haha. we have excluded him out of the useless guys in nj profile. next time we say anything bad about nj guys, he will be excluded. wa. . . i am quite stunned.

super tired now. shall wake up late tml then go out. got stuff to do. haha. i haven packed for shanghai yet. oops. got alot of stuff to do. must rmb to charge the camera. whee.

i am dying to go shanghai. seriously now, i am just DYING to go. can't wait to leave.

jiin left for cip to thailand today. haha. she msged me at 7 plus am to tell me that she was leaving but i was slping so couldn't reply her. HAVE A GOOD TRIP. i miss her already la. on the way home, i was msging jiin and flo. lol. jiin prob cannot receive but when she come back ba.

ahhhh. . . flo and jiin! tell me what to do now. . . . i quite lost alr. die.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

urgh. . . ANNOYED. DAMN ANNOYED. don't wanna talk about it. . . urgh! jiin's advice. . . ahhhh. . . dunno if it will work onot but. . . IT DOESN'T SO FAR. ahh. . . . BOON JIN IS AN IDIOT!

jiin's fluffy is naked. apparently the pet shop cut it's fur too short and jiin is super pissed off. naked fluffy. its name is snowball but i just call it fluffy. trying to reassure her that its fur will grow. ahh. i want to ask her take pic of it but she is like NO! she typed on her blog that she will throw knives at ppl who ask. lucky i am special. btw, fluffy is a long haired rabbit who has lost its fur.

haha. chattin to joann chua. lol. third person who knows and will STOP. shall not tell anymore. she makes him sound like a horse la.

[joann*] lady with an attitude says:
wow
[joann*] lady with an attitude says:
not bad not bad
[joann*] lady with an attitude says:
sounds good very good

lol. stupid joann chua! quickly come back to spore la. stay in msia until so long. don't want me already. urgh! quickly come back and bug me.

urgh, jiin said that the poem in the prelude sounds very wrong. she said that it is so singlish! and said that it sounded very ahlian. gah. i didn't write that poem! it came with the blog. ahh. . . but i like the meaning. . .. haha. trying to get jiin to edit the poem. . . urgh, both she and boon jin shld get together la. one hates the design, one dislike the poem. . .

BEFORE
I walk here,
you walk there.
You said it was right,
I said that it was wrong.
How can we be together,
just like black and white;
which don't belong.

after jiin's editing,

I walked towards you
But you turned away
You said it was right,
I said it was wrong.
How can we be together,
when we're like black and white;
which just don't belong.

but she still says that it sounds ahlian and lovesick. . . ahhhhhh. . . . shall change it when i am less in the muddled mood

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ahh. i was late in meeting ailin and huangyin at toa payoh mrt for about ten minutes. lol. but huangyin was on the same train as me. stupid rain! i was chattin with joson and huzaifah at home till 2. then would have reached there in time if it hadn't started to rain so heavily.

by the time i walked to the bus stop, my feet were all wet, my bag was soaked. ahh. and the bus aircon super cold. but in the mrt, quickly got dry. but now i sneezing abit. stupid rain. took a pic of rain falling down the stairs like rapids. so weird la.

took bus 238 there. then at first we thot got no cip cos no one there then turns out onli three of us turned up. haha. whee. my second time there. bichu (i have no idea how to spell her name but it is pronounced as stuff) was there! she is this super cute girl but quite playful one.

there were about 8 kids la. all quite ok. but very playful and naughty. i am quite broke already la. they cheated me and ailin out of ice cream. urgh. broke. then got the eldest girl i tink about pri 5, she damn smart la. go see the picture and choose the most ex one, about 2 dollars. urgh. . . broke.

then we were playing piano and also playing ailin's jay chou cd on the radio. urgh, they kept stealin me and ailin's hp. dunno what did they do to it. my hp is like games suck, memory card spoil and speaker abit spoilt. dunno they take to play what.

ahh. . . at first still think ok la. . . but then the noise level went up and then the person in charge of them came in to scold for making a mess out of the room. after two hours, i decided i will never have more than two or three kids. urgh. seriously. it is like. . . near to hell. then got this sweet innocent girl quite nice one until when we were about to leave, she was scolding her brother fuckingnabechaocheebai. i was like. . . OMG. like pri 3 kid? my eyes were like. . .

i cannot realli stand vulgarities la. i mean like. . . is there any use of them. some ppl think it is freaking cool to say them but seriously, it just make them looklike losers who have no proper education in english. ahh. . .

but they were cuter than my own cousins. my own cousins are spoilt little brats who will bug ppl to set up xbox or playstation or laptop for them. but if i hear them say a word of vulgarity, i will slap them. no matter how unclose i am with them. urgh.

then took mrt wif huangyun home. super tired. . . i am like quite dead. sleepy.

ms ang, my pw st plus gp teacher send a email containing the photos we took as a gp class! whee.




still got some more but i lazy to load. eh. .. where is the pw pic? she haven send yet i guess. haha. pw pw pw pw pw pw. in a weird and extremely sadistic way, i kind of miss pw. like i said, IN A WEIRD AND SADISTIC WAY. haha. it is like can 75 percent of the week dedicated to pw, especially the written report. gah, that was a nightmare la.

