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When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

i burnt my tongue. now it feels super weird. bullied my dad into going to the hokkaido fair. super nice la. tried alot of different stuff and bought three packages of ramen and got cheese cake! then ate tako again and manjou cake. i super love japan la. i don't care. going there end of the year. i miss there la.

i was walking around isetan when it finally hit me. no matter what i do, no matter how much i ignore, the friendship will still be there. it is just a cycle. and i can't get myself out of it. it is something that i don't tink with time that will be able to end it. i gave myself about three weeks. it was still the same. sometimes, i dislike myself for being so weak.

was chattin with clement online. he was also emoing. hoped i manage to give him some advice. ok. he was stun tat i have never been in a relationship before. disbelievement ba. YES! i have never been in a relationship before. in girls school for ten years how to? then he say tat i appear to have alot of experience. . . dunno if it means tat i look old or wad. . . no experience what so ever. serious. like i said in the past two posts, i want my freedom. if i am to b restricted, neither of us are going to end up happy. the problem is that, i will give alot but is he willing to take it? no sick thoughts intended. i don't want to end up tired as what i am feeling rite now.




i tink the above lyrics really suits my mood now. i hope i can get over it. i can't keep waiting for you anymore. i tink you realli take it for granted that i will still be there where you left me. sorry, i can't wait anymore. you will never understand me when before, i thot u really did. however, you don't. if you did, you will know how i feel about certain things. and you knew and still went ahead to do them.

i won't be the one that you use when there is nobody there to entertain you. it is time i start listening to my logic instead of my heart. i can't afford to get hurt anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

shit. i want common test back. only then will i be able to stop thinking about some stuff. sigh. . . i want to go to the hokkaido fair. although yest went with them but then wanna see somemore. lol. tml going equinox at swissotel to eat. i am gettin sick of this life liao.

i tink the word sorry has been used alot of times already. i am gettin sick with the stupid excuses given to me. i mean like, i thot we could be honest with each other, our friendship surmounted to that. i am gettin very tired already. i tink i shld just listen to mei. forget it. you are obviously not worth my time anymore.

i refuse to be controlled by anyone. yet yun say tat it is sort of started. sigh. no way. i want my freedom, you want ur freedom. so, i guess tat there is no point if it continues. seriously. . . i need someone new liao.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

woke up at about ten plus today. then went to wash my hair. was drying my hair halfway then daph called and say tat she coming to my house. lol. i was super unglam when she saw me la. like wearing jeans, then wear st nicks pe shirt with specs and hair wet. lol. then after that meiling also came so changed and went to slack with them on my bed. note: nothing happen during the chattin process.

haha. mei threw me aside and got a new darling la. sigh. always like tat one la. then we took bus back to st nicks. i miss orange bowl. seriously miss orange bowl. why on earth did i just eat it last year when it was around even before i went to pri 1? sigh. then saw some annoying sec 4s. they were gaping when they saw me like. like wth, can't i come back? sian. i want to keep a super low profile but it failed, even in jc or in sec. then was just sittin down. the food is super nostalgic. dunno if there is such a word but then. . . don't care. didn't see any teachers though. except for some of the canteen vendors and the cleaning auntie. gosh, i miss tat auntie la. i used to talk to her for long long times. haha. saw mr g wong. he nv change. tat is all i can say.

went to the general office to collect o level cert. seriously. i thot tat they will throw it away la. then when we asked to collect, the person still ask us wad year la. O_O i didn't know still got seniors haven collect yet. gosh. then we walked all the way to. . . take 132 to orchard. it is quite far and i was wearing heels. dumb move. alighted at far east then met sharon there. haha. super cute la she.

meiling was pointin out to me the two cat high twins tat were in subway. then i was like pointin at them. i tink too obvious la. celine and yinghui was with sharon. wa. . . super long nv see both of them also. then the shoppin began. was walking here and there. and tried taking photos. was taking using the reflection of the escalator but the lightin too bad liao.


meiling and i


blurred

another failed attempt

for those people who think that we camwhore alot. those above pictures are obviously prove that the answer is no. we are just too lousy at it. haha. not enough practise ba.