i dunno what i am doing tml. whee! i successful increase usage to 233! from 197 to 233! haha. just spam i guess. cool. . . sleepy. dunno will i stay online for long later. tired.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

meeting ailin and huangyun at toa payoh mrt at 2.30pm for cip. whee. love ailin! dunno if daph is going. ahh. i shall not be late today! super sleepy now.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i am sleepy. have no idea why i am wake. shld go back to sleep rite? stupid hangphone kept ringing. i will just ignore the call lor seriously.

the magic eight ball on facebook sucks big time. it is like u tink of the question in ur head and then it shows the answer. but then, it doesn't work at all. it is all just randomness. super randomness. for example. when u ask if you like someone when you already know that you do, the ball will show MOST DEFINITELY NO! then in ur mind u will be like huh? then if u ask if the guy likes you, it shows YES. but then, u also cannot be so sure becos it is just a stupid ball and it doesn't see the future.

do u believe in retribution or karma? like you do something to a person and another person will do it back to you? i believe in it alot. or else how to you explain. . . . forget it. shall go and consult jiin tonight. i tell her almost everything la. it is like. . . i dunno, frustrating?

i need to finish my sms to about 280 before i leave for shanghai and now as i check, i onli used 197. urgh. how how how? need to sms like siao la. damn it. i may b one of the few ppl that actually underuse their sms. in this 21th century, it is definitely not normal.

lack of slp. die. come to think of it, is the flight to shanghai at night? i tink it is around 6pm. NOOOO. i don't want to sleep on the plane. i hate night flights la. it is like everyone is sleeping. the lights are dim. and u can't sleep and u can't even read a book cos ur light will disturb everyone and u will be viewed as an inconsiderate bitch and the light is too dim to read. sigh.

i am kind of lookin forward to going overseas. esp to shanghai even though i dont' like china. number 1, get to see my dad. and i can finally leave spore behind me. it is just a boring place la. in somewhere else, i can hopefully not tink so much and just enjoy myself

tralalalala. i am just plain bored

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

jiin is being a lousy match maker. NO NO NO!
i will not like a guy who falls at my feet and say i am falling for you
no! i don't want that kind of drama
eeks. no no no no no
sobs hysterically.
that is a nightmare

i want a guy who is serious
who is stable or more less wen zhong
will has a sense of humour at times
who will be able to laugh with me
ahhhhhhhh. i don't want no drama king
eh. . . was those characteristics i told olivia?
can't really rmb. . . .
ok. . . overall, a guy who loves me wholeheartedly
i am quite terrified. . . NO NO NO!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

damn it. i thot i had better control over my emotions. urgh. can't believed that i allowed annoyance seep through my voice when i was on the phone. ahhh. must practise better self control. hardly ever happen la. dumb

ok, think of happy stuff now. it is a friday nite and i tink the entire world has gone partying or something like that. like there are only four ppl online now, excluding me. how sad and pathetic is that?

was chattin with jiin online in the afternoon at how exasperating guys can get. she was saying that her fren likes this guy etc etc etc. so the summary is that the guy will do something unconsciously to make her happy. then when she is happy, the guy will just do something to just make the entire thing shatter. and then, she was just in a pissed off state of mood again.

ok, i experienced it before. loads of time. like the guy before ba. quite silly come to think of it. you can just be like bloody freaking over the mood la. then after that, you just wanna kill that guy. it is like mood swings only super weird.

was telling jiin this:at first you will be like WHEE. OMG, I LOVE HIM TO BITS AND PIECES. then. . . DAMN HIM! DAMN HIM TO HELL. that sort of thing. you just keep getting mixed signals that you don't know what to do, you cannot move forward. you will just feel frustrated and stuff and like GIVE ME A CLEAR BLOODY SIGN.

haha. i was asking jiin whether was i happier before with him. then she said that she cannot tell but just that before, i was plain sad. ahhh. i sound perfectly depressed and stuff. emo perhaps. i tink now better already.

i think she will like him. the one that i currently . . . just want to say, thank you for making feel happy again. dots. yesterday neoprint, the one that i took only with jiin, she wrote 'you know who' and point the arrow to my head. ahhh. actually she wrote that person's name. freaking obvious but she changed it. ahh. happy.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my hands smell of potatoes. kind of that kind of earthy smell. cooking baked potatoes for dinner. haha. need to wait for half an hour now before adding in rosemary and garlic. lol. so long la. 40 minutes to complete. me not like to wait.

i like cooking. although not much opportunities to cook. i don't really like cooking chinese. i like baking stuff. baked pasta, baked potatoes. haha. all done before. i wanna bake cake!

was watching the last episode of one litre of tears. stopped half way. partly to cook dinner. other reason was because it is so freaking sad. urgh, cried at one part. this is so sad la. haha. jiin watched this show last year. i watching it this year. i tink flo will watch it next year!

i don't understand facebook again. don't understand. i tink friendster nicer though. like less complicated and stuff. and then face book allows you to add all those funny stuff. it is nice to do all those tests but still. . . ahhh. . . i have a freaking low iq, 129. wth. even jessica simpson has a higher iq than me.160. i feel horridly dumb.

haha. still smiling at what jiin wrote la. so silly. utterly silly. it is so nice la. she rmbs what i stupidly say. haha. nope, i won't be a farmer's wife and i won't want to rear cattle for life! siao. i don't even like milk. i don't most of all like cows! haha. it reminds me of what sharon said that day of backrowers' outing. next year we are going to holiday together then she say we shld go farm stay and feed sheep and milk cows. err. . . .

shld not ask for tall dark and handsome rite? cos ppl say you will get the opposite. but then if you say you want someone that is short, white and ugly. . . what if it comes true? then u will just want to smack your mouth for saying so. haha. yes, i am superficial. but i tink when the time comes, looks won't matter la. unless i don't want to get married cos sporeans really. . . not handsome and not pretty. lol

blond with blue grey eyes. can stop living the fantasy. shld just take all my romance books and throw it out of the window ba. normally read historical romance cos it won't touch normal day living. but it would be nice to get swept off your feet by small little things. even if it is by someone you know. hmm. . . do you believe that your heart will beat faster when you are with someone you like? haha. i tink it must be someone that you can't help smiling when he is around even though you don't even want to smile. XD

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

whee. end of my lonely days. haha.

my aunt now buying donut factory donuts. happy. yesterday i FINALLY COULD SLP.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

love is blind

just read jiin's blog. super funny la the way she said about yesterday's outing. ahhhh, she wrote a silly post about me. love her to bits, not for the silly post but it was about me! haha.

"the mrt ride was a nightmare. sueanne started jabbering away about her dream guy and marriage.
1) guy to be hot tall suave yadahh(you get the point)
2) guy to propose with a tiffany ring. no if you're wondering, anything better than a tiffany will apparently, not make the mark either
3) guy has to have a horse. not any plain horse, but a WHITE horse.
4) guy to own a SHINY armour. aluminium foil will not, i repeat, will not do. neither will rusty dusty armours,
5)guy to throw a thousand..thats 3 0s.. (listen to this).. BOTTLES.. into the sea (read: pollution) each has to contain a note that screams i love you. (what if the wave decides to go change from high tide to low tide.. will these bottles float away from shore? ohnoes; no 1000 bottles, no love from sueanne)
6) guy to decide to hold marriage on some grassy plain near the sea. (read: steep cliff near the sea)
7)guy to hand out 999 roses each with the note i love you? or is it marry me? (imagine dethorning the roses)
8)sueanne is willing to settle down rearing cattle for life. yeah so ...(thats one whole paragraph dedicated to dreamlover -.-) basically we need a farmer in an armour who also cares for a thriving rose garden. and yes, his house needs to stock excessive bottles. (sings 10 greenbottles sitting on the wall~)
10 will not suffice.but again, sueanne is terribly in love with some snail. so goodbye mr farmer. "

taken from her blog. she has seriously good imagination. haha. wanna read more? go find her blog =X one entire paragraph dedicated to my loverboy. ok, so perhaps that paragraph was not for me. lol. totally fiction. yes, we are a cute bunch of BFFS.

whee. love jiin and flo. eeks, the next time three of us go out will b like next year? cos flo going back to hong kong until 26 dec. boo. jiin also going overseas this sunday. haha. there will be three days which three of us not in spore together. cool.

lol, oh yeah, three of us were talking about marriage and stuff yesterday. the huge question for us is, will we ever get married? i should hope so. haha.

only both of them know my secret. bu neng shuo de mi mi. die also not telling anyone else. haha. whee. love them loads. i going to crash hc next year. tralala. happy.

shall not care about anyone else! happy! OH YEAH, remembered some of the silly pickup lines we came up with. like a guy takes a broom and starts sweeping at ur feet, meaning 'i am trying to sweep you off your feet'. then if a guy falls to ur feet, it means 'you are drop dead gorgeous.' then if a guy who is sweating and stuff comes to you, it means 'you are hot'. haha. silly frens.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

whee. i love my BFFS. super love them to bits and pieces.

woke up at 7.30am. changed and left the house at 8.10. rawr. forgot that it was a working day and have alot of ppl just rushing off to work. there was two buses that was packed full and refuse to stop. by the time got on to the bus, took mrt and reached bishan, i was late by five minutes. rawr.

jiin was late! met flo first then we took bus to bishan to go to rent bicycle. had to walk super in. super super super super in. was chattin and talking and chattin and talking. urgh, the stupid shop was not opened la. i actually checked online and it said that it would open at 8. then it turned out, the sign there, the person took out the eight.

there was a cleaner there who said that the person who opened the shop was an old man who opens the shop at his whims and fancy. urgh. then he also say that that shop charges super ex, like 8 bucks per hour. stupid stupid. then they put a telephone number there. so i called and then. . . no one picked up. then flo said that there was ringing heard inside the shop.

dumb! so we walked back to take bus. urgh. long walk again. met jiin at bishan. went to eat breakfast since i was the only one that haven eaten. was like eating and chattin. whee. catching up with each other. fun.

flo's class is like. . . alot of love hormones. like got three couples? siao. then when i tink of my class. . . i cannot picture much. haha.