after tat, we went to this fashion to shop. haha. i hardly step inside there. then mei and i just pick out clothes until 6 pieces each la. while daph took one to try and sharon also a few. then went inside dressing room and came out tryin the clothes. haha. super fun la. like got personal fashion consultant like tat. i ended up buying on shirt while daph ended up with two! sharon also two ba! mei. . . none. lol. and she was the one with the most clothes la. ironic.


backrowers!

i tink daph knows how to use my cam beta than me. shocking. it was me tat was beta than her in the beginning since i was in media club but now she in photography, she become more zai liao. then we went to toilet to use reflection.


sharon and me! i suck at this


me, daph and sharon XD


forgot about the flash


even sharon is better than me!

then we went to isetan cos we were quite sick of far east. there was a hokkaido fair la. super nice. i going there again some day. haha. ate takopachi. zai. then we went up to lido to slack. mei ate kfc, i ate long john silvers. i love the fries. so just sat there chilling out. saying who dating who and stuff. horror of all horrors, some st nicks ppl ended up dating cat high guys. then daph was like saying tat the cat high principal told them to marry st nicks girls. wth. . . no freaking way.


daph and i XD



then meiling left cos she had some cca outing and stuff. both she and daph were talking about my future boyfren and stuff. i was like saying tat i won't let him control me cos no one has ever controlled me since i was young and i enjoy my freedom. then they say tat my bf will step all over me. horrifying. tat will never happen. haha. but i told them tat if xiang got bf, i will jump down. not becos it is impossible for her but rather, love her too much until my heart break. lol.

daph wanted to get shades so we went back to far east. was trying on the shades. haha. then we walked the entire far east again. went to burger king for dinner. didn't order anything but kope daph and sharons stuff. then i saw sharon's burger it was super funny.


sharon's burger


O_O;;

we were laughing over it la. i took the sticker home. thot it was quite cute. then sharon started eating super slow cos she scared got bones. lol.


daph's unglam expression


sharon worried about fish bones


sharon and i posing


sharon has a big mouth! cute!


ok, i like fries


daph acting dao. but she still loves me!


XP


daph's sleepy expression


i like lying on sharon!


me with daph's shades


daph says i super look like my mum with these on


sharon is still scared of her burger


she stares at it


still staring! O_O


daph with her shades!


lol


sharon has conquered her fear!


the highlights in sharon's hair. i also want!


BURGER KING!


what sharon and daph bought

then daph left at around 7.10 so left me and sharon. haha.


sharon sad tat daph left


but nvm, she still has me!


pufferfish loves fries


i like sticking out my tongue XP


sharon swears off all fish burgers!


abstract! haha

after tat, we took 162 home. the bus was super crowded la. like mad. typical singaporeans. haha. then i alighted at macritchie and took 132 home. it was drizzling when i went home. . .i love the rain. and my mood was super good la. seriously, nothing can replace your sec school friends. NOTHING!

went online and chatted with flo. then msg kx. he said he was sleepin then i counted to ten and he called. lol. quite predictable. so was talking to him and chattin with flo. and i was like some kind of middle man haha. nvm, shall not elaborate. then had three way convo with flo and him. i talked to kx for like 2 hrs!!! rawr. was suppose to blog at 8 but ended up bloggin now. blame him ba!

he super court death. stomach ache until super bad and still eat pizza. rawr. damn funny la. ok, i am sadistic. then flo went to sleep so we continued talking until i went to blog. total time : 3 hrs plus minus. i not very sure. my hp bill surely bao. my received calls duration about 7 over hours. . . over 90% is he call one. surely. haha. but quite fun la. he don't need to sleep tat type. haha. die, flo betray me. she say tat she doesn't mind. now, i have to follow kx's request. sigh. later he meng suan me again.

i was telling him wad daph and sharon said tat he was like don't believe tat nobody could control me la. then he said SINGPOREAN GIRLS. lol. he tinks msian girls are nicer. haha. of course wad, he from msian, wad to expect!

he say tat kl the carrot cake and fried kuay teow super nice. then, he refuse to bring back for me! say dunno wad, bacteria grow. lousy excuse. lol. i most prob end of year going msia to see joann so don't care, he is going to bring me around! haha. super sleepy now. got alot of stuff to do. . . die, haven buy my sis present yet. ok. going to do so tml ba.