then went to the toilet to change clothes. walked around j8. bought this pen in popular which is invisible ink and can only be seen when you shine the uv light on it. i tested in on my hand. IT WORKS. cool. beyond cool.

after walking finish j8, we took mrt to china town. haha. i was in a seriously high mood. whee. was just talking crap. things that i rubbishly came up with. the guy of my dreams must
1. ride a white horse
2. give me 99 roses. like i standing in orchard road then one by one ppl give me roses, until the 99th one is him
3. allow me to ride bicycle to the wedding
4. if i at the beach, bottles with msges in them must float to me. 1000 of them.
lol. they say my standards super high. they say that the guy very xin ku. must train the horse, must prepare bottles etc. then must buy tiffany ring. haha. flo say that i shld date a farmer. whee. haha. i not so ye man la. just want the guy to take care fo me can liao. cos there is no where on earth which any guy will be above to do the above mentioned. that guy would be siao and i wouldn't want him.

went to china town to eat. yummy. walked to people's park before that to look at beads. feel like making a charm bracelet but i quite lazy to do. haha. hint for birthday present.

after that took mrt to bugis. my feet were killing la. the slippers that i bought gave me blisters. boo. super funny. keep meetin ppl at bugis la. firstly met clement and his ahem on the escalator. then they were also quite stunned to see me. haha. then i purposely didn't wanna paiseh them so walked a different way.

we kept looking at necklaces, wallets. haha. just random shopping. looked at organizers. haha. i going to buy one very soon for next year. then we took neoprints. super long never take already la. was like some sort of adrenaline rush. haha. was just rushing to take and deco. pretty. but my scanner got something wrong and the com got blue screen of death so cannot scan and upload. sad. haha. will show to those who wanna see. i tink i wil carry it with me.

then flo left at three and jiin and i went bugis street. i tink that was the only second time i had been there. haha. was just alot of shops and stuff. bought a shirt. whee. but i quite picky about shirts. quite big the place. urgh, saw that stupid junior that i saw on tues as well. she was shocked to see me la. even when i walked past still keep looking. go die.

then we walked back to bugis to look at stuff. met daph and sharon! haha. i knew that they would be at bugis also but didn't know what time. so qiao. actually is they saw me first and daph just stun there la. whee. haha, shall go out wif them after i come back.

then jiin and i haven't finished our neoprint craze and went to take another one. siao. this time we were like jumping up and down cos got two cameras. so fun. and we also deco like siao. pretty.

then we took mrt to raffles place and change mrt to go to marina bay which went up to amk again. haha. today was so fun la. whee. love my girl frens la.

now watching titanic. super nice la. my feet hurt. had to wash my hair again although i washed it in the morning cos some idiot at the bus stop was smoking and the smoke went to me. yucks. sick.

my mummy back tml already. haha. then going shanghai next week! i can't wait to see my dad. i wonder what i will be doing tml. hmm. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets

urgh. i am such a pig. realli. woke up at 11.45am, went to eat lunch and then slept again at 1 till 5. urgh urgh urgh. realli wasting my time sleeping.

today really did nothing but slack. me like slacking.

tml going to learn how to cycle. wish me luck ba. if i don't return, i shall will everything to my teddy bear brownie. i am not making any sense now.

now watching titanic on channel five. finally, something nice to watch. whee. but they censored alot of it. just watched about ten minutes of it already. nice nice nice. i think titanic can be one of my fave shows la. aside from moulin rouge and phantom of the opera. haha.

sleepy. shall try to slp early today instead of normally at 2am. tml have to wake up early like 7 plus to get ready. i shall not be late tml! shall kill myself off the lateness. . . whee.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

slept at 3am yesterday watching one litre of tears. suppose to slp like an hour earlier but i just had to watch the next episode.

MY STUPID ALARM DIDN'T RING. i set it for 8.30am. and guess wad, i woke up at 9.33am and i was suppose to meet xiang and sharon at 10! was like going die die die. cos surely late for the outing. so quickly took a shower and got changed and rush out of house. by then already 10. waited so long fo bus. by the time i reached city hall, it was 10.45am.

was suppose to walk to marina sq to meet them but then, met them halfway. haha. they missed me too much ma. went to eat mac's bfast and sat down to chat. i freaking miss backrowers ah. . . sob.

went to cinema to buy tickets for the game plan. after that, we tried finding an atm machine. gosh, it is so hard to find one la. cos no. 1, not every atm machine is suitable. number 2, there are only two atm machines in marina sq, uob and dbs, none which i could use.

lol, outside the uob, we were just using the glass there to keep taking pics. super funny la. ppl were staring at us. ppl from upstairs eating dinner can just stare at us and tink that we are camera deprived ppl. lol. it is super freaking fun.

needed cash. then we walked around marina sq. kept seeing st nicks ppl. tsk tsk. most of them are sec 4s. then went arcade to play. daytona! i kept losing. xiang la, kept crashing me until my car overturned twice.


took seriously alot of photos. cos got cute paintings on the wall so we just kept taking. then got this one near the toilet. we tried taking, then got this nice gentleman tried to help us take, but he was so slow that a queue formed for those that needed to cross over to go toilet. ahh, the space was never so we practically took up the entire aisle.



we also went to the pasta place where last time me and usarin saw. looks super yummy.



then we walked to some quieter part of marina sq, started to have loads of furnitue and wedding shops. ahh, keep seeing then suddenly feel like gettin married. =X. but alot of purple stuff which is sharon's fave. purple chair, purle wall and purple wedding gown. we sat down and rest at some ulu corner at some nice chairs which were suppose to be outside a massage place.



we had to buy daph the movie ticket cos she could come earlier. haha. she lucky got seats next to us. whee. then went to meet her and we went to long john to eat. eeks, saw a junior which i loathed alot in long john. didn't care. haha.

by the time we went up to cinema, it was like 3.55pm? and our show was suppose to start at 3.45pm. luckily when we reached there, it was still showing trailers and stuff. urgh, some guys took our seats la. but at least still have four seats so we didn't make a fuss. if don't have, i will kick them out la.


got this show called the enchanted which seems nice. at first i thot it was a disney cartoon but it became reality. sigh, i tink it would have been much nicer if it was a disney cartoon.

the game plan quite nice. as in some parts were funny but more family base and quite touching. haha.

after tat, my legs were numb and stuff, walked to suntec. we saw the fountain again! the pretty fountain that last time we found it. and it was just after six so music was playing. haha. it onli plays when i am with them la. others no.



just walked randomly around. got some shops that i didn't know existed. went to toys r us. gosh, like so many things i didn't have as a child la. haha. like playland. walked to find atm! finally found a atm. then i super weird. cos i don't like fifty dollar notes. i onli like ten dollar ones so i withdrew thirty dollars first then withdrew another twenty. haha. so totaly still fifty.

then went to the arcade at suntec to play. haha. played this air rifle game which i didn't know how to shoot at all. played daytona and also played super mario racing. haha. that one is super cute. like can pick up stuff to throw at ur opponents.

needed cash for dinner as well as for outing on thursday. went downstairs to eat at pasta mania! nice. i find that keep eating la. eeks. super funny. daph and sharon both ask for the ribbon pasta and the cashier was like. . . what? i tink it is called fartelle? dunno. ordered linguine. reminds me of ratatouille. haha. watched that show with the backrowers as well.


then just talked after dinner. so nice la. whee. we have alot of catching up to do la. was talking about the lame stuff that happens in nj. the classic pw case of mine etc. tinkin of having a four grace outing. hmm. must ask meiling and karina and shufen about this. haha. during dec? hmm. . .then we wanted to go home but we were distracted by the suntec fountain. it was playing music and stuff. very pretty. i like fountains.



haha. need daph to take pics cos her arm long enuff. she say makes her sound like the chimpanzee. i didn't say anything. then walked with sharon and xiang to mrt cos daph taking bus. then sharon took wif me and my sis all the way to marina bay and up again cos we were just too lazy to stand.

was looking at the camera pics and teaching sharon abit of maths on the mrt. good luck sharon for ur maths exam on thurs! you can do it XD! haha. we must finish everything on the backrower's outing list. we created a list of things we must do together before the hols is over. fun. i just signed over the entire six days which i am in spore to them. haha.


super tired by the time i reached home la. now chattin wif jiin. ahaha. just telling her how lonely i am online. sigh sigh sigh. whee. tml shall stay at home and slp. super tired. my legs died. bleh, jiin says that boon jin's name, norman reminds her of a snail. . . ok, he walks quite slowly. i am beginning to see a resemblance. oops.

p.s daph, xiang, sharon. if want the photos, try to catch me online. still have the other time outing with me. xiang! ur pics also XD

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

watching one litre of tears now. borrowed the series from my fren. super sad. like now watching episode 6? but it just gets sadder and sadder. this type of show really makes you appreciate what you have. the illness which the girl has is some sort of degenerative illness, spinocerebella ataxia, which is incurable and just gets worser with each day.

seriously, everyone shld just go and watch this show la. just 11 episodes. can finish in one day. this is a true life story which has been adapted from the book. it just makes you realise that no matter how worse off you are, there are others which have it even worser and still continue living.



slept at 5 and woke up around 7 plus. realli shld hang up the phone and off my hp. house phone kept ringing and hp kept vibrating. i wanna slp! went to j8 just now to borrow books. but somehow, i don't feel like reading them already
urgh, it sucks. each time i like someone, i just don't want to read books. or the amount of books that i read just decreases. weird.

i ate my breakfast around 3pm. went to j8 and bought back food home. some vegetarian pasta or something like tat. i don't like to carry food backin mrt! number 1, very few ppl do that, and number 2, the smell travels!

haha. tml meeting xiang and sharon then see if can go with daph for dinner. urgh, i am still super sleepy. is there anything else that i can do during the hol? i have officially 2 dollars to my name. SMILES.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

LONELY DAY 1:

could hardly sleep last nite. cos i think i slept too much yesterday. silly, utterly silly. just tossed and turn, tossed and turn. alot of things on my mind. i think i slept at 3 am? then the vibration of my hp woke me up. usarin msged! hee. she say that she was leaving.