btw, the only reason why i posted so many photos is due to sharon. lol. she wanted some tat we took today. although not all are posted. i must b mad to post all.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my darling xiang cannot go out tml. she got soccer match. sigh. but daph, sharon, mei and nat going!!! i going to st nicks at 11.30am in the morn with daph and mei then after tat meet up with sharon and nat since they have tests.

ahh. . . every single one is gettin attached. WHY?! doesn't anyone believe that single is beautiful anymore? i mean like . . . WHAT, HOW, WHY? if nat, sharon or xiang tells me that they are attached, i will just jump down. cos it means, 5/6 of the backrowers are attached = i am the only one single.

lol. not tat i mind but can u imagine a life with everyone attached? like yest was alr seeing so many couples. rawr. nvm. shall lead my happy single life. and those who ask me if i am attached, i will laugh. stop speculating. i don't need to keep repeating myself ba. SINGLE. meaning unattached. free.

and omg, i just did the test on friendster if u can test if u like someone. and out of 17 questions, i got yes for 15 of them. wth. . .seriously, just fell straight into the trap. if you didn't care, stop acting like you do.

i love russell peters like hell. he is the main reason why i couldn't realli study for common test. it is super funny. he is like hilarious. i am watching him now. . . gosh. . . super funny. i love the one when he went to the chinese mall. gosh. . .

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

i woke up about half an hour ago. i really need my sleep back. haha. was online until 2 plus am today. i going to kill kx. was sleeping peacefully when he called my hp to ask for chem!!! opportunity cost super high la. lol. then i dumb nv put hp into silent mode and my ringtone quite loud one. haha.

things i wanna do after the ct(which is now)
* walk along spore river at night
* queue for donut at donut factory
* reread all my comics
* rewatch all the shows
* try not to kill certain people
* meet xiang and shaon and meiling
* study at least four times a week
. . . . and the list goes on and on and on.

crap. i wanted to go highlight my hair today. then my dad say no point and wait until end of year the holiday. sigh. ok. but by then i wanna highlight red liao lor. haha. super sleepy still but watching romeo x juliet and nana2 on the com. . .

tml going out with daph, xiang, sharon and mei. haha. can't wait!!! i miss them loads la. them minus daph cos i always see daph one.

sometimes, people ought to stop making excuses for themselves. sometimes the excuse comes out very stupid and we all know that it is just a coverup. it gets annoying after a while. seriously, don't wanna care anymore.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world

my common test is finally over! finito! sayonara! will never see you again that type of over. i am totally lack of sleep. super lack of sleep. i am going to play super hard and mug super hard. ok. although suppose to bar myself from the com, didn't realli managed to. sigh. will power not strong enough ba. ok, shall post one super long post since norman keeps asking me to blog.

last week was like realli trying to study. dots. super dots. went out for dinner at raffles hotel last wednesday i tink. shoot. i can't rmb what i did last week. only vague memories. ok, on tues went to fuji ice palace to do the video thing. . . or was it wed? die. ok nvm.

last wed went to longbar steak house to eat dinner with my parents and sis. and omg, the steak is bloody hell nice la. it is like the nicest steak i have ever eaten. i tink it cost $76+++? i nearly took the wagkyu (dunno how to spell) beef which cost $176 dollars. i tink i will be mad if i took that. and the soup is not like any soup i tasted. it is like they put the ingredients in the bowl then they pour the soup onto it. it was like super nice. . . but $22 for a soup is abit. . . steep. all i can say is that the price was super steep. super funny la. the waiter was like asking my sis and i if we wanted wine. then i was like O_O. don't i look underage?


my dad and i XD age gap= 37. do the maths


my sis and i under the longbar sign. got cut off. sigh


some kind of emo pic


my mummy and i

i kind of like zibi during the hols. the only person i saw the most was yun. suppose to like study together but most of the time ended up talking about stuff. then went to eat ben and jerry ice cream at raffles city last last thurs ba. . . can't rmb. then we saw the freaking queue at the donut factory. super long. it is not one queue. it is one queue cut into three. we are going to queue there next week. i tink we are quite mad.

i didn't blog here but didn't mean i didn't blog on flo and mine blog. haha. hiatus here and. . . funny. ok, i was smsing alot like week. i had like about 100 over left until end of the month until. . .last week, i meng sms then now, using my extra hp. wth. then i checked, i within three days sms one hundred smses. who on earth have i been msging? i blame kx all for this. haha.