slept until 11am until, a horrible laughter woke up me. wtf, my sis's fren came la. so bloody annoying. i was sleeping! and her laughter isn't exactly music to my ears. grr. had to shout for my sis to ask her fren to shut up. then went back to slp for a while.

urgh, it has been raining since this morn la. i cannot leave the house. i wanted to go j8 to go borrow books. ahhhh. . . i am so going to die of boredom before this ends. sucks. this utterly sucks.

going to meet flo and jiin at 8.30am on thurs. haha. learn how to cycle. after that is shopping! i wanna buy stuff. so wanna buy stuff.

i need entertainment badly.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

chattin wif jiin online now. . . ahhh, i love her to bits and pieces la. feel so bad to her that she has to listen to my emo traumatic self each nite.

haha, said my goodbyes to usarin. it was much better than with boon jin's one la. cos number 1. she will miss me, number 2, it ended with with love on her side and huggs on mine. girls are so much nicer la. haha, they truly believe that you will miss them. unlike guys. rawr. still super exasperated.

i hate one sided feelings and it always happens to me. ALWAYS. thrice this has happened alr. jiin was asking me to flip a coin. i had to find a coin first since my wallet is all out of coins. it doesn't work. trust me. u can flip the coin a million times and it will never tell u the answer.

i wish i can see the future, as in can see if i will end up with him or if we at least have a future together. whether i am wasting my time on him or not it can all be seen. jiin says it is the fun and thrill of not knowing. but she also said that it can be unnerving. i agree.

sigh, she also agreed with me that it seems one sided on my part based on what i told her. she just said that i liked the wrong person. urgh. how am i to know if that is the wrong or right one? at least this one feels more right than the other one.

urgh, i asked my sis. and she said the right one is when you can see a future with him and when you can see urself holding hands with him. great advice. u can hold hands with anyone but u can never feel the same with him.

i need a break from all these romance stuff. life will be easier if i was not straight right? unfortunately, there is no way in hell that i will be a homosexual. i just don't have it in me.

jiin told me that her fren, confessed to a girl at the airport by giving her a letter and a chocolate bar. it sounds so korean drama but, it is freaking romantic. i chatted with usarin that i wanted a guy that can sweep me off my feet with his confession.

i thot about confessing to this guy that i like now. but it will be a total mess i tink. firstly, he does not have any romantic feelins for me, i guess. secondly, our frenship will get shot to pieces. thirdly, awkward situations. it is just the worst case scenario. i want to work out our relationship. but that needs time. and i am onli afraid that time is something that i don't have.

ahh, jiin is chattin wif me and she just typed my name. based on experience, whenever someone types ur name suddenly in a convo. it means, he or she wants ur undivided attention on what they are going to say next.

i will give myself one week to think about this. i feel like doing something before i leave for shanghai. urgh. this is utterly nerve wrecking. i wish i was a guy sometimes, at least if guys confess and get rejected, they won't look like a total despo and retard.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

sue-anne --

[noun]: A master blogger

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ahhh. . . super groggy. really super groggy now. just woke up. from a nap i mean. slept around 5pm. ahh. this morn woke up at 11.45am? improvement from yesterday alr la. sleepy.

then went to compass point to walk. me miss my daddy. took a taxi there cos mum didn't really know how to drive yet. haha. walked around. bought jasmine green tea to drink. somehow it reminded me of the first three months where jun, eric and i kept trying to raid the vending machine. haha. we manage to cheat the vending machine out of five bottles la.

finally bought black nail polish! my blue one is beginning to come out alr. sob. nvm, can go change the colour when i am bored next week.

my mum leaving for india now. she coming back on friday. GREAT! next week sucks. like my mum is gone, boon jin, grace, usarin gone for yltc. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i will be so bored. me bored me no like.

haha, GOOD LUCK TO THOSE GOING YLTC. heard it was quite tough from jun. then tat time he came back super black. boon jin! you better don't come back black! later i walk pass you and don't recognise! will miss you guys! i can't rmb if got anyone else i know going yltc. haha. usarin! you know what to do! haha.

luckily next week i am not completely alone. got backrowers outing and got outing with my besties! whee. but tml. . . wad am i going to do? hw? go find clothes to go shanghai? i keep thinking that next week is the week that i am leaving. haha. i like plane rides. . .

sneezing abit. ah, i cursed myself to have flu. haha. i wanna buy clothes! shall ask my sis to pei me. but she three days from wed to fri going temasek poly to see the orientation. everyone is abandoning me. i feel so sad.

nvm, shall ask jiin if she wanna go. clothes! but i am more of a shoe and bag person. i like shoes. shall go and buy sneakers. sneakers! bags! ok, i am freaking not making sense today. boon jin was right, i am hyper today. so weird. i tink i ate a happy pill. which will deflate tml. X(

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

ah. my phonebill is going to die. stupid jun. 12 to 1. ahhh. .. he is going to pay for my phonebill if it baos.

tml going out. haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACIE POOH!
love ya. dunno what i will do without her in my pw group. whee.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing.