i am like the first person in nj besides jiaming to finish their common test? super happy. it is bloody over. i won't sit for that bloody thing anymore. not even if it kills me. darius was teaching me and yun physics yest and i tink he nearly puked blood. seriously. i suck at physics. basic concepts is like zero. then he was like saying that got ppl during j2 maths test, left earlier cos they gave up. then he say, if you get up half an hour before end of time, ppl say u zai. but if u get up half an hour after e paper give up, ppl say u stupid. diff reactions at diff time.

my common test is screwed. seriously screwed. i had no freaking idea what the hell i was writing half the time. and i was stoning alot. can just drop dead. if results come back, i tink my parents are going to b worried la. sian. then if they see my hp bill surely hp gone. i tink. i dunno. sigh.

i was freaking happy when ct is over. like deliriously happy. haha. after the test, went to lib to slack abit with yun, norman and usarin. then the lib auntie quite nice, give us alot of jap ice cream discount coupons. haha. super nice one that ice cream, i ate before. . . then went to meet flo at hc. . .she so nice la. i love her to bits and pieces. got chocolate and got scallop. the scallop is super delicious one. i was at her class bench and meng happy la. ok, was super noisy and buggin the rest of the hc students but honestly, they mug at home one not like nj so. . . i tink they are prepared. then went to hc lib. super nice la. like very professional one but very few ppl inside. got alot of computers there la. . . sort of like bytez. theirs is more homely, nj is like, muggin paradise?

then was like around 1 so i went home and went online. was super bored la. so went to meng take photo of the house. like mad la. . . i tink i crazy onli. haha.


my com! so long i miss you


my bed plus book shelf


spare room but super messy


living room? no idea


stairs. . .


view from the stairs


my sitting area


my piano!!!


the counter, behind is kitchen


this separates me from the world

wad you see when you enter ba


what most of you didn't know. and yes, all mine

the super sexy plastic bag which flo gave it to me


darling flo gave me chocolate

ok, i tink i posted alot of photos. haha. super spam photo la. then went out to orchard to kino. bought alot of books ba. like hundred plus? it is a sin but then, i didn't go there for like one months over alr la, due to stupid common test. yup yup. then went paragon to buy sunglasses. went to my dad's fren shop and we had like the entire store to ourselves? was meng trying on sun glasses. sigh, the dior one tat i saw in paris miki not there. but then both my sis and i bought one. . .

then went to heeren to look at stuff. was walking aimlessly. haha. but quite fun. like long long time nv do tat liao. then went to plaza sing and my sis and i played this stupid counting game. we were counting the no. of couples holding hands in orchard. until the end of the day, total no. is 86. who the hell said singaporeans are conservative? haha. was quite like depressed as the numbers grew.

we were like openin our eyes wide to count la. we didn't walk half around of level 2 in ps when got 7 couples alr. sigh. then we went to arcade and play dance dance. lol. super rusty liao. then got this zai guy shooting hoops la. like he don't look at the ball he pick up just look at the hoop. and he nearly broke the high score la. zai. was playing until super sweaty so went to the food court for a drink. then. . . saw jun, timothy and the rest there. i dunno who was more stun.

so just sat there slacking. . . was surrounded by plastic bags la. total damage: $600+++. definitely one. the sunglasses alr 228 for one le. but quite sian of this alr. after that, we went walking around until my mum's fren fetched us from there. my mum quite diaoz one la. she say wait at taxi stand then when we there she call and say why we aren't here yet. . . when she was waiting NOT at the taxi stand. was quite bushuang.

then overhead the convo between my mum and her colleague. it was about a salesperson selling pots. the salesperson told an auntie tat if she buy the pot, he will bake a cake for her on the spot. then the auntie say that she want banana cake. so he took out one banana to make the cake. then the auntie complain say that too little banana then he took out another one. then the auntie complain again and say that wanna add something else. so he added orange. so it became a banana orange cake. super funny la. tat auntie super demandin la. free cake leh!!!

ok, i thot nothing can change my extremely good mood today but i was wrong. totally wrong. and i am stupid to allow it to spoil my day. you are seriously not worth it.

p.s i love you ♥
living in my own crazy world