I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

quotes from stardust. seriously romantic la. it is true.

chattin wif jiin and olivia now. with jiin. urgh, now trying to sort out my feelins with her. the thing is i dare not say anything cos i not sure even if we can make it, that i am willing to wait two years while he goes ns. i am able to wait but will he do the same?

it just alot of insecurities that i have. and i am unable to sort them out. if you like somone, you must set him free. if he is yours, he will come back to you. has this saying been proven through? i will never take the first move. never.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

super tired now but today was so fun la.

woke up at like 12.30pm? haha. super pig la. then went to yishun to do some stuff before meetin up with usarin. super late la. haha. suntec was like fully booked for stardust. had to walk to marina square to try out luck. still not so bad. fifth row from front.

but the movie started at like 6.40pm and we had like two hours before the movie started. then we walked around marina sq, walked through city link to raffles city. super funny la. we were talking crap and having super loads of fun and stuff.

was walking in and out of every shop. ate ice cream. whee. low fat. haha. usarin won't eat it unless it says so. it was nice. sat down for a while. gah, must learn to stop calling her mrs nicholas. or else i will be black and blue all over.

walked back to cinema and bought the combo thing with huge popcorn and twister. haha. so many trailers la. and all were about supernatural and magic. don't have any movies that were about normal life. lol. then the movie started. super funny la. we were whispering to each other lame stuff and just pigged out. finished all the popcorn and twister. super full after that.

stardust is nice! it is like abit of fairytale and magic that sort of thing but it is very nice. seriously. wa . . . claire danes is pretty. can't believe she is going to be thirty. unbelievable.

after the movie, we still walked around somemore. went with her to sasa to buy her pretty bottles. haha. seriously, the bottles were quite classy. hee. then we took mrt home. was chatting again. FUN. LOVE USARIN TO BITS.

by the time reached home was 10.10pm? not so sure. super sleepy. haha.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

11.21pm to 1.07am. my hp bill is just going to bao. all jun's fault. lol. but he super nice la. called me to hear me talk.

now still chattin wif jiin online. was doing abit of maths. very rusty now. urgh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS LEONG KAE XIANG!
haha. silly guy went back msia alr. by the time see him again will be like next year? shall crash hc again. buy carrot cake for me!

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

everything is so freaking fked up

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

minesweeper. my sis just will never not want to play with me online till she wins me. sigh. just thrashed her three times again. super tired la. used unnecessary brain power. GO ZOE! FLAMETHROWER! she is suay according to herself.

was like checking friendster just now. really really very tired. went to lib to return books just now. wanted to borrow some. libraries are not opens on public holidays! why can't i freaking rmb that?

then walked around and around and around j8. it is much more interesting than amk hub i tink. although i went to j8 like more times than amk hub. it is still better. haha. then took mrt to yck.

there is something wrong with me today. like when the train was arriving, i told my sis to board the BUS! then at traffic light, suppose to press the button, i went to ask my sister to OPEN THE DOOR?! in the middle of nowhere there is suppose to be a door. super out of sorts today.

bought some stuff for tml. broke. money is like running out. I WANT CHINESE NEW YEAR! then went to the macs near my house and sngs there. bought newspaper. haha. then from there walked home. super long nv walk by this way already. ever since left st nicks. kind of nostalgic.

urgh. i forgot that i had a tv show on. american sweethearts! sigh. shall catch it again on saturday. why am i so forgetful?! today is a weird day.

un-break my heart by toni braxton is nice. heard it at action city today. meaningful ba. shall not ponder liao.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

rotting at home currently. rot rot rot.

slept at like 3am this morning. went offline around 1.50am after chatting with jun. went to finish up the j.d.robb book. i thought i knew who the murderer was, thought i knew. turns out i was so horridly wrong. the book is utterly astonishing. it is perhaps the best book she has ever written. i couldn't put in down despite of my stunned horror. utterly perfect.

and even after finishing the book, i was still quite shocked. so had to take some time before getting to sleep. woke up around 11 plus with the contents of the book still vividly in my head. i let my sis read some parts of the book. she said it was sick. the author had a twisted mind.

seriously, if anyone has free time, go and read innocent in death by j.d.robb.



i bought the black copy since most of the series i have is in this design. the other books such as conspiracy in death is also nice. but i think this wins hands down. shall go read from book 1 again. urgh, i can't get the brilliant murder plan out of my head. psychotic already. now even as i reading another book, totally diferent genre, i keep remembering that book. go read!

later going to j8 with my sis. return lib books and walk around. next week shall entertain myself thoroughly. whatever free days i have shall be devoted to doing hw. before i leave for shanghai. i wonder, if i like it there, will i stay and never come back. never will this notion be possible.

was thinking about some of the books i read and some of the male characters are quite unbelievable. like never will appear in real life. clayton westmoreland in whitney my love, roarke in the in death series, alec kincaid in the bride. so far, these are the only three that has a huge impression on me. the rest is read and forget.

sometimes it is kind of sick living such a boring life. your life is only made interesting in what you put in it. mine is currently void. fill it up ba.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

gosh. i wanna burst out laughing. seriously badly. now chatting with jun online.
i liked it when he said

. jw (｡◕‿◕｡) fiascos ` says:
haha. our minds are our jails. to serve the terms, we think a lot.
. jw (｡◕‿◕｡) fiascos ` says:
we are just prisoners of our minds?

i just can't help but to agree with him. both of us are alike in certain ways. we have the tendency to think alot and somehow, our thots may flow in the same direction. so mayb that is why i like sharing things with him. the fact that i don't have to explain so much becos he will think the same way as i do. our convos are always very deep. prisoners of the minds.

on a lighter note, my convo with olivia is. . . damn funny. gosh. and the questions she ask me is really. hilarious. for example:
do you smile unknowingly when you think of him?
and can you even guess who is the him?

urgh, why do ppl think that i like jim or even that we were together? NO. i never liked jim more than a friend. how to? i liked someone else during that period of time. and how were we even together? i am STILL single for the past 17 going on to 18 years.

going back to that convo. she say it will be proven when i go overseas and the first person i tink about is him. lol. SUPER FUNNY. but then i am super chi dun in terms of feelins one. although i tink alot but i will just ignore this portion of myself or try to avoid. cos it will be very sticky for me.

i must be super bored if i am chattin this sort of things la. but she is the one asking questions then i answer. she is a shrink, i am the patient. so far, nothing discovered. but i still think it is super funny.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

woke up just a second before my alarm rang. so cool la. haha. then went to bath and drag down monopoly. then went downstairs to read books. haha. boon jin was not late! turns out to be yl la. super funny. both of us were the last to go offline and he was late!


was upstairs waiting for yl to come then were watching bleach. urgh. then that horrible boon jin went to watch 'i knew what you did last summer' or something like tat. IT WAS A HORROR FILM. urgh. yl came just as it started. i was trying to read book and ignore the show but then they keep omging and keep scaring me la. and they insist on playing uno. no choice, had to play and try to ignore the screen.

got some parts realli. . . blood sprew everywhere that kind. yucks. so gory. even boon jin was covering his eyes la. still dare say me. stupid guy. finally, the show ended. haha.

act dao!

3/5 of NJ 130!

yl! sue! boon jin!

left the house to go kfc and eat lunch. after that walked to subway. we saw denny! haha. but dunno where he disappear to. ppl see boon jin will run away one.

met ailin and jean at subway and then we went to kbox. haha. was like deciding which package to choose. haha. the room was like. . . if u watch alot of hk series, ur image is, dark small room and got da ge da and body guards outside one.

boon jin and my first time in kbox la. haha. the rest all went before. then we started dianing songs. super funny. like duets throughout. yl and ailin duet was nice! i realise i know alot of chinese songs but just dunno the title. noob. haha. found out some stuff. yl is a canto singing pro, ailin is a hokkien pro, boon jin is a hokkien pro, jean is a ballad pro. wow. stupid daph ps us la.

got one period all jay zhou songs. then got fei yu qing! gosh, super funny la. got one song was all. . . . like waves. funny. we drank like one pitcher of lemon tea within twenty minutes? shouldn't eat the snacks. that will just make you thirsty and you will want to drink more. and then keep going toilet. haha.

i cannot hit high notes. voice will crack super badly. haha. but for kbox, no one really cares if you go out la. it is the fun that counts. fun fun. bleh, i realli play alot this hols la. die. money no more and i still not working. offed the lights until super dark la. then i lied down and slept for a while. so nice to sleep. until, horrible screeching woke me up. shall not mention who screeched. haha.

the small fruit platter

no comments

jean and ailin!

my baby and i

boon jin!

ailin!

ultimate gayness!


the girls!

need i say more?


kbox group! s13,s16,s19!

sang until voice hoarse la. paid 15 bucks. ok la. lucky didn't choose the other package. haha. then went to take pics. was taking pics in my house toilet at first. super funny la. daoish faces. tsk tsk.

then departed from ailin and jean who went to marina sq to meet daph. so far! or else i go liao. ended up walking to amk hub wif boon jin and yl to see bags. and then yl went to da pao food. i was nice and pei them to mrt. stupid boon jin still don't wanna pei me.

walked back to amk hub to buy rock salt. my mum msged me. went to ntuc to hunt for it. all i saw was fine salt la. then i quite pissed off with a woman working there la. i asked her if got rock salt then she just said, aisle 26, shld b there. wtf. it was the freaking wrong aisle in the first place la. so i went back to aisle 27 to see if there was rock salt amidst the fine one. dun have. grr. . .

went to mos to da pao dinner. my house don't have food. sob.

horrible thing happen when i bathing la. like my bathroom window, i was thinking wad was on the window outside. look closer, it was a freaking baby lizard la! wth. i was like. . . shit. even though the window was closed, i scared it may somehow find a way in. so was like bathing while looking at it to see if it moved. yucks. bathed at super fast speed. . .stupid lizard.

dunno what i doing tml. either go my grandma's house or go to nanyang poly to eat. see who yue me. haha. i am like going out like siao la. quite a big change from my other hols. from sec sch to jc life really change alot. life styles and alot of other stuff.

now super tired la. i tink after drying my hair and reading book finish then go slp. tired. . .

oh yeah, still got pics of the new urban male outing. enjoy!

COUGHS! i dunno anyting =X

pretty fountain at marina sq

illegal

gambling
shoot. i tink i will be killed for the pics. i am innocent XD

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world